Curfews suck

[Merik]

Dammit, I was with my girl tonight here at my house and her dad has set this curfew on her so that she has to be at the house by 1:00. Well we got carried away and I told her that I needed to get her home. But she didnt want to leave yet so we got carried away and next thing you know its 1:30. Now she is in deep **** with her dad because she has this bitch of a step-sister who is going to rat her out to her old man. Now I feel awful because I was talking to her on the phone and she is really really upset over it and started crying and then hung up the phone. Anyone got any suggestions on how to handle this or know of a similiar situation?

[Mark Sman]

Yeah, get her back by 0100 no matter what she says or does.

[American Patriot]

Tell that bitch to stop frontin' yo.

[mocking_loudly_died]

When in the ****, confront it head on - go over and see the old man and get your side of the story in before the evil sister does.

Please note: invent a believable innocent story - don't say you were shagging or that you were saving whales from Japanese businessmen.

[Mark Sman]

Don't invent anything. Tell him the truth or say nothing.

[mocking_loudly_died]

Don't listen to him, lying - cheating - stealing wins you the prom queen!

[Jack Mehoff]

Be a man. Stand up for yourself and kick the old man's ass.

[Mark Sman]

This is old, but it bears reposting.


As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

Rule One :

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two :

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three :

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during your date with my daughter, I will use my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist.

Rule Four :

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, *** without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to ***, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five :

In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six :

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven :

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight :

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough for my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or ****** theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine :

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten :

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my PTSD starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car--there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face watching you from the window is mine.

[martinexsquaddie]

rofl
I love my wife already belives thats going to be me and my duaghters only 4 rofl :D

[ShotOver]

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Love that one rofl

[Fargin]

Date the sister.

[Fintin]

yeah...homecomeing senior year...i dropped my date back home at 7:30 am...never did catch the end of "a knights tale"....anyone know what happens....

[Merik]

Yeah well the smart thing would have been to get her home on time but I really didnt want to with all that was going on at the time woot

[Scrim]

Find a MILF, they dont have curfews.

[memphiz]

Light a paper bag of dog poo on fire, knock on the front door, if he answers throw the bag at his face and run....that'll show him

[Beowulf]

Light a paper bag of dog poo on fire, knock on the front door, if he answers throw the bag at his face and run....that'll show him
hahaha!

[American Patriot]

Find 10 two liter soft drink bottles and fill each one with about a cup of frozen carbon dioxide. Hide them in his front lawn then wait for them to go off one by one an hour later.

[memphiz]

Light a paper bag of dog poo on fire, knock on the front door, if he answers throw the bag at his face and run....that'll show him
hahaha!
:P

[Beowulf]

Dammit, I was with my girl tonight here at my house and her dad has set this curfew on her so that she has to be at the house by 1:00. Well we got carried away and I told her that I needed to get her home. But she didnt want to leave yet so we got carried away and next thing you know its 1:30. Now she is in deep **** with her dad because she has this bitch of a step-sister who is going to rat her out to her old man. Now I feel awful because I was talking to her on the phone and she is really really upset over it and started crying and then hung up the phone. Anyone got any suggestions on how to handle this or know of a similiar situation?

Dude, you need to be the first one to tell Dad that she was a little late. If the sister tells it, it'll be something like "4am and you dropped her off on the curb with a needle in her arm"

Don't lie, just say you were late, apologize, and it won't happen again. Do it in person, and not over the phone.

[Trigger]

Just politely explain to dad that you would've been home on time, but you had to stop and pick up an early pregnancy test kit first...


What?

[josh10524]

Well, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place now, but you have to take the initiative or things will only get worse. Go to her house NOW, before the sister gets to daddy, come prepared with a good story, and look him straight in the eye when you bullsh*t him. Be humble, but not apologetic. You had a valid reason to be late, whatever you decide to use as an excuse. To apoligize is to admit fault. If you can't do that, she isn't worth the trouble.

[Abolith]

Holy Crap! 1:00AM !! I had to have my dates back by round 11 PM..

On that note you had best go and tell him yourself and do not delay this will only make things worse......much worse....I am talkin like "no you may not speak with my Daughter" worse. All it takes is ONE screwup and you might as well find someone else.

Oh ya be Honest, chances are that if he knows you are coming back that late you were doing something you shouldn't have in a place you shouldn't have been in the first place. of course don't say that she was playing "Rodeo" and was trying to "ride the Bronco", THAT kind of honest will only get you dead and buried.

[Beowulf]

of course, the parents trying to keep you two separate, tends to give the whole thing an air of excitement, sneaking out and whatnot. Plus it creates an Us vs. Them mentality, which could facilitate some heavy petting.... ;)



edit: maybe even some tomfoolery...

[California Joe]

Or shenanigans.

I can't wait to shoot the little bastards that come over to date my daughter.

[Merik]

Umm wow Joe, thats umm, really helpful there buddy.


In any case, Im still screwed cause I've never met the dad. We've only been screwing around for about 2 weeks.

[Trigger]

Well then go meet him. He may be cool and he may appreciate the honest approach that many are advocating.

then again...

You could take the George Carlin approach:
Walk in with an unkempt appearance, a pocket full of swizzle sticks and a joint behind your ear. Prop your feet up on the coffee table, point to the portrait on the mantle and ask "Who's the c*nt?"

nah.

Better go for option 1. :D

[Mark Sman]

Yeah, go for the honesty approach.

If he bans you from speaking to her. Go with it.

After two weeks of her slamming doors, bursting into tears and basically driving dad bat**** he'll cave. Then you're the "bad boy" daddy doesn't want her to see. She'll show him!

Plus, you can hit something else on the side while its developing.

Edit: Forgot to mention that if you were late cause you were "testing the suspension" don't tell him that. Just shut up. Don't lie, just don't talk.

People always underestimate the value of just shutting the hell up.

[Trigger]

Then you're the "bad boy" daddy doesn't want her to see.

"...and she likes 'the bad boy'..." ~ George Costanza

[UkrainianAmerican]

How old is the girl?

[ßå$tĮТHÏ¿ð]

Umm wow Joe, thats umm, really helpful there buddy.


In any case, Im still screwed cause I've never met the dad. We've only been screwing around for about 2 weeks

The only sentence that matters ;)
For all you know her dad can be some scary ass biker mofo, tell him the truth otherwise I wouldnt want to end up being a personal punching bag (hopefully her dads pinner and if he is then tell him whatever).

[FallenAngel]

I must agree with my fellow forum mates. The best solution in this case is to be a man and be honest.

That's the way it was with my girlfriend at first. "Five more minutes" turned into an hour and a half. I was honest, apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. It didn't. Six months later....they just wanted her home before dawn (except on homecoming and prom ;) )

OR...

you could always find some **** on the sister and blackmail her into silence. :)

[Nawlins]

Dammit, I was with my girl tonight here at my house and her dad has set this curfew on her so that she has to be at the house by 1:00. Well we got carried away and I told her that I needed to get her home. But she didnt want to leave yet so we got carried away and next thing you know its 1:30. Now she is in deep **** with her dad because she has this bitch of a step-sister who is going to rat her out to her old man. Now I feel awful because I was talking to her on the phone and she is really really upset over it and started crying and then hung up the phone. Anyone got any suggestions on how to handle this or know of a similiar situation?

Dude, you need to be the first one to tell Dad that she was a little late. If the sister tells it, it'll be something like "4am and you dropped her off on the curb with a needle in her arm"

Don't lie, just say you were late, apologize, and it won't happen again. Do it in person, and not over the phone.

Listen to him, he knows all about getting in trouble with the 'rents.