Ask a question about Australia

[Atasas]

'kay! bravado - is it the past time of Ozies?

[Clockwinder]

'kay! bravado - is it the past time of Ozies?
C'mere and say that!

[Soldat_Américain]

Worse than ever - unstoppable migration south. No known solution. Absolute pain in the arse.

Surprised you blokes don't do legalized hunting all year to attempt to cull the problem.

[Atasas]

...it is...
thanks! :lol:

[Clockwinder]

Surprised you blokes don't do legalized hunting all year to attempt to cull the problem.
The slimy lil buggers only really come out at night and a bullet per toad would need a LOT of ammo. They need to put a bounty on 'em and make 'em worth something dead.

[Soldat_Américain]

The movie a I saw which seems from the 60s and 70s has a guy driving in VW bus and they're all over the road and he just swerves to he can hit every single one he sees.

[digrar]

Toads have a 365 day open season with no bag limit.

[Panchito12]

Worse than ever - unstoppable migration south. No known solution. Absolute pain in the arse.

How about releasing some dingoes on the cane toads?

[digrar]

No natural predators.

[Opening Batsman]

How about releasing some dingoes on the cane toads?

That would result in a very poisoned dingo. :p

[Elbs]

http://www.submiturpics.com/images/12cz76uon5ckbky3izev.jpg

Any good?

[Clockwinder]

Any good?

Yummy tucker Mate!

[Clockwinder]

How about releasing some dingoes on the cane toads?
Maybe some chihuahuas!

[Panchito12]

Maybe some chihuahuas!

I got two "volunteers"!!

[Clockwinder]

I got two "volunteers"!!
You do realize that some Cane Toads are bigger than your dogs, right?

http://www.knottybits.com/isw/thewestcom_canetoad.jpg

[wagon]

^^^That one would pop really well. You'd have to line the tyres up just right, though.

[Opening Batsman]

That one would give a golf club a run for its money. :|

[JUNKHO]

you do realize that some cane toads are bigger than your dogs, right?

http://www.knottybits.com/isw/thewestcom_canetoad.jpg

kill it! Kill it with fire!

[Zarak]

*Picture*
Any good?

Isn't an AUD like .9 USD? Why do I have to pay $6 USD for a footlong in 'Merica? :(

[Clockwinder]

Isn't an AUD like .9 USD? Why do I have to pay $6 USD for a footlong in 'Merica? :(
Cos Vegemite is cheap!

[PeterRJG]

Thank God for the Bass Strait :) Keeping humans and those things out and us inbreeds in :D

Fixed for you.

[wagon]

Too late, mate. Toowoomba might be up on top of the Great Dividing Range but the inbreds from surrounding areas have mechanised transport.

[Clockwinder]

I have heard (anecdotely) that crocs actually eat the toads. A guy who knows a guy who works for the NT Govt., on croc stuff says they have found evidence that crocs eat the toads with no ill effects. To be verified and proven, of course. If true, they're the only animal that can eat the damn things.

[wagon]

Actually, crows here have learnt to eat cane toads - they flip them over and eat them from the belly in, thus avoiding the poison glands.

[PeterRJG]

Crows and magpies.

[Clockwinder]

Crows and magpies.
Aren't they football teams?

[ShotOver]

I live in Darwin and I've only ever seen one of them alive, the whole place is covered in dead ones though. Oh yeah and the alive one wasn't alive for very long.

[Clockwinder]

I live in Darwin and I've only ever seen one of them alive, the whole place is covered in dead ones though. Oh yeah and the alive one wasn't alive for very long.
I lived in Coconut Grove for 12 years before coming to the States. Hope all is well there. Are the CLP wankers still in power?

[Opening Batsman]

I live in Darwin and I've only ever seen one of them alive, the whole place is covered in dead ones though. Oh yeah and the alive one wasn't alive for very long.

I had one living under the drips from my air conditioner for a while, just outside my back door. It joined in my ecosystem of lizards, cockroaches, spiders, ants, other assorted insects, frogs and drunk and disorderly diggers.

[ShotOver]

Nice to see you included drunk diggers in the ecosystem, they do add to the overall circle of life. It's all quite scientific.

[Ordie]

Is prostitution legal?

[BigDukaroo]

Is prostitution legal?

Are you looking for a career change?

[ShotOver]

Is prostitution legal?

From my understanding it is, you can flick through the paper and find an escort service that delivers girls to your house if you want, or you can go to a brothel. However, I think that your average bird off the street isn't legal.

Not that I would know p-)

[Opening Batsman]

Brothels are legal in some places, not in the NT though. You have to use call girls.

Not that I would know.

[ShotOver]

Yeah, most of the call girls are still "owned" by a company, so it's like a Taxi service you call the place and place your order and then BAM you have an ugly chick at your front door.

That's in Darwin though, I'm sure they are decent in other places.

[Opening Batsman]

Yeah there are some pretty decent looking ones hanging around street corners at St. Kilda in Melbourne.

Not that I would know.

[ShotOver]

Yeah ones I've gotten in Melbourne have been pretty good.

Not that I would know.

[ShotOver]

Waaaait a second. I mean ones that I haven't got.

[wagon]

Yeah, most of the call girls are still "owned" by a company, so it's like a Taxi service you call the place and place your order and then BAM you have an ugly chick at your front door.

Not that I would know p-)

Fixed for you.:)

[goat89]

Yeah ones I've gotten in Melbourne have been pretty good.
Not that I would know.
Melbourne eh? Havent been there in years.... Miss that place.
So long as Min isnt there. :D

[wagon]

So long as Min isnt there. :D

I'm sure for the right amount of $$ he can be elsewhere. I'll PM you my paypal acount, eh?

[goat89]

I'm sure for the right amount of $$ he can be elsewhere. I'll PM you my paypal acount, eh?
Wait for Oxley's confirmation yo. I have learned from Ngati that you Diggers can be sneaky b*stards.

[wagon]

Wait for Oxley's confirmation yo. I have learned from Ngati that you Diggers can be sneaky b*stards.

I'm not a Digger but I have been known to be 'shifty'. I think that comes with being Australian.

[ShotOver]

Min is nowhere and everywhere, he is a state of mine, not something physical.

[wagon]

Min is nowhere and everywhere, he is a state of mine, not something physical.

Did you get a new supply or something?

[goat89]

Min is nowhere and everywhere, he is a state of mine, not something physical.
Forlorn Digger. Forlorn and deep.

[ShotOver]

I've actually met Min once, drank him under the table also which is something he'll argue though.

[goat89]

I've actually met Min once, drank him under the table also which is something he'll argue though.
What is this Digger slang word mean?

[ShotOver]

We met up at a pub and proceeded to get drunk and he ended up in a way worse state than what I was in.

[goat89]

We met up at a pub and proceeded to get drunk and he ended up in a way worse state than what I was in.
Ah... that makes sense. :D

[StuRat]

We met up at a pub and proceeded to get drunk and he ended up in a way worse state than what I was in.


Joke #1
It's not hard, with the get up he wears, he turns up in a way worse state p-)

Joke #2
Min ended up in a way worse state- Min is still in NSW, while Ox is in WA

[goat89]

Joke #1
It's not hard, with the get up he wears, he turns up in a way worse state p-)
Joke #2
Min ended up in a way worse state- Min is still in NSW, while Ox is in WA
Theres a diff between NSW and WA?
Whats WA? I know NSW is New South Wales.

[Hispeed1]

Theres a diff between NSW and WA?
Whats WA? I know NSW is New South Wales.

WA = Western Australia.

[Soldat_Américain]

From my understanding it is, you can flick through the paper and find an escort service that delivers girls to your house if you want, or you can go to a brothel. However, I think that your average bird off the street isn't legal.

Not that I would know p-)

That's my understanding with the legal aspects...but when my buddy was back there with from C Coy, 160th Infantry, for Talisman Saber, said that everytime us Yanks came off the bus for leave the sheila's were flocking like never before. Sounded quite cheap...also pissed off that my unit didn't get to go.

[ShotOver]

Yeah mate, Aussie girls love yanks, same as yank girls love Aussies. Also, when a ship comes in it usually takes a couple days for the brothels to close down due to overworking the girls haha.

[PeterRJG]

Yeah mate, Aussie girls love yanks, same as yank girls love Aussies. Also, when a ship comes in it usually takes a couple days for the brothels to close down due to overworking the girls haha.

I can attest to this. Yep yep, etc.

[Clockwinder]

Yeah mate, Aussie girls love yanks, same as yank girls love Aussies. Also, when a ship comes in it usually takes a couple days for the brothels to close down due to overworking the girls haha.
Met 4 girls on "holiday" in Bali once - they were on R&R after the USS Nimitz visited Perth. Great drinkers and good time girls, but "We do that for a job love, no free samples".

[Panchito12]

Who do Australians prefer as neighbors, (1) Switzerland, or (2) New Zealand:

[Clockwinder]

Who do Australians prefer as neighbors, (1) Switzerland, or (2) New Zealand:
Definitely the Germans - they have such a good sense of humour and such a rich depth of culture in the humanities.

[Slouch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fHlTAxumSI

[Ordie]

QANTAS? or Air New Zealand?

[Clockwinder]

QANTAS? or Air New Zealand?
Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Service for me thanks.

[Opening Batsman]

I dunno, last time I flew QANTAS there was an ugly air hostess. Kind of ruined the experience for me.

[StuRat]

I dunno, last time I flew QANTAS there was an ugly air hostess. Kind of ruined the experience for me.


Virgin and Jetstar have all the young pretty looking ones, they seem to go onto QANTAS when they're experienced but older.

[Clockwinder]

I dunno, last time I flew QANTAS there was an ugly air hostess. Kind of ruined the experience for me.
Blame the Labor party and their Union mates - Flight Attendants (Stewardesses in my day) have job tenure and even if they turn old and ugly they get to keep their job. BUT, I will say that Thai and Malaysian Airlines have the absolute best looking attendants - the females anyway. If you're intio Asian that is.

[Curtis E. Bear]

By Malaysian you must mean Singapore Airlines.

[goat89]

By Malaysian you must mean Singapore Airlines.
Chill buddeh. To each his own. :D

[TheKiwi]

Is it true that you will no longer be able to use the internets to view women ******* themselves with a large ******* until it would be impossible to extract it, even with ****** and a torch?

[StuRat]

Is it true that you will no longer be able to use the internets to view women ******* themselves with a large ******* until it would be impossible to extract it, even with ****** and a torch?


Soon I'll only be able to visit Kevin Rudds webpage and the Play School one.

[digrar]

The playschool site may encourage the kiddie fiddlers, so strike that one off of your list.

[Movieman]

Can you please send some vegemite to me, I can PM you my address. I have paypal to cover costs. I am serious.

[Clockwinder]

Is it true that you will no longer be able to use the internets to view women ******* themselves with a large ******* until it would be impossible to extract it, even with ****** and a torch?

Yep - Read all about it http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=170757

And here I always tell the Yanks that Oz is progressive and liberal and democratic and non-sectarian and tolerant.

[digrar]

Can you please send some vegemite to me, I can PM you my address. I have paypal to cover costs. I am serious.

If you can't get it locally, you can get it on ebay.

[Clockwinder]

Can you please send some vegemite to me, I can PM you my address. I have paypal to cover costs. I am serious.
www.everythingaustralian.com

[Movieman]

www.everythingaustralian.com (http://www.everythingaustralian.com)

Thanks for the link.

[JohnnyWalker]

Hey my friend is going to Australia on a school exchange. They won't tell him where he will be staying, it's a part of a secret santa student exchange... so he doesn't know what city. But can he find Kangaroos and Joes or whatever they might be called in any part of Australia? As long as he goes outside the city limits?

[Whiskey Tango Foxtrot]

Which tastes better, koala or a portuguese man of war?

[Panchito12]

Which tastes better, koala or a portuguese man of war?


Cane toad.

[Flounder]

How come there isn't any edelweiss listed on everythingaustralian.com? WTF?

[BigDukaroo]

Can you please send some vegemite to me, I can PM you my address. I have paypal to cover costs. I am serious.

If you're in the states, it's sold at Cost Plus (http://www.worldmarket.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3624360) World Market along with Marmite and other imports.

[Movieman]

If you're in the states, it's sold at Cost Plus World Market along with Marmite and other imports.

Already got half a kilo at everythingaustralian.com

Just to be safe.

[Clockwinder]

Hey my friend is going to Australia on a school exchange. They won't tell him where he will be staying, it's a part of a secret santa student exchange... so he doesn't know what city. But can he find Kangaroos and Joes or whatever they might be called in any part of Australia? As long as he goes outside the city limits?
Kangaroos and wallabies are native to every part of Australia, except Tasmania (in parks and nature reserves there). Different species - different areas of occupancy. "outside the the city limits" definitely, but not always. they are similar to deer in the US, but in open country, are prevalent and obvious. "Joeys" are baby kangaroos/wallabies that live in the mother's pouch.

[Navel Lint]

Any of you aussies have any personal experience with any of these farming work for accomodation type programs?

[Clockwinder]

Which tastes better, koala or a portuguese man of war?
I'd feed you a Box Jelly if you tried to eat a Koala you sick bastard.

[Clockwinder]

How come there isn't any edelweiss listed on everythingaustralian.com? WTF?
WTF is eidelweiss?

[Clockwinder]

Any of you aussies have any personal experience with any of these farming work for accomodation type programs?

Work ya guts out for no pay and crap food, in the middle of nowhere. Otherwise really fun!

Try for a jackaroo position on a Station - sort of like an Intern. Google is your friend.

[IMTT]

Is the beer that good and are the girls that pretty?

[JohnnyWalker]

Kangaroos and wallabies are native to every part of Australia, except Tasmania (in parks and nature reserves there). Different species - different areas of occupancy. "outside the the city limits" definitely, but not always. they are similar to deer in the US, but in open country, are prevalent and obvious. "Joeys" are baby kangaroos/wallabies that live in the mother's pouch.

Thank you!!! That's what I needed to know

[Clockwinder]

Is the beer that good and are the girls that pretty?
Yep and Yep

[digrar]

Any of you aussies have any personal experience with any of these farming work for accomodation type programs?

Depends where you end up, we have a few people who do it down at home. The kids generally become part of the family and community, you haven't seen Aussie Rules football played until you've seen it played by a Danish exchange student of dubious athletic ability and co-ordination, we have some come back to visit, others have been known to marry locals.

[Navel Lint]

Haha, I have seriously thought about taking a decent amount of time from work and doing something like that. Only places I've really considered is Germany(because I've been there and like it) and Australia. I've searched and read about as much as I can about it on the internet, but I haven't been able to find anyone that has experienced it themselves to give a different perspective.

[LaoSexMachine]

Is the Outback like David Bowie's "Let's Dance" video?

[Uboj]

Depends where you end up, we have a few people who do it down at home. The kids generally become part of the family and community, you haven't seen Aussie Rules football played until you've seen it played by a Danish exchange student of dubious athletic ability and co-ordination, we have some come back to visit, others have been known to marry locals.

Work on my farm. Hard work but fun.

Luckily it is not my livelyhood so it can be fun.

EDIT: This is one of the funniest threads.

[Clockwinder]

Is the Outback like David Bowie's "Let's Dance" video?
No - it's like Midnight Oil's One Country
http://www.videocure.com/video/73454.html

[Clockwinder]

Tasmania has a very large abundance of Wallabies and one species of Kangaroo, they are quite numerous as well.
Very true - notice the word "native".

[LaoSexMachine]

No - it's like Midnight Oil's One Country
http://www.videocure.com/video/73454.html


How can we dance when the earth is turning?
How can we sleep while the beds are burning?

[StuRat]

Kangaroos and wallabies are native to every part of Australia, except Tasmania (in parks and nature reserves there). Different species - different areas of occupancy. "outside the the city limits" definitely, but not always. they are similar to deer in the US, but in open country, are prevalent and obvious. "Joeys" are baby kangaroos/wallabies that live in the mother's pouch.

There are plenty of wallabies native to Tassie.

[Clockwinder]

There are plenty of wallabies native to Tassie.
OK OK I get it. You didn't kill off the wallabies and kangaroos with the Tassie Tigers and Abos.

[digrar]

How can we dance when the earth is turning?
How can we sleep while the beds are burning?

He's our Federal Environment minister now...

[Clockwinder]

How can we dance when the earth is turning?
How can we sleep while the beds are burning?
Yep. Always liked those guys.

[LaoSexMachine]

He's our Federal Environment minister now...


That boy has some funky dance moves. He looks like the bald dude from the "Hills have eyes".

[PeterRJG]

Yep, you could count on Midnight Oil for music. Every song, every album...sounded the same. :D

[Clockwinder]

That boy has some funky dance moves. He looks like the bald dude from the "Hills have eyes".
I could never watch him - only listen.

[Clockwinder]

Yep, you could count on Midnight Oil for music. Every song, every album...sounded the same. :D
Awww no fair. I kinda like 'em. I guess that makes me mundane and boring too.

[goat89]

Is there a conflict between Tasmanian insurgents and the Australian military?

[Soldat_Américain]

Outback steakhouse really Outback cuisine?

[PeterRJG]

Outback steakhouse really Outback cuisine?

Yep, even the Thorny Devils eat Bloomin Onions.

[digrar]

Who knows, we only have 4 of them here and they're all within a couple of hours of the Sydney CBD.

[Opening Batsman]

Is there a conflict between Tasmanian insurgents and the Australian military?

We've pretty much got it under control, we left the island for dead and use the air sea gap as a buffer by regularly bombing their rafts and bridge building attempts. There is also extensive wiring and mine fields along the Victorian coast.

[Clockwinder]

Outback steakhouse really Outback cuisine?
No way! Outback cuisine is sh1t sandwiches and sand.
Outback is wholly USA owned and operated, and has bugger all to do with Oz.

[offspring]

No way! Outback cuisine is sh1t sandwiches and sand.
Outback is wholly USA owned and operated, and has bugger all to do with Oz.

had me fooled

[Soldat_Américain]

No way! Outback cuisine is sh1t sandwiches and sand.
Outback is wholly USA owned and operated, and has bugger all to do with Oz.
I was asking because I've never been to one, hoping it was good.

[Clockwinder]

Is there a conflict between Tasmanian insurgents and the Australian military?

Tasmanian insurgents are so inbred they fight each other - "Tails" against "Two heads"


The 12th/40th Battalion, The Royal Tasmania Regiment, is part of 9 Brigade (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_9th_Brigade), with Battalion headquarters based at Derwent Barracks, Glenorchy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenorchy,_Tasmania), Alpha Company based in Launceston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Launceston,_Tasmania) and Bravo Company at Warrane on Hobart's Eastern Shore. The Battalion serves in the light infantry role as part of 2 Division (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_2nd_Division_%28World_War_II%29), Australia's main home defence formation.

We don't let them have weapons though.

[Clockwinder]

I was asking because I've never been to one, hoping it was good.

It's Applebee with Oz names on the menu. TGI Friday is better.

[BigDukaroo]

No way! Outback cuisine is sh1t sandwiches and sand.
Outback is wholly USA owned and operated, and has bugger all to do with Oz.

That's a lie.

http://www.youtube.com/v/0Mvm6KfJDE0

It's clearly Australian.

[PeterRJG]

I remember one Outback ad in the US showed "Australians" drinking beer on the beach out of glass mugs. Heads up Seppos, we drink beer on the beach out of a can or a bottle. Get authentic.

[PeterRJG]

Not to mention they gave the world Errol Flynn.

[Opening Batsman]

Only Taswegians have such an inferiority complex that they go around working out how many VCs were awarded to people from their particular state. p-)

[StuRat]

We just pretend we're all retarded and barbaric so the rest of Australia doesn't come down here and wreck the beauty p-)

[PeterRJG]

We just pretend we're all retarded and barbaric so the rest of Australia doesn't come down here and wreck the beauty p-)

Wreck the beauty? That explains why you all do 70 in 100 zones. Too busy staring at the wildlife.

[Opening Batsman]

Fact: Tasmanians aren't born. They just climb down out of trees.

[StuRat]

Fact: Tasmanians aren't born. They just climb down out of trees.

Climb? I fell, probably explains a few things......

[AroundTheCorner]

WTF is eidelweiss?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edelweiss



Never heard of Edelweiss growing in Australia

[digrar]

It's a variation on the Austria/Australia theme.

[ltrowley]

I've got a case of edleweiss liquer at work. I use it to to pour over women's breasts. I still don't get paid enough.

[oldsoak]

lemme get this straight - you need paying to pour a liqueur over womens breasts ?!
There summat you not telling us ITrowley ? :-P

[ltrowley]

Nothing I ain't telling mate. Needs to get paid p-)



No, in all seriousness the wanky cocktail bar manager upstairs uses it to make some sort of martini. I get the downstairs supervisory role, like kindergarden for retarded gorillas on meth.

[Hando]

I get the downstairs supervisory role, like kindergarden for retarded gorillas on meth.

You work at Liquids in Rockingham...???

[ltrowley]

You work at Liquids in Rockingham...???

No........

[oldsoak]

Rockingham=hoonsville I take it

[digrar]

Boganville.

[wagon]

Boganville.

So there are two suburbs called 'Boganville'? One in WA and one in Newcastle (where Min hides).

[digrar]

There are a good half a dozen or more here in Perth alone.

[wagon]

Come to think of it, I think there's a couple in Toowoomba too.

[PeterRJG]

And a dozen more in Sydney.

[wagon]

I've been studying this at length and I've found the bogan content of an area is directly proportional to the number of Holdens, especially Commodores (of any model). Do the research yourselves, you'll find I'm right.

[digrar]

It used to be a high VK-VL content, but now it's more of a beat up VT indicator.

[wagon]

It used to be a high VK-VL content, but now it's more of a beat up VT indicator.

I'm told VL's fetch a higher price than a VT. Why?

[digrar]

Nissan engine... Instead of the GM boat anchor.

[wagon]

The VT has IRS, probably has ABS, airbags, etc. VL has nothing except for the better Nissan motor.

[MajorPayne]

What does Kangaroo meat taste like ? Chicken ? Pork?

[BiZ]

The VT has IRS, probably has ABS, airbags, etc. VL has nothing except for the better Nissan motor.

The better motor is all that matters. I was never able to kill my old VL.

[PeterRJG]

What does Kangaroo meat taste like ? Chicken ? Pork?

Ask one of our dogs. It's who we feed it to.
Seriously, it tastes like strong-flavoured steak. It's a little too gamey for my liking.

[PeterRJG]

The only Holden I ever owned was a HQ Premier, 308 V8. Easiest car I've owned to work on.

[Clockwinder]

13 Victoria Crosses out of the 97 granted to Australia for a state with 500,000 population. I'd say there'd be no need to give Tassiers any weapons, they are fierce enough without any :D
OFFS!!!! It was a JOKE!!! Lighten up Robert. I have two sons living in Tassie.

[Clockwinder]

That's a lie.

http://www.youtube.com/v/0Mvm6KfJDE0

It's clearly Australian.
Oh right - because this turncoat arsehole with the right accent says so!

[Clockwinder]

What does Kangaroo meat taste like ? Chicken ? Pork?
Gamey - like venison or buffalo

[StuRat]

Boganville.]

Instead of naming suburbs to Boganville, we renamed the bogans as per the suburb.

Now we have chiggers from chigwell and Ravo's from Ravenswood.

[goat89]

Been years since I went to Australia - Adelaide, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne... do you grow Oranges?

[Karaahmetoglu]

Are the Girls in Switzerland nice?

[PeterRJG]

Been years since I went to Australia - Adelaide, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne... do you grow Oranges?

We sure do. However, one place we don't grow oranges is in Orange (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange,_New_South_Wales)

[Clockwinder]

Are the Girls in Switzerland nice?
No - too bloody cold and too close to Germany

[goat89]

We sure do. However, one place we don't grow oranges is in Orange (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange,_New_South_Wales)
Oh jesus. :D

[Kilgor]

What does Kangaroo meat taste like ? Chicken ? Pork?

just like steak really, just a bit chewy. Gotta cook it pretty raw or its like rubber.

[ltrowley]

Made the mistake of leaving my BBQ shopping on Australia day until the last minute. Empty shelves, had to pick up cheap kangaroo sausages. Tasted like a farmyard smells. Barely made the 'fit for human consumption' quota methinks.

[oldsoak]

26th of January I thought ?

[ltrowley]

Yep, christ under 3 weeks now.

[ShotOver]

I fly back to Darwin on the 26th, aaah, happy happy joy joy...

[oldsoak]

Tons of time to get the sossies in.
Wont be barbeque weather over here, but we'll do summat typically Australian - get p*ssed and thrown in the spare room by the missus ! :-)

@Oxley - where are yer now m8 ?

[ShotOver]

I'm in Perth at the moment, flew in from Frankfurt 2 days ago now so the heat is kicking my arse.

[oldsoak]

Nicely ! better than Frankers tho !

[Connaught Ranger]

To our Australian members, Happy New Year here's hoping you are safe and sound in between floods and fire.

Connaught Ranger.

[Clockwinder]

Thanks Connaught

Anyone passing through Saint Louis on the 26th is welcome to drop by for a beer.

[Panchito12]

Thanks Connaught

Anyone passing through Saint Louis on the 26th is welcome to drop by for a beer.

Good God why would anyone stop over St. Louis??:cantbeli:

[oldsoak]

For a free beer of course ! :lol:

[Clockwinder]

Good God why would anyone stop over St. Louis??:cantbeli:
Well, you're off my Christmas list!

For a free beer of course ! :lol:
Who said it was free? JK - You'd be welcome.

[Ordie]

I wouldn't drink Budweiser even if it was free.

Unless its Stienlager.

[Panchito12]

Well, you're off my Christmas list!

Who said it was free? JK - You'd be welcome.

No self-respecting Australian would ever drink Budweiser (and would only use it to wash away dog piss from the sidewalk).

[Connaught Ranger]

Good God why would anyone stop over St. Louis??:cantbeli:

Because its a known "Panchito12 Free Zone!"rofl

[Panchito12]

Because its a known "Panchito12 Free Zone!"rofl

You got that right.

St. Louis.....lousy beer, awful football, fat midwestern chics strung out on meth.

[oldsoak]

"fat midwestern chics strung out on meth."

- I love it when you talk dirty....

[Clockwinder]

Nah - Bud and Miller and Michelob are pi$$ water. Fat Tire, Schafley, Sam Adams.

St. Louis.....lousy beer, awful football, fat midwestern chics strung out on meth. The Rams suck, but who watches that dumb game anyway? Fat chicks - Yep - the good looking ones use them as camouflage. Shame you always get the fat ugly ones huh?

[IraGlacialis]

I wouldn't drink Budweiser even if it was free.

Unless its Stienlager.
Try Schlafly beer. Good stuff (even if I'm a Boulevard guy). EDIT: Clockwinder beat me to it.

Though it is unlikely to be found out of the Midwest.

[Panchito12]

Shame you always get the fat ugly ones huh?

No porkers or snowpigs for me. My wife is a slim 5'5", 130lbs.

[jklv]

Are prison-like basements standard on Australian homes?

[Clockwinder]

Are prison-like basements standard on Australian homes?
Yes - everyone is required to house at least 3 prisoners.

[Panchito12]

Yes - everyone is required to house at least 3 prisoners.

and how many sheep?

[Clockwinder]

and how many sheep?
We feed the sheep to the prisoners.

[StuRat]

and how many sheep?

That's New Zealand

[rhino]

is it true that due to lack of water, or rather short supply of it, the Australian piss is made of sea water? I mean beer

[Soldat_Américain]

How much do the Maori people make a part of the culture, anywhere near as high as New Zealand?

[boone]

How much do the Maori people make a part of the culture, anywhere near as high as New Zealand?
The Maoris of Australia constitute the ruling class in both cultural and economic strata.

[StuRat]

is it true that due to lack of water, or rather short supply of it, the Australian piss is made of sea water? I mean beer

Not in Tasmania, it's all quality rainwater.


How much do the Maori people make a part of the culture, anywhere near as high as New Zealand?

Less than 1%

[ltrowley]

Whilst when sober Maoris are an incredibly amiable bunch, when getting drunk and rowdy I tend to give them a wide berth whilst pointing to them frantically and radioing security.

I don't get paid enough for facial reconstructions.

[boone]

Whilst when sober Maoris are an incredibly amiable bunch, when getting drunk and rowdy I tend to give them a wide berth whilst pointing to them frantically and radioing security.

I don't get paid enough for facial reconstructions.
I went on the Piss with a bunch of Maoris once .......made me homesick.

[ltrowley]

To me personally Maoris are the ultimate paradox, such friendly awesome dudes for the main part, just ****e to devastingly explosive bouts of violence.

Even if you fancy yourself as a bit of a fist swinger, your average Maori will make piecemeal of you, I'm quite sure of this.

[TheKiwi]

Traditional Maori pub weapon is the jug of beer.

[ltrowley]

Traditional Maori pub weapon is the jug of beer.

We use plastic jugs for various reasons

[jklv]

We feed the sheep to the prisoners.
But what if I want to feed them dogfood?

[digrar]

Just last night, at about 11pm, I told a Maori that I was going to stick his harmonica 6 inches up his arse if he didn't put it away. Not everyone got to fly out this morning, some of us had to be up at zero dark o'clock to slave away at the pickle factory. Wankers.

I was very brave, I did it from 30 meters away, :) but I did use my parade ground/live fire attack voice.

[Violet Fashion by Mindy]

I've thrown a few punches at the Islanders/Maoris when I used to play Rugby. Bunch of softies.

Also threatened a Maori bouncer dressed as a chick to.

I'm still here

[Derbedeu]

What exactly is the role of the Governor General? How does it correlate to the Prime Minister? Especially in terms of precedence at official banquets and such? As representative of the Queen, is the office seen as British? Or is it Australian?

[TheKiwi]

I've thrown a few punches at the Islanders/Maoris when I used to play Rugby. Bunch of softies.

Also threatened a Maori bouncer dressed as a chick to.

I'm still here

Yeah well bouncers shouldn't be dressed as chicks. The heels must have made it hard for them to chase you.

[Violet Fashion by Mindy]

What exactly is the role of the Governor General? How does it correlate to the Prime Minister? Especially in terms of precedence at official banquets and such? As representative of the Queen, is the office seen as British? Or is it Australian?

I don't see it as a British office.

[digrar]

What exactly is the role of the Governor General? How does it correlate to the Prime Minister? Especially in terms of precedence at official banquets and such? As representative of the Queen, is the office seen as British? Or is it Australian?


It's been a few years since the GG was a British minor Royal, or a Chief Justice/Attorney-General/High Court judge with a good war record.
It's mostly a ceremonial position, they pretty much follow formalities. "When a proposed law passed by both Houses of Parliament is presented to the Governor-General for the Queen's assent, he shall declare ... that he assents in the Queen's name."
If Parliament and the PM plays the game, the GG plays the game, if things turns to ****, the GG has the power to step in and sort it out. It hasn't been done since Min's man crush Gough Whitlam made a mess of things back in the early 70's.

[Derbedeu]

Thanks Min, digrar. :)

[ltrowley]

I've thrown a few punches at the Islanders/Maoris when I used to play Rugby. Bunch of softies.

Also threatened a Maori bouncer dressed as a chick to.

I'm still here


I think the words 'few' and 'used' are pivotal in this sentence.

[ltrowley]

Yeah well bouncers shouldn't be dressed as chicks. The heels must have made it hard for them to chase you.

We used to hire a gay bouncer. I'd call him a gorilla in a tutu.

Drunk idiots would pick up on his 'feminine' side, hilarity ensued.

[Panchito12]

I'm still waiting for Australia to apologize for that garbage Mercury Capri convertible that was sold in the US during the 90's.

[wagon]

I'm still waiting for Australia to apologize for that garbage Mercury Capri convertible that was sold in the US during the 90's.

You mean the Mazda 323-based things? C'mon, they weren't that bad. I tell you what, you send us all of your Capri's and we'll send you every POS American-made car we have here.. Chrysler Neon, Voyager, Cherokee (and others), various F-trucks, GM suburban, Ford Taurus, etc. You take all your $hit back and we'll take ours.p-)

[T.S.C.Plage]

Are there many pot smokers in Australia and how/what are the laws about consumption, cultivation and such?

[jklv]

Das deutscher ist ein pothead....
amidoinitrite?

[Soldat_Américain]

NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm4UAt_bKwo

Does the RAN do more of these, back in the states there was a squadron that did a bunch of Black Eyed Peas songs...how there's that much time to do this stuff when underway I have no idea.

[Panchito12]

NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm4UAt_bKwo

how there's that much time to do this stuff when underway I have no idea.

There is always plenty of time u/w to horse around...and that can be a problem too many times (a bored sailor is just a problem waiting to happen).

p.s. Seems as if these RN boys (air det?) don't know the difference between a bouy and a life ring.

[Soldat_Américain]

There is always plenty of time u/w to horse around...and that can be a problem too many times (a bored sailor is just a problem waiting to happen).

p.s. Seems as if these RN boys (air det?) don't know the difference between a bouy and a life ring.

VAW-116 seems to have a lot of time on their hands.

[Panchito12]

VAW-116 seems to have a lot of time on their hands.

Naval Aviators ALWAYS have too much free time.

[Clockwinder]

I'm still waiting for Australia to apologize for that garbage Mercury Capri convertible that was sold in the US during the 90's.
NEVER!!!! You gave us the Fairmont!

[Clockwinder]

Are there many pot smokers in Australia and how/what are the laws about consumption, cultivation and such?
No - we shoot them.

Seriously - sure there are. The laws are about the same as the US - slack enforcement. Cultivation can land you a hefty gaol sentence though.

In the NT we used to fly pot spotting missions for the Fed Police, and the NorForce would escort the coppers in to destroy the crops.

[Clockwinder]

NSFW
Does the RAN do more of these, back in the states there was a squadron that did a bunch of Black Eyed Peas songs...how there's that much time to do this stuff when underway I have no idea.
Pussers are weird.

[Ordie]

Why are there so many flies?

[digrar]

Lots of cattle, lots of sheep, lots of ****, lots of flies.

[Clockwinder]

Why are there so many flies?
Comapared to where? Ever been to Africa? Or the ME? Flies in OZ are well behaved and add flavour to any meal.

[oldsoak]

Was that something that got worse with the introduction of sheep n cattle or was it already bad due to indigenous animals ?
I remember being attacked by swarms of horseflies along the coast road right by the 12 apostles. We were driving from Melbourne through to Adelaide. There were zillions of the bastards.

[Clockwinder]

Was that something that got worse with the introduction of sheep n cattle or was it already bad due to indigenous animals ?
I remember being attacked by swarms of horseflies along the coast road right by the 12 apostles. We were driving from Melbourne through to Adelaide. There were zillions of the bastards.
I guess it got worse with livestock and rabbits and other feral animals. Native animals don't leave that much scat really.

[digrar]

The iron ore mine I am at is in the middle of a massive cattle station. Flies are brutal out here. Everyone generally has a couple of hundred on their backs when they're outside, but during Winter they pretty much dissapear, which is a welcome relief.

[T.S.C.Plage]

Das deutscher ist ein pothead....
amidoinitrite?
Actually no because if you talk about a male it's "Der Deutsche" but the rest is ok except that we don't use the word pothead.


No - we shoot them.

Seriously - sure there are. The laws are about the same as the US - slack enforcement. Cultivation can land you a hefty gaol sentence though.

In the NT we used to fly pot spotting missions for the Fed Police, and the NorForce would escort the coppers in to destroy the crops.
Ah, really? I was asking because I got the impression (from TV documentations) that especially in the outback it's quite common and they don't even try to hide it and that's why I thought it's maybe at least "tolerated".

[Dwelm]

super 14, think u guys gona preform this year ?
I am hoping to see a great performance from the Western Force.

[Curtis E. Bear]

I'm coming back to Aus after 6 months overseas.

Do shops still close at 5pm?
Should I still avoid public transport if I value my safety?
Is SA still a brown, dry, backward sh!thole?
Has anything got even marginally better?

[sepheronx]

Why is Australia so racist?

[rkpo]

Why is Australia so racist?

Why are you the sensative victim to misintepreting things as racism?

[wagon]

I'm coming back to Aus after 6 months overseas.

Do shops still close at 5pm?
Should I still avoid public transport if I value my safety?
Is SA still a brown, dry, backward sh!thole?
Has anything got even marginally better?
No. Same $hit, different day.

Why is Australia so racist?
We're not. We just don't like yellows, greens, reds, blacks, ....... p-)

Nah, really there are groups like everywhere else that are racist but by and large people are pretty good with people different to them.

[Opening Batsman]

Why is Australia so racist?

Why is everybody so racist to Australians?

[T3ngu]

Why is Australia so racist?
Why are all canadians retarded...

wait... im stereotyping...based on what i read on the interwebz

[BigDukaroo]

Why are all canadians retarded...

wait... im stereotyping...based on what i read on the interwebz

Racist.

...

[Fallap]

In Canada there is only two professions: Icehockey player and h00ker :b

[oldsoak]

This is about Austria , not Canada :-P

[Panchito12]

This is about Austria , not Canada :-P

They both have "Native" populations, eh?rofl

[Clockwinder]

Why is Australia so racist?
It's our Convict heritage. We aren't racist so much as we hate everyone equally.

[goat89]

I have heard rumours of cross state/territory raids of capturing livestock... with many bush ppl being hired as mercenaries... is it true?

[Clockwinder]

I have heard rumours of cross state/territory raids of capturing livestock... with many bush ppl being hired as mercenaries... is it true?
Oh yeah - We have been trying to wipe out the "bush ppl" but they just out-breed our extermination efforts.
Tell ya what - STOP LISTENING TO RUMOURS!

[Violet Fashion by Mindy]

Australia's pot laws

http://ncpic.org.au/ncpic/publications/factsheets/article/cannabis-and-the-law

[MN_Air]

are the criminals in Aus extremely bad?

[Clockwinder]

are the criminals in Aus extremely bad?
Seen the Sopranos? The Godfather? Multiply by 100.

[Derbedeu]

Is Top Gear Australia a good show? Or is it rubbish?

[Bushranger]

Is Top Gear Australia a good show? Or is it rubbish?

You know the answer..... Its Absolute rubbish & should be taken off the TV.

[PALADIN]

Why do I not want to visit Australia any time soon?

[wagon]

Why do I not want to visit Australia any time soon?

Because. Just because.

[Bedhead]

Visited NSW in 1991, and loved all of it. Very friendly and very down to earth people.

My question: why did almost every piece of ham I had have bone chips in it? The mutton was great, as was the beef, but pork down there was less than good. Goofy food standards? That's how you Aussies like it? Or maybe they thought we Americans wouldn't notice? :)

And another if it's alright: where in the hell can I get Toohey's Red and Four X (Castlemaine?) beers here in the U.S.?

[digrar]

Bone in your ham? Weird.

[Warlock762]

Favourite local food ? Or ist it different throughout the territories ?

[Andreas]

Are you upside down right now with vegimite all over your face?

[wagon]

Are you upside down right now with vegimite all over your face?

Not at the moment. I've got beer. Mmmmm beer.

[Opening Batsman]

Are you upside down right now with vegimite all over your face?

Behind my ears.

[Number34]

Visited NSW in 1991, and loved all of it. Very friendly and very down to earth people.

My question: why did almost every piece of ham I had have bone chips in it? The mutton was great, as was the beef, but pork down there was less than good. Goofy food standards? That's how you Aussies like it? Or maybe they thought we Americans wouldn't notice? :)

And another if it's alright: where in the hell can I get Toohey's Red and Four X (Castlemaine?) beers here in the U.S.?

I could piss in a bottle and mail it to you. free of charge

[wagon]

I could piss in a bottle and mail it to you. free of charge

Not all XXXX is fail.. I had a new one tonight 'Summer lager' or something - actually not too bad.

[digrar]

Sounds homo, does it come with a slice of lemon?

[PALADIN]

What is the average lifespan of a non-Australian once transplanted to Australia?

[DID]

There is snow in winter?

[wagon]

Sounds homo, does it come with a slice of lemon?

No, but it does come in a bottle with a twist top lid.

[digrar]

Twist top is pretty limp wristed. Must be for Gold Coast Queenslanders.