Sana Saudagar
11-04-2008, 12:22 AM
Of boars, rats and ticks
Monday, November 03, 2008
by Shakir Husain
Islamabad is under attack yet again, and this time Pakistan’s uber cop, Rehman Malik, seems completely unable to do anything.
According to the BBC “they” have infiltrated even the impregnable green zone. Ladies and Gentlemen, Islamabad has been overrun by wild boars, but before panic sets in rest assured that a campaign to eradicate this menace has been launched by the CDA, and, if we’re really lucky, with the help of foreign assistance.
According to CDA director Raja Mohammad Javed, in remarks to the BBC, “we started the campaign after the boars infiltrated the green zone. Eighteen have been killed in the grounds of the Presidential Palace (sic) alone so far.” It seems that the boars really crossed the line when they crossed the green zone and brought on themselves the wrath of the authorities.
Mr Javed continued with this terrifying tale of duplicity and terror to the BBC: “The population has really boomed and there are many hogs in the prime minister’s residence as well.” Good God, not the PM’s residence as well! According to Mr. Javed’s interview to the BBC crack teams of hunters have been unleashed on the boars and they’re responding to each and every instance of a boar sighting. To add to this concerted effort to uproot the wild boar menace, especially in the “green zone,” special licenses have been issued to concerned local citizens and foreign diplomats who are going after this menace. There isn’t much clarity from the CDA on this entire effort at all. For instance, are the Friends of Pakistan participating in hunting down wild boars in the “green zone”? Which foreign diplomats have been issued these special hunting permits? And will these diplomats be allowed to enter our sacred “green” zone? Have we explored the possibility of allowing drones to track down the boars? I’m amazed that our capable Minister of Information hasn’t briefed the nation on this alarming development.
The citizens want to know if their only national asset—i.e., our leaders—are safe from the menace of these heinous animals. I’m also surprised at Dr Shahid Masood and how he has not put together a special talk show to discuss this alarming development.
While Islamabad battles the wild boar threat, the rest of the country faces one of the largest rat infestations since its inception in 1947. First, these rats invaded the National Assembly and now they’re everywhere. It would be one thing if the rodents were just going about their business, but the reality is that they’re jumping ship and causing massive panic among the population while they’re at it.
The rat problem may pale in comparison to what the innocent residents of the green zone, are facing but it’s impacting the national economy, real estate, and business sentiment across the country. No one seems to know how long the rat infestation will last and when the last of them will have left for different shores. Again, talk show hosts, who are the guardians of knowledge in our society, have failed us in shedding light on this important issue.
While we’re talking about infestations, there also seems to have been a massive surge in the vast number of ticks which have been attacking the animals of this country. The tick, as readers might know, is an extremely dangerous parasite which lives off whichever beast it latches onto. Ticks stay attached to the “host” till they can draw no more nourishment, at which point they detach and move on to the next target. Pakistan, unfortunately, has a higher proportion of ticks than any other nation on the planet—possibly even the universe.
Bovine specialists, who wish to remain anonymous, have been observing that, given the poor state of nutrition amongst Pakistan’s bovine population, it seems that the ticks have been jumping off entire herds and are now seeking greener pastures. (Not of the green zone variety, thankfully)
Airports, banks, money-changers, embassies, and consulates are finding it difficult to cope with the large numbers of ticks and other parasites which are clogging their networks and operations. It is unclear whether Canada, Australia, and Dubai want the quality of ticks and rats which are trying to breach their shores. Like I said earlier, it’s all very confusing, especially since none of our usual pundits are able, or willing, to shed some light on these issues. I believe it’s because most of the pundits and seers are outside the country and don’t seem to be able to get a street-level view of things on the ground.
Economists are deriding the ticks who are fleeing abroad after having sucked all the blood out of our bovine populations, but, then, what do you expect from a bunch of rent-seeking ticks? They weren’t even of the hardworking variety!
http://thenews.jang.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=144507
Monday, November 03, 2008
by Shakir Husain
Islamabad is under attack yet again, and this time Pakistan’s uber cop, Rehman Malik, seems completely unable to do anything.
According to the BBC “they” have infiltrated even the impregnable green zone. Ladies and Gentlemen, Islamabad has been overrun by wild boars, but before panic sets in rest assured that a campaign to eradicate this menace has been launched by the CDA, and, if we’re really lucky, with the help of foreign assistance.
According to CDA director Raja Mohammad Javed, in remarks to the BBC, “we started the campaign after the boars infiltrated the green zone. Eighteen have been killed in the grounds of the Presidential Palace (sic) alone so far.” It seems that the boars really crossed the line when they crossed the green zone and brought on themselves the wrath of the authorities.
Mr Javed continued with this terrifying tale of duplicity and terror to the BBC: “The population has really boomed and there are many hogs in the prime minister’s residence as well.” Good God, not the PM’s residence as well! According to Mr. Javed’s interview to the BBC crack teams of hunters have been unleashed on the boars and they’re responding to each and every instance of a boar sighting. To add to this concerted effort to uproot the wild boar menace, especially in the “green zone,” special licenses have been issued to concerned local citizens and foreign diplomats who are going after this menace. There isn’t much clarity from the CDA on this entire effort at all. For instance, are the Friends of Pakistan participating in hunting down wild boars in the “green zone”? Which foreign diplomats have been issued these special hunting permits? And will these diplomats be allowed to enter our sacred “green” zone? Have we explored the possibility of allowing drones to track down the boars? I’m amazed that our capable Minister of Information hasn’t briefed the nation on this alarming development.
The citizens want to know if their only national asset—i.e., our leaders—are safe from the menace of these heinous animals. I’m also surprised at Dr Shahid Masood and how he has not put together a special talk show to discuss this alarming development.
While Islamabad battles the wild boar threat, the rest of the country faces one of the largest rat infestations since its inception in 1947. First, these rats invaded the National Assembly and now they’re everywhere. It would be one thing if the rodents were just going about their business, but the reality is that they’re jumping ship and causing massive panic among the population while they’re at it.
The rat problem may pale in comparison to what the innocent residents of the green zone, are facing but it’s impacting the national economy, real estate, and business sentiment across the country. No one seems to know how long the rat infestation will last and when the last of them will have left for different shores. Again, talk show hosts, who are the guardians of knowledge in our society, have failed us in shedding light on this important issue.
While we’re talking about infestations, there also seems to have been a massive surge in the vast number of ticks which have been attacking the animals of this country. The tick, as readers might know, is an extremely dangerous parasite which lives off whichever beast it latches onto. Ticks stay attached to the “host” till they can draw no more nourishment, at which point they detach and move on to the next target. Pakistan, unfortunately, has a higher proportion of ticks than any other nation on the planet—possibly even the universe.
Bovine specialists, who wish to remain anonymous, have been observing that, given the poor state of nutrition amongst Pakistan’s bovine population, it seems that the ticks have been jumping off entire herds and are now seeking greener pastures. (Not of the green zone variety, thankfully)
Airports, banks, money-changers, embassies, and consulates are finding it difficult to cope with the large numbers of ticks and other parasites which are clogging their networks and operations. It is unclear whether Canada, Australia, and Dubai want the quality of ticks and rats which are trying to breach their shores. Like I said earlier, it’s all very confusing, especially since none of our usual pundits are able, or willing, to shed some light on these issues. I believe it’s because most of the pundits and seers are outside the country and don’t seem to be able to get a street-level view of things on the ground.
Economists are deriding the ticks who are fleeing abroad after having sucked all the blood out of our bovine populations, but, then, what do you expect from a bunch of rent-seeking ticks? They weren’t even of the hardworking variety!
http://thenews.jang.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=144507