Deuterium
06-23-2004, 09:38 AM
News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and a
Special Forces soldier were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village
and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of
granting the condemned a last wish. Before we behead you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful
of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left
and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I
can die content."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out
my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about
to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that
I was on the job 'til the end. "The leader directed an aide to hand
over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments.
She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. Green Beret, what is
your final wish?"
"Kick me in the a**," said the Special Forces soldier.
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the a**," insisted
the soldier.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the
a**. The Special Forces soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a .45 pistol from inside his DCUs, and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his
M4 carbine, and methodically placed controlled shots into each of the Insurgents. In a flash, the Insurgents were dead.
As the Green Beret was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick
you in the a**?"
"What!?" said the Special Forces soldier, "And have you liberal a**holes call ME the aggressor?!?"
Special Forces soldier were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village
and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of
granting the condemned a last wish. Before we behead you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful
of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left
and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I
can die content."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out
my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about
to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that
I was on the job 'til the end. "The leader directed an aide to hand
over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments.
She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. Green Beret, what is
your final wish?"
"Kick me in the a**," said the Special Forces soldier.
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the a**," insisted
the soldier.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the
a**. The Special Forces soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a .45 pistol from inside his DCUs, and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his
M4 carbine, and methodically placed controlled shots into each of the Insurgents. In a flash, the Insurgents were dead.
As the Green Beret was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick
you in the a**?"
"What!?" said the Special Forces soldier, "And have you liberal a**holes call ME the aggressor?!?"