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hogdriver
03-10-2009, 04:32 PM
Chuck Norris: I may run for president of Texas

Posted: March 09, 2009
1:00 am Eastern

© 2009

On Glenn Beck's radio show (http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/196/22220/) last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."
That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.
From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

George Washington advised, "The great rule of conduct in regard to foreign nations is in extending our commercial relations [and] having with them as little political connection as possible." Yet the Obama administration just pledged $900 million (http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/130215) in U.S. taxpayer-funded aid to Hamas-controlled Gaza and Mahmoud Abbas' Palestinian Authority. (http://www.*******.com/article/vcCandidateFeed1/idUSL4918183)
Thomas Jefferson counseled us, "We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt." Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance. Despite that George Washington admonished, "To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones," we keep borrowing and bailing, while we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.
Patrick Henry taught that, "Our Constitution is … an instrument for its people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.
John Adams declared that, "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people." Yet we've bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America's religious history (http://www.nationaltreasures.org/) and secularized our society until we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life.
How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And, when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen or will history need to record a second American Revolution? We the people have the authority according to America's Declaration of Independence, which states:

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience has shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.When I appeared on Glenn Beck's radio show (http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/196/22220/), he told me that someone had asked him, "Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?" And he answered, "If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.
It was these types of thoughts that led me to utter the tongue-n-cheek frustration on Glenn Beck's radio show (http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/196/22220/), "I may run for president of Texas!"
I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the Union as its 28th state. From 1836 to 1846, Texas was its own Republic. Washington-on-the-Brazos (river) (http://www.birthplaceoftexas.com/) served as our Philadelphia, Pa. It was there (http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/spdest/findadest/parks/washington_on_the_brazos/), on March 2, 1836, where a band of patriots forged the Texas Declaration of Independence (http://www.tsl.state.tx.us/treasures/republic/declare-01.html). (We just celebrated these dates last week.)

On March 1, 1845, then-President John Tyler signed a congressional bill annexing the Republic of Texas. Though the annexation resolution never explicitly granted Texas the right to secede from the Union (as is often reported), many (including me) hold that it is implied by its unique autonomy (http://www.texassecede.com/Texas%20Secession%20Facts.pdf) and history, as well as the unusual provision (http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texas.asp) in the resolution that gave Texas the right to divide into as many as five states. Both the original (1836) and the current (1876) Texas Constitutions also declare that "All political power is inherent in the people. … they have at all times the inalienable right to alter their government in such manner as they might think proper."
Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America. Let there be no doubt about that. As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."
Just last Friday, the Alamo celebrated its 173rd commemoration (http://www.sanantoniolivinghistory.org/2009%20RTA%20Program%20Schedule.pdf), when on March 6, 1836, Texans under Col. William B. Travis were overcome by the Mexican army after a two-week siege at the Alamo in San Antonio. But they didn't go down without a hell-of-a-fight, as those roughly 145 Texans fought to their dying breaths against more than 2,000 Mexican forces under Gen. Santa Anna. (Casualties in the battle were 189 Texans vs. about 1,600 Mexicans.) They lost that battle, but would provide the inspiration to win the war. Their fighting spirit rallied the new-found republic, and still does to this day. So when you think all is lost in America, remember the Alamo!
For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck (http://www.glennbeck.com/), me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them (http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/21018/)," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. (http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/21018/) My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"
Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."
(Note: Speaking of showdowns, Chuck is also inviting anyone near the Houston area this weekend to see a good example of the raw Texas fighting spirit by joining him and others for the national martial arts event, "Showdown in H-Town (http://www.showdowninhtown.com/).")


http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91103

dindin
03-10-2009, 04:35 PM
:)yu got more fatcs

Behan
03-10-2009, 04:47 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't run for president; president runs from Chuck Norris.

click
03-10-2009, 05:01 PM
Chuck Norris ran for president of Texas, and became dictator of the world.

Van Gogh
03-10-2009, 05:07 PM
i let chuck norris sleep with my mom once. Then when it was over i was pissed at what i had done, but instead of kicking his ass, he kicked mine.

Itachi
03-10-2009, 05:22 PM
chuck doesnt have to run 4 president, he is already president...
of the earth!!

Clayton Gold
03-10-2009, 06:04 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't run for president; president runs from Chuck Norris.

aggh you beat me to it ! p-)

Walter Sobchak
03-10-2009, 06:27 PM
aggh you beat me to it ! p-)

Clayton, if that is your photo on your avatar, you look a lot like my old pal, Terry Funk, an ex-professional 'rassler down here in Texas.

Speaking of Texas, if old Chuck wants to secede, he's got lots of company!

The Dane
03-10-2009, 07:24 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't run for president; president runs from Chuck Norris.

Epic answer .. rofl

commanding
03-10-2009, 08:11 PM
I am glad Chuck, or Mr. Norris as I should call him, mentioned the 173rd anniversary of the fall of the Alamo, last March 6th (4 days ago). It is a special day, for anyone around me, I drive home that history, and what it means. Texans are a strange group. They really don't cotton to a boot on their throat, be it from the feds, or from whatever source.
They are willing to stand up to overwhelming odds and fight, sometimes loosing like at the Alamo, and sometimes kicking butt and taking names, like at the battle of San Jacinto. Texans, have always been fighters and independent minded. Something about the air or water I suppose. The state flower of Texas, the bluebonnet, blooming today, photo made today (3-10)
http://i42.tinypic.com/2rgiefl.jpg

Limeyfellow
03-10-2009, 08:22 PM
The guy is off his rocker. Talking about how it looks like it is going to be needed for groups of right wing militias are ready to rise up in revolution and overthrow the government. Real patriotism that because his candidate loses there a need to go out on a gun raging campaign to wipe out anyone he dislikes.

Walter Sobchak
03-10-2009, 08:24 PM
I am glad Chuck, or Mr. Norris as I should call him, mentioned the 173rd anniversary of the fall of the Alamo, last March 6th (4 days ago). It is a special day, for anyone around me, I drive home that history, and what it means. Texans are a strange group. They really don't cotton to a boot on their throat, be it from the feds, or from whatever source.

They are willing to stand up to overwhelming odds and fight, sometimes loosing like at the Alamo, and sometimes kicking butt and taking names, like at the battle of San Jacinto. Texans, have always been fighters and independent minded. Something about the air or water I suppose. The state flower of Texas, the bluebonnet, blooming today, photo made today (3-10)


A-men, brother!

March 6th! A Texas 'Holy Day", to be sure. Next up, April 21st!

I'd say that the "One riot, one Ranger" story sums us up pretty well, too!


The guy is off his rocker. Talking about how it looks like it is going to be needed for groups of right wing militias are ready to rise up in revolution and overthrow the government. Real patriotism that because his candidate loses there a need to go out on a gun raging campaign to wipe out anyone he dislikes.

You paint with a broad brush, don't you. I hardly think he's serious. However, The Founding Fathers realized that a government which stops serving the people is a tyrannical government.

Maybe you reason that if Texas could leave the US, then Ulster might make the same demand! The only difference is that we have the right!

Chulo
03-10-2009, 10:08 PM
The guy is off his rocker. Talking about how it looks like it is going to be needed for groups of right wing militias are ready to rise up in revolution and overthrow the government. Real patriotism that because his candidate loses there a need to go out on a gun raging campaign to wipe out anyone he dislikes.
The "other side" would do that if they could.. but they be scared of guns.. they kill people

ayanami_tard
03-10-2009, 10:38 PM
as a fellow martial artist and a firm believer/upholder of justice,i wholeheartedly support my fellow,chuck norris to become the benelovent leader of the republic of Texas



/seriously.he is better than any politician

budgie
03-10-2009, 11:28 PM
A Chucktocracy in the making

matthew.manhorn
03-11-2009, 12:38 AM
It's time for Texas to be independent from those pathetic yanks. Texans are always despised by Northerners as rednecks etc

ggk
03-11-2009, 12:46 AM
Chuck Norris MAY run for president of Texas .

Obama set DEFCON 1

wicked_hind
03-11-2009, 12:46 AM
With Chuck Norris as President of Texas, why have nuclear weapons?

MichaelF
03-11-2009, 02:25 AM
On a serious note: I doubt you could take a State out of the Union. Not without decimating it's economy. We are the kind of integrated economy they wish they could build in the EU, and drawing big bold borders where the state lines are....I imagine most interstate businesses would simply pull out or lay off their Texas (or wherever) ops, and stay within the rump Union, at least for the early days.

WarDancer
03-11-2009, 02:35 AM
The guy is off his rocker. Talking about how it looks like it is going to be needed for groups of right wing militias are ready to rise up in revolution and overthrow the government. Real patriotism that because his candidate loses there a need to go out on a gun raging campaign to wipe out anyone he dislikes.

Reading comprehension is lacking.:bash:

Walter Sobchak
03-11-2009, 02:43 AM
On a serious note: I doubt you could take a State out of the Union. Not without decimating it's economy. We are the kind of integrated economy they wish they could build in the EU, and drawing big bold borders where the state lines are....I imagine most interstate businesses would simply pull out or lay off their Texas (or wherever) ops, and stay within the rump Union, at least for the early days.

Nah, we'd join NAFTA. :)

Plus, with Chuck In Charge, we'd all have Total Gyms in our houses and Houston would no longer be Fat City.

wildcat
03-11-2009, 02:55 AM
On a serious note: I doubt you could take a State out of the Union. Not without decimating it's economy. We are the kind of integrated economy they wish they could build in the EU, and drawing big bold borders where the state lines are....I imagine most interstate businesses would simply pull out or lay off their Texas (or wherever) ops, and stay within the rump Union, at least for the early days.
If it came to the point that Texas or any other state wanted to succeed from the union, it would not matter, about the economy, seeing the reason to succeed must out benefit the reason to stay, and my best guess the economy, will be shot long before any state will succeed.

SoSo
03-11-2009, 03:45 AM
Talk of secession is becoming more common as people get angrier at the Federal government for overreaching its authority. The only way to hold the Union together is to return to the states the decision-making authority the architects of the American Revolution meant them to have. Why must every law and policy be dictated to the states by the U.S. Congress or the Supreme Court? Controversial issues like the drinking age, speed limits, marijuana laws, abortion rights, gun laws, gay marriage, etc., should be decided by the states, not by Washington. Otherwise, a significant element of the population will continue to get angrier, believing that the votes they cast have become meaningless and that government has become unaccountable, no longer responding to their wishes.

Mackie
03-11-2009, 03:54 AM
Chuck Norris ran for president of Texas, and became dictator of the world.

Intergalactic Empire of Texas. Cali becomes penal colony.

ren0312
03-11-2009, 04:02 AM
Talk of secession is becoming more common as people get angrier at the Federal government for overreaching its authority. The only way to hold the Union together is to return to the states the decision-making authority the architects of the American Revolution meant them to have. Why must every law and policy be dictated to the states by the U.S. Congress or the Supreme Court? Controversial issues like the drinking age, speed limits, marijuana laws, abortion rights, gun laws, gay marriage, etc., should be decided by the states, not by Washington. Otherwise, a significant element of the population will continue to get angrier, believing that the votes they cast have become meaningless and that government has become unaccountable, no longer responding to their wishes.

If the US had stuck to the original system of state's rights, then the Federal government would have been unable to legally force the Southern states to end segregation in the 1950's, since segragation is not an interstate issue.

click
03-11-2009, 04:18 AM
He'll create the Chuckocratic Party

Dercius
03-11-2009, 07:41 AM
A Chucktocracy in the making

Then i will apply for citizenship. But Im a bit worried about the possible rise of Chukdamentalism in the heart of the Chucktocracy

AlfredoTP
03-11-2009, 08:06 AM
Chuck? For el presidente? Chuck Norris? Viva Texas!!!
I'm in, where do I have to sign?

:)

NeoConPatriot
03-11-2009, 08:19 AM
Glen Beck has voiced a great idea to run Congressional and Senate elections like jury duty. 4 candidates are randomly selected from voter registration roles for each seat making sure each major party for that area has a candidate. Those 4 are each given 1 mil dollars to run their campaigns and cannot use any funds above the 1 mil, public or private. It gets us back to the idea of "public servants". The limited funds and random selection would get rid of the power hungry 20 term kings we have today.

click
03-11-2009, 08:55 AM
Glen Beck has voiced a great idea to run Congressional and Senate elections like jury duty. 4 candidates are randomly selected from voter registration roles for each seat making sure each major party for that area has a candidate. Those 4 are each given 1 mil dollars to run their campaigns and cannot use any funds above the 1 mil, public or private. It gets us back to the idea of "public servants". The limited funds and random selection would get rid of the power hungry 20 term kings we have today.

Hmm interesting concept...

Blue_0
03-11-2009, 08:58 AM
Seccession is foolishness. Civil war 1.0 is still the nastest war we were ever in. We don't need a 2.0.

WCF.KAS
03-11-2009, 12:33 PM
I say let Texas be its own country....then they can recriminalize sodomy and execute all the retarded people they want...

Will Clark
03-11-2009, 01:56 PM
I say let Texas be its own country....then they can recriminalize sodomy and execute all the retarded people they want...

Please, all states had anti-sodomy laws just a few decades ago, that aint coming back independent or not. Won't even address the second part. Texas is almost perfect, legislators are pretty responsible and realistic. Some morality laws remain, but most are gone. We have a huge economy, diverse resources, access to the ocean, etc. Our infrastructure is developed, government is well established; we would be just fine on our own.

I enjoyed my 10 billion dollar budget surplus last year, what'd your state manage?

RxOnco
03-11-2009, 01:57 PM
That Supermodel Rick Perry better get ready to be booted out of office...

http://www.larrykilgore.com/

He's got my vote.

WarDancer
03-11-2009, 02:01 PM
Visited Texas a few times in my life and the one thing that stood out to me was the pride in Texas that was displayed. At least in the areas I visited. Texas is unique and I think should start flexing some quasi-independent muscle from the federal government.

hogdriver
03-11-2009, 02:51 PM
I have 1 simple question; what happens if Texas calls on his independence?

BlackFlag
03-11-2009, 02:53 PM
GW Bush is the life time President of Texas. Chuck can be SECDEF though. I heard he used to be D3lta.

WCF.KAS
03-11-2009, 03:11 PM
Please, all states had anti-sodomy laws just a few decades ago, that aint coming back independent or not. Won't even address the second part. Texas is almost perfect, legislators are pretty responsible and realistic. Some morality laws remain, but most are gone. We have a huge economy, diverse resources, access to the ocean, etc. Our infrastructure is developed, government is well established; we would be just fine on our own.

I enjoyed my 10 billion dollar budget surplus last year, what'd your state manage?

All the more reason you guys should just break off from the union....sounds like you would be better off...

Notlim
03-11-2009, 04:38 PM
Wow and some guys call that Russian guy ''Lunatic'' for Advancing the Idea the US might secede

Guess the Idea still on schedule according to Chuck Norris

Will Clark
03-11-2009, 05:10 PM
All the more reason you guys should just break off from the union....sounds like you would be better off...

You sound bitter, what's the deal?

ayanami_tard
03-11-2009, 11:45 PM
I have 1 simple question; what happens if Texas calls on his independence?

the oil gonna flow to texan own pokcet


and they will be alone fighting mexican drug cartel

Walter Sobchak
03-12-2009, 12:56 AM
That Supermodel Rick Perry better get ready to be booted out of office...

http://www.larrykilgore.com/

He's got my vote.

You don't like Gov. Zoolander? Man, did he drop the Trans Texas Corridor like a hot turd, or what???

Me, I voted for Kinky! (All you non-Texans, that is Kinky Freidman. http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/)

But I like Kilgore, too. I bet that zombie, Carol Keeton Strayhorn Salamander Hootengoober or whatever the hell her name is now, will pop back to the surface.

Walter Sobchak
03-12-2009, 12:59 AM
and they will be alone fighting mexican drug cartel


Yeah, in 3-5 days, it will all be over! Less if the Okies come in on our side. p-)

---------

Honestly, we're just having fun with you yanquis and foreigners, but there are some serious secessionists around here. They keep it under wraps for the most part, but it's nice to have some gin-u-wine crazies that you can go to... just in case!! :roll:

kongman
03-12-2009, 01:06 AM
his plans for world domination are coming to fruition

WarDancer
03-12-2009, 03:17 AM
the oil gonna flow to texan own pokcet


and they will be alone fighting mexican drug cartel

Umm, Texas is alone fighting the illegal alien invasion and the cartels!

RxOnco
03-12-2009, 08:47 AM
Honestly, we're just having fun with you yanquis and foreigners, but there are some serious secessionists around here. They keep it under wraps for the most part, but it's nice to have some gin-u-wine crazies that you can go to... just in case!! :roll:

I'm one of 'em. Now I'm not gonna go kidnap a couple and hold a standoff with the Texas Rangers or plot to kill Clinton like some of the RoT guys, but I'm 100% behind the movement to legally reinstate Texas her right to be on her own. Trust me, there's many more like me. Like you said though, they/we just don't voice our opinions out in the open...yet.

I voted for Kinky too. Zoolander...I got a chuckle out of that.

hogdriver
03-12-2009, 11:23 AM
they/we just don't voice our opinions out in the open...yet.

144 years already p-)

RxOnco
03-12-2009, 12:05 PM
It's taking longer than some of us would like, but it's starting to gain steam. Here's an example:

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/tlodocs/81R/billtext/html/HC00050I.htm

I believe there are nine states who have either passed or introduced legislation intended to reaffirm their soverignty. However, I think Texas is one of a few that may eventually have the will to go the extra mile.

brainplay
03-12-2009, 05:56 PM
Me, I voted for Kinky! (All you non-Texans, that is Kinky Freidman. http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/)


Kinky flip flopped on alot of stuff himself. The "5 Mexican Generals" bribery plan comes to mind. I got sucked into his rhetoric at first. Dropped him like a hot brand shortly afterwards. Not exactly that pleased with pretty boy Perry but at least we wouldn't have had a limp Texas style McCain. Don't think he would have survived long in the Texas legislature. His track record wasn't exactly that of someone with brass cojones.

paracrusader
03-12-2009, 06:05 PM
Republic of Texas - not so far-fetched. Many ordinary citizens would support it if it ever became a real possibility. Spend any time with any group of Texans, and it's bound to come up.

El Diablo Rojo
03-12-2009, 08:36 PM
If Texas seceded and was lead by Norris, I would move there in a heartbeat.

LaoSexMachine
03-12-2009, 08:42 PM
Shyt! I'll run myself. 12 cases and a Mule.

Walter Sobchak
03-12-2009, 10:24 PM
Kinky flip flopped on alot of stuff himself. The "5 Mexican Generals" bribery plan comes to mind. I got sucked into his rhetoric at first. Dropped him like a hot brand shortly afterwards. Not exactly that pleased with pretty boy Perry but at least we wouldn't have had a limp Texas style McCain. Don't think he would have survived long in the Texas legislature. His track record wasn't exactly that of someone with brass cojones.

You know, the funny thing about the Texas governor is that the office doesn't have that much power.

Really, the Lieutenant Governor has more power in that he/she is a member of both the legislative and executive branches. The Lt. Governor is an ex officio member of several important legislative committees.

He/she is the President of the Senate and controls the agenda of the Senate, appoints all committee heads, to both standing and working committees and assigns work to those committees. He/she controls the interpretation of the Senate rules of parliamentary procedure and is not hide bound to following the Senate rules to the letter. He/she is also one of the leaders of the Legislative Budget Board, which is like the US House's "ways and means".

Why is that? I heard from one of my old professors, "back when", that as Texas re-entered the Union after the Great War of Northern Aggression (okay, relax... it's a joke!), the whole carpetbagger / military occupation experience was fresh on everyone's minds. One of the stipulations held that the governor had to take a loyalty oath to the United States, but the Lt. governor did not. Therefore, in order to keep someone whose politics might be in question (a carpetbagger or 'skallawag') from being in charge, they quietly wrote the Texas Constitution to give the Lt. Governor the main power.

ramthor
03-12-2009, 10:50 PM
Umm, Texas is alone fighting the illegal alien invasion and the cartels!Heh. Former Guv "Ma" Richards could have handled that
crap with one hand and baked a pecan pie with the other.

.

Walter Sobchak
03-12-2009, 10:56 PM
Heh. Former Guv "Ma" Richards could have handled that
crap with one hand and baked a pecan pie with the other.

.

I liked ol' Anne. Bless her heart, she had more wrinkles than a waterlogged Sharpey, but she was so comfortable in her own skin. I didn't like her politics, but I loved her as a person. She could sit and talk with Presidents and street people with the same ease.

I miss her wit...

Decadence
03-12-2009, 11:44 PM
Huston...do you have a problem with us now?

Walter Sobchak
03-12-2009, 11:51 PM
Houston...do you have a problem with us now?

Nothing, except maybe spelling. :)

ggk
03-12-2009, 11:57 PM
Nothing, except maybe spelling. :)

nobody spell in space

Decadence
03-13-2009, 12:05 AM
Nothing, except maybe spelling. :)

I swear it's the spell checker :))

Rudolph
03-13-2009, 02:51 AM
If only Chuck knew:
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/9237/n18240.jpg

Walter Sobchak
03-13-2009, 03:22 AM
If only Chuck knew:
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/9237/n18240.jpg

Holy cow! I thought I had the only copy still in existence.

I also have a Sci-Fi book called, "For Zed And Texas", where planet 'Texas' conquers the Evil Galactic Empire (complete with a smarmy Emperor) using its vaunted Darlene Space Rifles... I ain't makin' this stuff up!

How'd we get from Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs, to this?

matthew.manhorn
03-13-2009, 03:48 AM
I would love to move to Texas if it becomes an independent country as a Chinese born in Dallas. I'm worried will the Republic of Texas be a racist country though!

junglejim
03-13-2009, 03:52 AM
I would love to move to Texas if it becomes an independent country as a Chinese born in Dallas. I'm worried will the Republic of Texas be a racist country though!

I would be on the first flight to Texas too, will bring my own rifle and bullets. Though yeah I wonder whats their take on a Filipinowithaspanish bloodwholooksmexicanbuthasanirishsurname.

ggk
03-13-2009, 04:04 AM
as long as you two able to talk 'manly' all will be okay. i learn this from clint eastwood

junglejim
03-13-2009, 04:12 AM
Pray tell how one can speak "manly?"

Dan2004
03-13-2009, 05:20 PM
Apparently Texas' TAG is in hot water.

http://www.txcn.com/sharedcontent/dws/txcn/houston/stories/khou090311_tnt_texas-guard.2792464a.html




Pray tell how one can speak "manly?"

Try to speak in a fravelly voice. Like Clint or Jason Statham. p-)

Walter Sobchak
03-14-2009, 06:30 AM
Pray tell how one can speak "manly?"

Forget Clint Eastwood. Go rent the directors cut... no buy it... of The Wild Bunch. Listen to those guys, especially Ben Johnson and Warren Oats (Lyle and Tector), and you can fit right in.

Also, never say, "yun's" or "you guys". If there are two people, it's "ya'll" and more than two, it's "all ya'll". Never call it a "cowboy hat". It's simply a "hat". That thing with a bill on it is a "cap", or if it's got a logo on it and was free, it's a "gimme cap", and they are legitimate collectibles. If you wear a cap backwards, you should also be wearing shin protectors, chest protector, a catchers mask and definitely a cup, otherwise you just look silly. And take that darn thing off your head when you go inside or are talking to a lady, especially your momma.

The same applies to "cowboy boots"... they're just "boots". The other boots are "ropers" or "work boots". The only reason they're called "work boots" is so your missus will know which boots you are talking about when you say, "Honey, can you look in the closet and get me my work boots, pretty please?" Otherwise, she'll bring you those others. Never tuck your jeans into the top of your boots in a town bigger than about 20-thousand, because only hard-core cowboys and ranchers ever do that, and then only when they're working. In Houston or Fort Worth, it looks plain stupid (in Dallas, it's merely frowned upon).

And never, ever wear a pair of chaps, unless you're working cattle, team penning or riding in a rodeo parade.

When you say a word like "running" or "trying", understand that the "g" is silent.

Always address a lady as ma'am, especially your momma. Fell free to put a "yes" and "no" in front of that when answering. Opening doors for women is still encouraged.

When you make eye contact with another person, it's customary to say, "good morning" or "afternoon", as applicable. West of the 100th Meridian, when you meet another vehicle on a two-lane road, people normally raise two fingers off the steering wheel in greeting, and chances are you know that person in the more sparsely settled counties.

The town where the Alamo is San Antone, unless you're talking to tourists. Mexia is ****ounced Ma-HAY-a. Bogota is ****ounced Bah-GO-ta. The Pedernales River is ****ounced Perd-NAL-as. Don't ask me why. You is ****ounced ya, as in: "Get ya some barbecue".

Oh, and real chili does not have beans, and Terlingua is the Chili Capital of the World, not Cincinnati!

That should get you fellers started. Ya'll come on down, soon as ya can!!

hogdriver
03-14-2009, 06:36 AM
Everbody has seen the series Dallas(with JR). :)