why i hate morning wood

[Jack Mehoff]

I had an extreme case this morning.

Holy ****, it sucks trying to piss with a hard-on. I have to stand five feet away from the damn toilet and bend my peter down at a 45 degree angle in order that your urine lands directly in it. But thanks to this, I've managed to develope quite good eye-hand coordination.

[memphiz]

What time is it in Utah??

[Fintin]

this thread sucks

[mocking_loudly_died]

Lay in bed and beat off then get that weak piss-***** orgasm thing going on.

[Cactuar]

Morning Wood-the main reason I use an alarm clock and tell my mom not to wake me up in the morning. (I sleep on my back)

[memphiz]

Learn to appriciate it wi'll you have it, because in a few years BAM! lil jack wont pop up any more to say hi ;)

[American Patriot]

Who sleeps on their back? It's impossible.

[Cactuar]

Yes you can just put a pillow or two under your knees. That's what I do.

[Colt45]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

[molly747]

Who sleeps on their back? It's impossible.

I do.

[Jack Mehoff]

Who sleeps on their back? It's impossible.

x2

[farmgirl]

Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

[Nawlins]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)

[Ratamacue]

I had an extreme case this morning.

Holy ****, it sucks trying to piss with a hard-on. I have to stand five feet away from the damn toilet and bend my peter down at a 45 degree angle in order that your urine lands directly in it. But thanks to this, I've managed to develope quite good eye-hand coordination.
Couldn't have vented my frustration with it better myself.

[Fintin]

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


i want to say its a john cusak movie...but im not sure

[EvanL]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)
Me myself and Irene.

[farmgirl]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)

come to think of it.... I like wood in general.... I should have been a lumberjack.... ;)

[Nawlins]

You dirty girl.

[farmgirl]

You dirty girl.


What????


















p-)

[Romulus]

Personally, I dig morning wood.

Reason #655590 WE LOVE FARMGIRL!

[Midtown]

haha I love this thread. I used to hate morning wood, till I started waking up with my girlfriends mouth around it, that ****ing rocks. No better way to wake up. But I agree its a bitch to piss after ***, you sit there and are like
DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF ****, JUST DO IT. And I stay pretty hard after orgasm, so pissing is like trying to aim a goddamn RPG, then If you sit down, it goes in the water and your even more pissed off. AHHHHHHH I need to go punch something.

[farmgirl]

Personally, I dig morning wood.

Reason #655590 WE LOVE FARMGIRL!


right on cue, baby... I was wondering what was taking you so long.... ;)

[Romulus]

AHHHHHHH I need to go punch something.

Punch your donkey. That gets rid off wood fast.

[Colt45]

OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS ****!!!

Who are the chix of these forums? I need to know ;).

[Operation Ivy]

I had an extreme case this morning.

Holy ****, it sucks trying to piss with a hard-on. I have to stand five feet away from the damn toilet and bend my peter down at a 45 degree angle in order that your urine lands directly in it. But thanks to this, I've managed to develope quite good eye-hand coordination.

Hate it when that happens, sometimes it stings owww :|

[memphiz]

Morning wood sucks when you have a weight bench in your room and you walk into it or a wall

[farmgirl]

OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS ****!!!

Who are the chix of these forums? I need to know ;).


farmgirl
nawlins
mollly747
mainefinn
ria
hot lips
moog

I'm forgetting someone... I know I am....

[memphiz]

OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS ****!!!

Who are the chix of these forums? I need to know ;).


farmgirl
nawlins
mollly747
mainefinn
ria
hot lips
moog

I'm forgetting someone... I know I am....
Iron heart??
Rain

[Romulus]

I'm forgetting someone... I know I am....

OB and Truthsayer......

[Colt45]

Okay now all we need are **** pics from all of these so called 'women'. Just purely for us knowing solely that yall are truly women =P. YALL UP FOR IT =D!?

[farmgirl]

OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS ****!!!

Who are the chix of these forums? I need to know ;).


farmgirl
nawlins
mollly747
mainefinn
ria
hot lips
moog

I'm forgetting someone... I know I am....
Iron heart??
Rain


Damn!!! I"m sorry, Rain... I knew I was forgetting someone that was here a lot. I'll forgive myself for IronHeart, because she hasn't been around in awhile. Speaking of her... she should be back soon... at least for a visit... :D

[Vance]

This thread makes me rofl , cause it's all true.

[Fintin]

my question is...how did we go from talking about morning wood...to who the females on the board are... ;)

[farmgirl]

Okay now all we need are **** pics from all of these so called 'women'. Just purely for us knowing solely that yall are truly women =P. YALL UP FOR IT =D!?


um... how about... no? p-)

[Jack Mehoff]

Okay now all we need are **** pics from all of these so called 'women'. Just purely for us knowing solely that yall are truly women =P. YALL UP FOR IT =D!?

I'm pretty sure molly747 is a chick. As for farmgirl, i'm not sure p-)

[UkrainianAmerican]

why are you bothered with morning wood?
Can you just hold your piss until its gone?
O, and big deal if you miss. Lets the bi.....girl clean up.

[Rain]

OKAY LETS SETTLE THIS ****!!!

Who are the chix of these forums? I need to know ;).


farmgirl
nawlins
mollly747
mainefinn
ria
hot lips
moog

I'm forgetting someone... I know I am....
Iron heart??
Rain


Damn!!! I"m sorry, Rain... I knew I was forgetting someone that was here a lot. I'll forgive myself for IronHeart, because she hasn't been around in awhile. Speaking of her... she should be back soon... at least for a visit... :D

No worries Farmgirl.. You remembered. woot

[Colt45]

Okay now all we need are **** pics from all of these so called 'women'. Just purely for us knowing solely that yall are truly women =P. YALL UP FOR IT =D!?


um... how about... no? p-)

Oh, I see how it is =(, keeping all the fun to yourself!!!

[farmgirl]

Okay now all we need are **** pics from all of these so called 'women'. Just purely for us knowing solely that yall are truly women =P. YALL UP FOR IT =D!?

I'm pretty sure molly747 is a chick. As for farmgirl, i'm not sure p-)


ohhh sure, jack... pretend like I didn't send you those bikini pics... ;)

[Colt45]

well, even though 'farmgirl' sounds intriguing... I just hope you aint one of them freaky ass 'beastial' chix :oops:

[dhfactory]

You guys are all lucky, I wet my bed sit.
I have worse problems :cantbeli:

-Sean

[Rain]

What is
"freaky ass 'beastial' chix"??

[Colt45]

LoL your avatar reminds me of a jewish 'muscle man'.

[Colt45]

What is
"freaky ass 'beastial' chix"??

one of them wierd ass girls that has to much fun with farm animals... comprende?

[UkrainianAmerican]

LoL your avatar reminds me of a jewish 'muscle man'.
Link. Now.

[Colt45]

huh?

[Rain]

What is
"freaky ass 'beastial' chix"??

one of them wierd ass girls that has to much fun with farm animals... comprende?

Rgr :|

[farmgirl]

What is
"freaky ass 'beastial' chix"??

one of them wierd ass girls that has to much fun with farm animals... comprende?



ewwwww..... nope.... never once had the desire to have too much fun with farm animals....

[Colt45]

LoL, if you hang out with guys like jack, russian, and me... You will hear about all kinds of wierd ass **** =P

[Colt45]

LoL, if you hang out with guys like jack, russian, and me... You will hear about all kinds of wierd ass **** =P

[Midtown]

wtf is a moog?

[ZeroPositive]

Morning wood is bad... but stops me rolling outta my bed :D

[Nawlins]

Morning wood is bad... but stops me rolling outta my bed :D

Haha... Like a kickstand?

[NcDeuce]

Morning wood rofl

Your testosterone level is actually highest in the morning so if you have problems having kids... :lol:

[Lysander]

Morning wood is bad... but stops me rolling outta my bed :D

Haha... Like a kickstand?

kickstand...rofl

[Colt45]

Oh! I just thought of the worst type of wood. The ones you get in a gym full of people, with those stretch shorts. OMFG that sux. LoL I remember one time I was doing the bench with my flagstaff pointing up in all its glory :lol:

[Operation Ivy]

Morning wood is bad... but stops me rolling outta my bed :D

Ill give ya credit for that one :D

[Vance]

Oh! I just thought of the worst type of wood. The ones you get in a gym full of people, with those stretch shorts. OMFG that sux. LoL I remember one time I was doing the bench with my flagstaff pointing up in all its glory :lol:
Or when you're in the middle of class sitting down and you get one, then the teacher calls you to her desk...it's happened to me before :oops:

[Jack Mehoff]

Oh! I just thought of the worst type of wood. The ones you get in a gym full of people, with those stretch shorts. OMFG that sux. LoL I remember one time I was doing the bench with my flagstaff pointing up in all its glory :lol:
Or when you're in the middle of class sitting down and you get one, then the teacher calls you to her desk...it's happened to me before :oops:

It happened to everybody, noob. This is where the walking like a hunchback and hands in your pocket come to help.

[memphiz]

Oh! I just thought of the worst type of wood. The ones you get in a gym full of people, with those stretch shorts. OMFG that sux. LoL I remember one time I was doing the bench with my flagstaff pointing up in all its glory :lol:
Or when you're in the middle of class sitting down and you get one, then the teacher calls you to her desk...it's happened to me before :oops:

It happened to everybody, noob. This is where the walking like a hunchback and hands in your pocket come to help.
Or you say "F**k that ****" and stay seated

[ibstolidude]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)
"me, myself & Nawlins"?

[Seoulstriker]

Midtown, you're hilarious. :lol:

[Fargin]

Morning wood taking a piss?

Just do a handstand and make sure you don't piss yourself up the nose.

[Colt45]

Oh! I just thought of the worst type of wood. The ones you get in a gym full of people, with those stretch shorts. OMFG that sux. LoL I remember one time I was doing the bench with my flagstaff pointing up in all its glory :lol:
Or when you're in the middle of class sitting down and you get one, then the teacher calls you to her desk...it's happened to me before :oops:

I know man!!! That **** sux, they need to make an invention. hmmmm.... OOOOO i got 1!!! DUCT TAPE!!!

[Midtown]

Midtown, you're hilarious. :lol:

**** your talking to the guy who took a bet that he wouldnt go to the mall in sweatpants after popping 2 viagra. I got some really slutty girls number from that shinanagin, but I got kicked out of the mall for having a hardon. My friend has it all on video somewhere, I'll try to find it, Its pretty funny, Im walking around this busy ass mall trying to knock **** over with my ****. Ohhhhhh what fun being stoned and willing to do anything for a good laugh is. If any of you can beat that hardon story, then ill be impressed. Because I have another one that tops this.

[Romulus]

If any of you can beat that hardon story

rofl rofl

[Colt45]

find that **** and post it!!

[Nawlins]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)
"me, myself & Nawlins"?

Stoli wins!!

:hug:

[Bombtrack]

Midtown, you're hilarious. :lol:

**** your talking to the guy who took a bet that he wouldnt go to the mall in sweatpants after popping 2 viagra. I got some really slutty girls number from that shinanagin, but I got kicked out of the mall for having a hardon. My friend has it all on video somewhere, I'll try to find it, Its pretty funny, Im walking around this busy ass mall trying to knock **** over with my ****. Ohhhhhh what fun being stoned and willing to do anything for a good laugh is. If any of you can beat that hardon story, then ill be impressed. Because I have another one that tops this.

Back when I worked at wendys (nice avatar btw), my buddy frank came in, with a cumcumber taped to his leg, wearing tight longjohns over top. He started walking around knocking things over with it, and people were laughing and covering their kid's eyes. However he wanted more laughs so when he left he started humping and smacking the window with his "****". It was quite the funny shift. But I guess since it wasnt his actual schlong you win. Whats the other story?

PS - Colt45 needs a heavy dose of ritalin

[wulfstan]

http://forumspam.articblue.nl/user_related/fag/images/0158.jpg

[A Soldier]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)

[Fintin]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)

go the feck away you little ****...why the feck did you say what you did?

[EvanL]

LoL, this is disgusting and offending to some...


PLEASE REFRAIN IF YOU HAVE A FRAGILE MIND...

Well, you ever squirt (excrete is the proper term =P) and not get it all out? Then afterwards trying to piss and you have to do a damn handstand so your piss doesnt shoot in like 4 different directions? Okay, that was wierd...

Hahahahahaha....

"Why am I pissing like I had *** all night?"

You get ten points if you can name that movie.


Personally, I dig morning wood.... from what I remember.... it's kinda foggy though.... just sayin'....

Yeah, me too. ;)
"me, myself & Nawlins"?

Stoli wins!!

:hug:
Thats not fair.. I answered right way back at the start and got no recognition. I feel so cheated. :(

[Nawlins]

"me, myself & Nawlins"?


Stoli wins!!

:hug:
Thats not fair.. I answered right way back at the start and got no recognition. I feel so cheated. :(

Really? I must not have seen that post... sorry dude.

[Vance]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)

go the feck away you little ****...why the feck did you say what you did?
Feckin' feck.

[memphiz]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)
F**k you, what did she ever do to you? seriosuly What the F**K. Ooo your username says 'a soldier' thats a load of **** what are you in kub scouts? If you were a real soldier you would have some respect, People like you deserve to die. Go eat ****

[Vance]

:roll:

[Fargin]

Speaking of hating wood in da mornin':

Don't!

You're gonna miss it lika mohafukka when it's gone.

[A Soldier]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)
F**k you, what did she ever do to you? seriosuly What the F**K. Ooo your username says 'a soldier' thats a load of **** what are you in kub scouts? If you were a real soldier you would have some respect, People like you deserve to die. Go eat ****
Ok well I guess I will go eat **** and die, respect........ yes I have that for those who have respect for themselves. As for people in Cub Scouts well what they do is up to them, don't try and dishonor little kids, son don't bark at those who defend what you abuse.

[Fintin]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)
F**k you, what did she ever do to you? seriosuly What the F**K. Ooo your username says 'a soldier' thats a load of **** what are you in kub scouts? If you were a real soldier you would have some respect, People like you deserve to die. Go eat ****
Ok well I guess I will go eat **** and die, respect........ yes I have that for those who have respect for themselves. As for people in Cub Scouts well what they do is up to them, don't try and dishonor little kids, son don't bark at those who defend what you abuse.


with all due respect...if you did defended my freedom...i dont want it...i would rather be a slave...then have some self-centered...callous...halfwit...defend it...

[A Soldier]

Hey your right :lol:

[memphiz]

Mainefinn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)
F**k you, what did she ever do to you? seriosuly What the F**K. Ooo your username says 'a soldier' thats a load of **** what are you in kub scouts? If you were a real soldier you would have some respect, People like you deserve to die. Go eat ****
Ok well I guess I will go eat **** and die, respect........ yes I have that for those who have respect for themselves. As for people in Cub Scouts well what they do is up to them, don't try and dishonor little kids, son don't bark at those who defend what you abuse.
Well Im glad I live in Canada so I dont have a retard like you defendig my freedom.F**k You

[A Soldier]

HAHA WOW woot

[Fintin]

HAHA WOW woot

are you still here...i thought you would be busy hiding in other peoples shadows...thats what you are right...a shadow warrior...acting like the **** cause people you know know people...just tell me this...why did you say what you did?

[A Soldier]

Well to tell your waiting for your post count go up hardcore ass the truth, you don't know what a joke is, for further reference a joke is usually followed with ;) ;) or rofl or woot . When you see one of these re-read what was written and either laugh or ignore. As for this shadow warrior crap, well thats is what it is CRAP. Look in the mirror you tool. ;) oh wait I wasn't joking there.

[Vance]

Don't try soldier, they only know jokes when they dish one out.

[Nawlins]

Well to tell your waiting for your post count go up hardcore ass the truth, you don't know what a joke is, for further reference a joke is usually followed with ;) ;) or rofl or woot . When you see one of these re-read what was written and either laugh or ignore. As for this shadow warrior crap, well thats is what it is CRAP. Look in the mirror you tool. ;) oh wait I wasn't joking there.

Give me a break. I don't care if you put a damn smiley after it, what you said about MaineFinn was unkind and disrespectful, and if you have a brain you probably knew that everyone was going to get pissed about it, so don't pretend you're all innocent. Your "joke" wasn't funny.

[Maine Finn]

Well to tell your waiting for your post count go up hardcore ass the truth, you don't know what a joke is, for further reference a joke is usually followed with ;) ;) or rofl or woot . When you see one of these re-read what was written and either laugh or ignore. As for this shadow warrior crap, well thats is what it is CRAP. Look in the mirror you tool. ;) oh wait I wasn't joking there.

Give me a break. I don't care if you put a damn smiley after it, what you said about MaineFinn was unkind and disrespectful, and if you have a brain you probably knew that everyone was going to get pissed about it, so don't pretend you're all innocent. Your "joke" wasn't funny.

Whoa, what?!

Did I miss something? Did some ignorant little boy start talking?

*goes back to read the whole thread*

[Maine Finn]

Maine Finn doesnt count as a female, from what I understand she is caught between her tazer and pepperspray wondering if her chode will grow. ;)

Care to share how you know this?

First of all, I don't own nor have I ever used a "tazer", the same for pepperspray. I don't own but have ready access to a small arsenal of firearms, and have had the opportunity many times to go shooting at the local police range. There is also a State Police-issue impact weapon (otherwise known as a riot baton) in my immediate possession, not counting the edged weapons that I own and carry with me everywhere.

Secondly, if you are so shallow as to make tasteless and snide comments about someone who is not even around to defend herself/himself, you are sadly in need of some additional intelligence. In my experience, only those who lack a spine act in such a manner.

Thanks for the defence, guys and girls.

~Emily

[Chuckie]

Geeze I have some catching up to do, the topic started off with Hard-ons and is now onto Tazers.....

[percell_086]

i bet you can bring your wood down with a taser :D

ps: a soldier shut the f*** up about people you don't know and are dangerous!

Percell

[A Soldier]

Flame on bitches rofl

[Herrmannek]

Flame on bitches rofl

You are first man on my "ban list", be carefull I watchin ya....

[Fintin]

Flame on bitches rofl

your confusing

[perdurabo]

this A soldier is A fag
hurt our girls and we will hurt you :bash: :bash: :bash: :bash: :fork: :fork:

[Maine Finn]

this A soldier is A fag
hurt our girls and we will hurt you :bash: :bash: :bash: :bash: :fork: :fork:

He can just bring it, if he thinks he can. I'll be more than happy to "bump" into him down in the Arts District, which is where I work, or even in the Old Port.

[Herrmannek]

this A soldier is A fag
hurt our girls and we will hurt you :bash: :bash: :bash: :bash: :fork: :fork:

He can just bring it, if he thinks he can. I'll be more than happy to "bump" into him down in the Arts District, which is where I work, or even in the Old Port.
If that is setled :)
Lets back to meritum. Can you post towell pics with you on them :) ??

[Maine Finn]

He can just bring it, if he thinks he can. I'll be more than happy to "bump" into him down in the Arts District, which is where I work, or even in the Old Port.
If that is setled :)
Lets back to meritum. Can you post towell pics with you on them :) ??

Well, I believe if you would simply click http://upload.serverseed.com/pictars3/DSC03017.JPG, you would be satisfied.

[Herrmannek]

He can just bring it, if he thinks he can. I'll be more than happy to "bump" into him down in the Arts District, which is where I work, or even in the Old Port.
If that is setled :)
Lets back to meritum. Can you post towell pics with you on them :) ??

Well, I believe if you would simply click http://upload.serverseed.com/pictars3/DSC03017.JPG, you would be satisfied.

Damn you cheated again :)... Next time it will not go soe easiliy emily:)

[Maine Finn]

Damn you cheated again :)... Next time it will not go soe easiliy emily:)

I didn't cheat... those are towels, and that's me... how is that cheating? :D

[Midtown]

I have a red pen on my desk, Should I throw it over the wall to my

-front
-left
-right
-Hit someone walking by

[Herrmannek]

Damn you cheated again :)... Next time it will not go soe easiliy emily:)

I didn't cheat... those are towels, and that's me... how is that cheating? :D

You know my expectations were slightly different :)

[Vance]

I have a red pen on my desk, Should I throw it over the wall to my

-front
-left
-right
-Hit someone walking by
Choice #4

[Beowulf]

I have a red pen on my desk, Should I throw it over the wall to my

-front
-left
-right
-Hit someone walking by

sweet! A text based RPG...no wait..not sweet.