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Jack Mehoff
07-23-2004, 11:11 PM
40 Things Never Said By Southerners

my friend sent me this in an email....

have a nice time yall!!lol

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight

Bulkowski
07-24-2004, 12:17 AM
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
Only one I sorta disagree on, people drink Heineken here... then again they also drink Bush and Budweiser :|

Jack Mehoff
07-24-2004, 12:21 AM
So everything above are true except #36 :| ? Oh man, I live in Utah for too long.

NcDeuce
07-24-2004, 01:31 AM
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
Only one I sorta disagree on, people drink Heineken here... then again they also drink Bush and Budweiser :|

Busch ;)


Heineken

Gross! I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't sell as near as much as the Natural family down here.

Mark Sman
07-24-2004, 02:28 AM
Ah, Natty light.

Part of me cringes, part of me smiles and part of me can't remember why.

Nawlins
07-24-2004, 03:06 AM
Ah, Natty light.

Part of me cringes, part of me smiles and part of me can't remember why.

The beer of choice for college freshmen everywhere....

shorty
07-24-2004, 03:09 AM
24. Who's Richard Petty?
So fawking true it's not even funny..... :cantbeli:

Romulus
07-24-2004, 05:43 PM
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

I'll slap the taste out of any "true" southerners mouth for saying that!


11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

Heh, my buddies laughed at me because I had some of this in the fridge. Wife loves the stuff and hell, I even drink a few when we run out of grape juice.

Scrim
07-24-2004, 06:27 PM
Ah, Natty light.

Part of me cringes, part of me smiles and part of me can't remember why.

The beer of choice for college freshmen everywhere....

I thought it was Boones Farm. What?

WolverineBlue
07-24-2004, 09:30 PM
24. Who's Richard Petty?
So fawking true it's not even funny..... :cantbeli:

I was visiting my girlfriend in North Carolina near Charlotte one time (NASCAR mecca, by the way) and this little boy was convinced I was Richard Petty for some reason. I look nothing like the man, by the way, but I ran with it. The kid idolized me, even without the black cowboy hat.

WolverineBlue
07-24-2004, 09:32 PM
Boone's Farm is what we shoplifted from Stop-n-Rob after a night of drinking...petty larceny is so fun.

Seoulstriker
07-24-2004, 09:33 PM
24. Who's Richard Petty?
So fawking true it's not even funny..... :cantbeli:

I was visiting my girlfriend in North Carolina near Charlotte one time (NASCAR mecca, by the way) and this little boy was convinced I was Richard Petty for some reason. I look nothing like the man, by the way, but I ran with it. The kid idolized me, even without the black cowboy hat.

Hahaha. The king. That guy ruled.

usa320
07-24-2004, 10:13 PM
Boone's Farm is what we shoplifted from Stop-n-Rob after a night of drinking...petty larceny is so fun.


It aint fun at my store...

Ive got a 6-0 tackle record with shoplifters since the start of this year...

Nawlins
07-24-2004, 10:17 PM
Ah, Natty light.

Part of me cringes, part of me smiles and part of me can't remember why.

The beer of choice for college freshmen everywhere....

I thought it was Boones Farm. What?

I didn't think Boones Farm was beer. More like poison.

Ratamacue
07-24-2004, 10:56 PM
I didn't think Boones Farm was beer. More like poison.
You could probably say the same for Busch. There's only one thing that'll give me a vicious hangover, and that's cheap beer.

HumanShield
07-25-2004, 12:00 AM
#41: Vote Lincoln!

Vance
07-25-2004, 12:10 AM
24. Who's Richard Petty?
So fawking true it's not even funny..... :cantbeli:
I don't even like NASCAR (Non-Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks) and I know who that is. ;)

HumanShield
07-25-2004, 12:14 AM
#24 1/2: Whos Dale? and Dale Jr.?