Psychos and nutters.

[Scrim]

Ive been in several different units/MOSs, seems we always had a guy whos name was Psycho. From tickling the sleeping COs nose with a K-Bar on a piece of string, to beating unexploded ordanance with an E-tool. We've all had them, I think Martin is one ;) , how about some stories.

[Royal]

Many years ago when I was a young Marine we went adventure training in Scotland. The troopie at the time was a Rhodesian (who'd served in the RLI) and he was running an abseil stand.

Mark was a PTI (he was also black, 6'3" and a Navy boxer) and the first one down. The troopie leaned over and looked down, "that's what I like to see, a spook (n****r) on the end of a rope". Needless to say Mark was up almost as quickly as he'd gone down. They beat 7 shades of ****e out of each other for about 5 minutes, before the CSM split them up. Strangley they became the best of oppo's for years afterwards.

[Scrim]

We were in 29 Palms CA, in an Artillery position, about 10ft away from our humvee we found what appeared to be a half buried unexploded shell. We marked it and notified range control. We were in the pos for a couple of days, and it became a real pain in the ass to tiptoe around this dam thing every time we went for a piss or something. We had this absolutely insane Captain, he had an un****ouncable Scottish last name so he was Capt.Mac his hair was way too long and he wore thick Coke bottle glasses. He was always fiddling around with the camo nets, he loved putting those dam nets up. One evening he was outside messing with the nets, when we heard a string of screamed obsenities, we looked outside and there was Capt.Mac his legs spread standing over the shell just beating the crap out of it with an entrenching tool, screaming obsenities at the poor shell. Luckily for us it turned out to just be a tail-fin from some missile or something, none the less we steared well clear of Capt. Mac after that.

[Lancer]

We returned to our barracks one evening to find that the Military Police had 'turned the place over' looking for some herbal substances. Our indignation died down when we heard that they had arrested one of the guys, not for drugs but for having unexploded ordnance in his locker. Turns out we had been sharing a room with an armed 2.75" FFAR that he had found on the range!

[James]

In 1995 my company was a part of a small task force that was deployed to Qatar for a readiness excercise. When we had finished our training and were geting ready to return to the States, we were given our brief about customs and what we were allowed to take home. One of the forbidden items was any part of an animal (i.e. bones). We were given an amnesty period, and then a random check was carried out. Lo and behold, one of the Marines suddenly remembered that he had put a camel's skull in his sea bag! He had to do a fair amount of pushups to pay for that. A few months later, the same kid was busted and kicked out for getting stoned out of his mind in Tiujana one weekend.

He was a rock.

[James]

I remembered another one...

While attending SOI in 1994, a young Marine found himself with a couple of unused pop-up flares one day after we had finished some part of our training. He was going home to Arizona for liberty that weekend - a quick flight from San Diego. Wouldn't it be neat to take the flares home and show his old friends how they worked? He thought so, but the airport security people did not. Needless to say, he didn't make it home that weekend.

[Ichhabe]

A friend of mine came home from Lebanon. In his luggage he had this giga huge ghetto blaster that he had bought for a cheap prize down there. He also brought home a special Lebanon-souvernire. A gigantic black scorpion. He thought it would be quite cool to get this little rascal home, since Norway does'nt have these little critters in it's habitat.
Anyway, he came home. Barely saying hello to his family cause he was eager to meet up with his friends. He just left the luggage at home and went out.
The only problem was that he had a curious kid brother that was quite fascinated by that ghetto blaster. So as every kid would do, given a chance; he started to examine that object.
After a good inspection outside, the time came for having a lookie inside. He opened it up where the batteries were supposed to be. To him and the rest of the familys surprise the little critter that was stored inside found its opurtunity to wander off. They all of course panicked and jumped for chairs and couches as the little bugger who just followed it's natural insticts runned for the shadow, under a coach.
2 hours later my friend came home, and when he saw them standing in the furniture, he just knew what happened. Needless to say that some harsh language were exchange between father and soldier son.
What they did not know was that a sting from that scorpion could be compared to a wasps. But this scorpion was about 12-14 cm. long, and who cares in a situation like that. Anyway, after 1 1/2 hours they finally could walk the floor after he took care of it...

[martinexsquaddie]

germany exercise potent Gaunlet. Sitting in a trench facing an armoured attack Platoon commander hands me some rocket flares use them to simulate 66s Fair enough :roll: Take Aim at the lead challenger and let fly
flare slams into tank imperssive explosions Umpires goes berserk as the rest of the platoon Follow suite :o Armoured battle group retreats 2nd Umpire was an Argyl and Southern Highlander who loved it as the Light infantry were in the 432s :lol:

[Argyll]

Can You remember the Argylls name,I may know him!?

[martinexsquaddie]

nope some sgt when the 2nd attack came in and degenerated into a Brawl as usual I remember him leaping up and down on top of a 432 encouraging the rifle butting of Jackets :lol:
That exercise he accompanied us on an unauthorised Fighting Patrol as after two days sitting in trenches we were bored and our platoon commander decided it was time to shoot something as the big attack was'nt scheleduled till friday.
So Off we go about 4 k later we come across a unit of Leopards Laarged up with a bonfire in the middle. They probably had nothing to do with the exercise but what the hell. in Go shermulys miniflares about a dozen thunder flashes and loads of blanks. Germans get there Tanks started as we realize we have just pissed off an armoured unit and we are on foot. :(
Never mind a cpl decides to cover our retreat with a smoke grendade throws it nice and high as a leopard bears down on it grenade drops straight down an open hatch you tried to do that on purpose you'd never do it. Orange smoke pours out of leopard as do pissed off german tankers :lol: Behind the leo was a Fuchs Armoured enormous 8 wheeled thing decides its time for a few exercise Casulities Fortuntaly at this point a german householder opens his frontdoor to find out whats going on and the entire section run through his house to escape. :D result no more fighting patrols for awhile.