Sayeret
08-25-2004, 12:47 AM
I am John Kerry.
I was against the first Iraq war, I am against the second Iraq war, but I
voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support the UN. I'm
against terrorism and against the Iraq war. But I voted for the Iraq war.
So, I voted against the first war and supported the second war, wait...
I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but think the
San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages. No, wait, gay
unions.
I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised
Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people.
I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are pro-life. But
I might consider putting pro-life judges in office, but I'm not sure. I do
know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I stated that it was a
mistake.
I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against fellow US
troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to do the same But I
am a war hero. Against the war.
I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I then
revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals,then lately I
stated
that I threw someone else's medals away and never threw anything of mine
away.
I believe Ribbons and medals aren't the same thing. Medals come with
ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same thing
besides
the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are medal.
I wrote a book that pictured the US flag upside-down on its cover. But now
I
fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side up on it. But
sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.
Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't kill
Palestinian terrorists, but they should stop terrorism. Yasser Arafat is a
terrorist supporter. I support Mideast peace.
I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my family
is worth 300 million dollars has a jet and many SUVs. I am the common man.
I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir, which Heinz
has most factories offshore, to be exact she has 37 overseas. I am against
rewarding companies for exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.
I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by driving
small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I own part of
Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate America.
I own SUVs when I talk to my followers in Detroit, MI. Teresa owns SUVs. I
don't, when I talk to tree hugging followers. I have a campaign jet that
gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.
I am against making military service an issue in presidential elections. I
defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all serve in their own
capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I mention, I served in
Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my patriotism? I served in
Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three purple hearts! I am a hero. I
am qualified to run this country since I served.
I am John Kerry.
I was against the first Iraq war, I am against the second Iraq war, but I
voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support the UN. I'm
against terrorism and against the Iraq war. But I voted for the Iraq war.
So, I voted against the first war and supported the second war, wait...
I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but think the
San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages. No, wait, gay
unions.
I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised
Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people.
I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are pro-life. But
I might consider putting pro-life judges in office, but I'm not sure. I do
know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I stated that it was a
mistake.
I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against fellow US
troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to do the same But I
am a war hero. Against the war.
I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I then
revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals,then lately I
stated
that I threw someone else's medals away and never threw anything of mine
away.
I believe Ribbons and medals aren't the same thing. Medals come with
ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same thing
besides
the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are medal.
I wrote a book that pictured the US flag upside-down on its cover. But now
I
fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side up on it. But
sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.
Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't kill
Palestinian terrorists, but they should stop terrorism. Yasser Arafat is a
terrorist supporter. I support Mideast peace.
I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my family
is worth 300 million dollars has a jet and many SUVs. I am the common man.
I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir, which Heinz
has most factories offshore, to be exact she has 37 overseas. I am against
rewarding companies for exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.
I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by driving
small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I own part of
Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate America.
I own SUVs when I talk to my followers in Detroit, MI. Teresa owns SUVs. I
don't, when I talk to tree hugging followers. I have a campaign jet that
gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.
I am against making military service an issue in presidential elections. I
defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all serve in their own
capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I mention, I served in
Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my patriotism? I served in
Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three purple hearts! I am a hero. I
am qualified to run this country since I served.
I am John Kerry.