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View Full Version : A Republican View of the War



obd
01-04-2005, 04:44 AM
Well, as much as I have attacked the war in the past I though for ounce I would try to think like my political rivals in order to better understand where they are coming from and how they view history and the world we live in today. Here is the product of that attempt.

Disclaimer: The views held in the following are protected under article 7, paragraph 3 of the Patriot Act and any removal of the following views and/or opinions can result in a maximum penalty of 10 years in Guantanomo next to a hairy unshaven skinny dude in a orange jump suit who's skin smells like Tabooli and/or $ 500 million in fines payable by check or money order to Haliburton.


So lets see......here goes not.....no.....nuthin

Them there darn terrorists are nuthin!! We whupped up on some Viet-nah.meez, we whupped up on some Japs and some Nazi' and hell, we even whupped up on ourselves and still kept a ticken! There aint no 2 hunderd thousan o them there camel jockeys. There's more like 500 of the bastards. They wont last long. Its at home where this war is a gonna be lost, not over there. We justa need to have faith in our great leader the KK.....er I mean Bush. He's a smartun yes sir-e-bob he is!! Why just the other day I heard him talking about a country I never even dun heard of. It started with a P.........Perkestan!!! Yeah thats it. Bunch Muslums over there that like us so much thier leader is best friends with Bush and they is a nuclear bunch of Muslums too!!! Its a good thing Bush is such a good freind to 'em all er else we'd a be in a heck of trouble yes sir-e-bob. Let me tell you, ifen you dont support this here war you is a traitor!! Plain and simple yes it is. You gotta support yer leader and his war no matter what. Its just the Ameriken thing ta do!!! I swear, sometimes I dont understand people. I mean war is a good thing. Our young boys getting to go off and shoot **** and blow it up and stuff and kill people who aint like us........how can you be against it?? Well I just dont know! You know, all them Army War College, CIA, DIA, Janes Information Group, and them darn Democrats (fricken commies!)....well they dont know a damn thing. I mean, freedom dont bread terrorists. We gots ta give 'em freedom!!! Free countries dont create terrorists......I mean just look at American history. Why we is a free ****ry and we never killed not one single civilian on prupose and we never launched an attack on a country unprovocked. NEVER!!!! We is hero's. Leaders of the free world. All we do is give to other ****ries. We never take. They hate us too and fer whut? Because we is better than they is. Thats why. They just jealous. I tell you a little secret Billy.....now listen up and dont tell nobody ya hear: ok here it is: It aint even the Muslums or the Jews thats uhtakkin us anyways: We is being attacked because we aint Christian enough. Its them damn blacks and them damn women getting all free on us white boys. We need to reign 'em in. Its just uncivilized fer a women ta be workin outside the home. A woman just cant deal with what a man can........but hey waite Im a getting off topic on ya Billy. Plain and simple: We wuz attacked and now we gotta kill people. Now it dont rightly matter who we kill. We just gotsta kill somebody to prove.....well to prove that you just dont attack freedom. Now I know president Bush is allowing the FBI and such to spy on us....but darnit there is terrorists and black folk all around us trying to kill us now ya hear. Sometimes you gotta destroy freedom to protect it. Do ya hear? Sometimes security is more important than freedom. Dont ya know. The government is always right....waite did I just say that? Oh now I know what I meant to say: Ya always support your nation as long as its being led by a man of Jesus like Bush. I got faith in the man. He's just plian good hearted ya hear. All this stuff about him given our money to the rich, lyin and stuff about the war, and stealin from out troops.......well I just refuse to believe a ,man of jesus like that wouldnt do somethin of that evil nature ya hear me boy? Yes sir. Have faith in yer leader........but only if he tells you he has faith in god. If he dont say Jesus, well then you attack him any chance ya get ok? Well sheet Im a getting off topic again now ernt I? Iraq. right. Well, Iraq is a war for freedom Billy and you gotsta be proud your a fighten it. If you die over there its for freedom. Its not for Haliburton or for Bush's re-election and we damn sure aint trying to control thier darn oil neither!!! We is trying to spread freedom which the good lord wants us to spread as far as we possibly can......Just ignore what we been doing to south America since the civil war........just ignore all that. Ignore what we did to the Vietnamese people. They wasnt ready for freedom. Its a funny thing Billy, and I said it ounce. Sometimes you gotsa destroy freedom to save it understand . Like in Vietnam, some might say we ferced Deim on people and didnt let them hold elections like we promised at Geneva but thats just hogwash you see, if we let 'e,m have free election why then they woulda voted to to be unfree communists under Ho Chi Minh and that just wouldnt be free.......so we killled a million of the little yellow bastards to try and make 'em free and we was gonna do it I tell you but them there darn hippies......well they ruined it fer us..........its all there fault. So 1 million yellows died for nuthin because of the damn hippies!!! Oh yeah Iraq. Support the war son. Its American. Its patriotic. Dont matter if it seems like the war is doomed to failure. Dont even worry about the money or the strategic aspects. Dont worry about red China neither. All war is good. Aint never been no bad war...least not one we Americans was in!!! Just look at WW2. Greatest war we ever fought! Saved the free world from the Krauts and Japs and Russians yes sir. Them damn Russians. They didt defeat the NAzi's. Its was all us Yanks. We just a used the Brits as a huge aircraft carrier into Europe. Them damn Euro wussies already done forgot it too........dont even support us in our need. Damn EUROWUSSIES!!!! Freedom aint free ya hear now!!! FREEDOM AINT FREE!!!! Oh yeah, and sometimes you gots ta lose yer freedom in order to keep it!!! And everybody needs democracy........long as we control it anyway........and as long as our buisness interests is catered to in the process............ok Im done. Jesus, football, and war. Its all you need to know son. Lectures done............HEY!! Get that chaw out yer mouth and get out and milk them cows ya hear. And no going to the bar tonight. Yer moma wants you to rub her corns.........here, use this wood chipper. Them corns is tougher than nail!!!!

obd
01-04-2005, 05:01 AM
Wow, that was a cleansing experience. I have walked a mile in another's shoes......cant say I knew where I was a going and I cant say I could read them road signs or nuthin.......but darn I wager a months propane supply it was at least a good mile yes sir.

Remmember kids: Jesus, football, and war. Its all you need to know. Or waite, shouldnt it be Football, War, and Jesus? Oh hell, Im a not gonna argue on that no more. If I had a peny for all the seconds I spent arguin whether or if Christ was more important than football with my buddies while we wuz on our way to the hore house drinking bears and smokin the weed........why I'd have a whole bunch of money. Tell me sumthin if you even could figure on it......what comes after a thousand?

obd
01-04-2005, 05:04 AM
One Thousand and one!!! I finally figured it. Haha. Man-o-man, and ta think that all this time I was thinkin it was some kinda new world I aint never though of yet. Well moma always did tell me: "Ya never stop thinkin on a problem until you got it licked". Course she only ever dun said that when I couldnt remmember which side of my teeth I dun brushed already and I was a frettin over it cuz I didnt want to go to bible school withun half my teeth yeller and the other half white hyuk hyuk!!!! But I reckon moma's wisdom still means sumthin on other problems. Im a half to write thatun down and teach it ta my son when he gets outta jail.

obd
01-04-2005, 05:09 AM
Ya know somthing. Im a startin to like this here Republican thing alright. I think I might stay Republican. I get to talk to myself. Lots of people view my musens but they dont dare respond to 'em because they can tell Im too darn smart for 'em. Haha, aint not too many folks can say they could read a whole book before they was 10 years old now is there??? Well I could. If I reckon correct it was called "The Lord, Prayen, and Contraception". Moma made me throw it away though because she said it didnt work right. Guess she was just jealous that I was a readin and she couldnt or somethin. Never did figure that work "CONTACEPTION". Sounds like the devil is in that word to me though. Tell me sumthin: Any of you out there can tell me what that word means. Id might like to know. I mean I'd liek to know sumthing awefull ya here........Fact, Im gonna ask moma again while we is taken down the 50 foot poster of our great leader Bush Jr. we got up above the trailor............

obd
01-04-2005, 05:12 AM
Well lookie there!!! Four whole posts and not one reply yet. I bet I could get in some more too!!! Shoot, I gotta go tell moma I won at my own game but I wont tell her it was my own game. Shush now cuz Im gonna tell her it was yalls game and I still won. She be so proud. She might even make me molases corn bread!!!! Oh boy oh boy, I aint had that since my sister had her 15th child and survived to tell the story......Bye yall. Its prayin time. I will pray fer yall ok? I hope thats ok. Justa let Jesus inta yer hearts and everything is gonna be allright.

obd
01-04-2005, 05:14 AM
Oh god I hope I feel better in the morning. Its ok, by tommorrow morning this post will be locked and I can forget all about my hour as a Republican!!!! Thank U Jesus!! Lord have mercy!!! Praise da Lord!!!

SeanAshi
01-04-2005, 06:00 AM
Post some cliff notes :lol: I'm to lazy to read all of it.

Flagg
01-04-2005, 07:19 AM
Well, as much as I have attacked the war in the past I though for ounce I would try to think like my political rivals in order to better understand where they are coming from and how they view history and the world we live in today. Here is the product of that attempt.

Disclaimer: The views held in the following are protected under article 7, paragraph 3 of the Patriot Act and any removal of the following views and/or opinions can result in a maximum penalty of 10 years in Guantanomo next to a hairy unshaven skinny dude in a orange jump suit who's skin smells like Tabooli and/or $ 500 million in fines payable by check or money order to Haliburton.


So lets see......here goes not.....no.....nuthin

Them there darn terrorists are nuthin!! We whupped up on some Viet-nah.meez, we whupped up on some Japs and some Nazi' and hell, we even whupped up on ourselves and still kept a ticken! There aint no 2 hunderd thousan o them there camel jockeys. There's more like 500 of the bastards. They wont last long. Its at home where this war is a gonna be lost, not over there. We justa need to have faith in our great leader the KK.....er I mean Bush. He's a smartun yes sir-e-bob he is!! Why just the other day I heard him talking about a country I never even dun heard of. It started with a P.........Perkestan!!! Yeah thats it. Bunch Muslums over there that like us so much thier leader is best friends with Bush and they is a nuclear bunch of Muslums too!!! Its a good thing Bush is such a good freind to 'em all er else we'd a be in a heck of trouble yes sir-e-bob. Let me tell you, ifen you dont support this here war you is a traitor!! Plain and simple yes it is. You gotta support yer leader and his war no matter what. Its just the Ameriken thing ta do!!! I swear, sometimes I dont understand people. I mean war is a good thing. Our young boys getting to go off and shoot **** and blow it up and stuff and kill people who aint like us........how can you be against it?? Well I just dont know! You know, all them Army War College, CIA, DIA, Janes Information Group, and them darn Democrats (fricken commies!)....well they dont know a damn thing. I mean, freedom dont bread terrorists. We gots ta give 'em freedom!!! Free countries dont create terrorists......I mean just look at American history. Why we is a free ****ry and we never killed not one single civilian on prupose and we never launched an attack on a country unprovocked. NEVER!!!! We is hero's. Leaders of the free world. All we do is give to other ****ries. We never take. They hate us too and fer whut? Because we is better than they is. Thats why. They just jealous. I tell you a little secret Billy.....now listen up and dont tell nobody ya hear: ok here it is: It aint even the Muslums or the Jews thats uhtakkin us anyways: We is being attacked because we aint Christian enough. Its them damn blacks and them damn women getting all free on us white boys. We need to reign 'em in. Its just uncivilized fer a women ta be workin outside the home. A woman just cant deal with what a man can........but hey waite Im a getting off topic on ya Billy. Plain and simple: We wuz attacked and now we gotta kill people. Now it dont rightly matter who we kill. We just gotsta kill somebody to prove.....well to prove that you just dont attack freedom. Now I know president Bush is allowing the FBI and such to spy on us....but darnit there is terrorists and black folk all around us trying to kill us now ya hear. Sometimes you gotta destroy freedom to protect it. Do ya hear? Sometimes security is more important than freedom. Dont ya know. The government is always right....waite did I just say that? Oh now I know what I meant to say: Ya always support your nation as long as its being led by a man of Jesus like Bush. I got faith in the man. He's just plian good hearted ya hear. All this stuff about him given our money to the rich, lyin and stuff about the war, and stealin from out troops.......well I just refuse to believe a ,man of jesus like that wouldnt do somethin of that evil nature ya hear me boy? Yes sir. Have faith in yer leader........but only if he tells you he has faith in god. If he dont say Jesus, well then you attack him any chance ya get ok? Well sheet Im a getting off topic again now ernt I? Iraq. right. Well, Iraq is a war for freedom Billy and you gotsta be proud your a fighten it. If you die over there its for freedom. Its not for Haliburton or for Bush's re-election and we damn sure aint trying to control thier darn oil neither!!! We is trying to spread freedom which the good lord wants us to spread as far as we possibly can......Just ignore what we been doing to south America since the civil war........just ignore all that. Ignore what we did to the Vietnamese people. They wasnt ready for freedom. Its a funny thing Billy, and I said it ounce. Sometimes you gotsa destroy freedom to save it understand . Like in Vietnam, some might say we ferced Deim on people and didnt let them hold elections like we promised at Geneva but thats just hogwash you see, if we let 'e,m have free election why then they woulda voted to to be unfree communists under Ho Chi Minh and that just wouldnt be free.......so we killled a million of the little yellow bastards to try and make 'em free and we was gonna do it I tell you but them there darn hippies......well they ruined it fer us..........its all there fault. So 1 million yellows died for nuthin because of the damn hippies!!! Oh yeah Iraq. Support the war son. Its American. Its patriotic. Dont matter if it seems like the war is doomed to failure. Dont even worry about the money or the strategic aspects. Dont worry about red China neither. All war is good. Aint never been no bad war...least not one we Americans was in!!! Just look at WW2. Greatest war we ever fought! Saved the free world from the Krauts and Japs and Russians yes sir. Them damn Russians. They didt defeat the NAzi's. Its was all us Yanks. We just a used the Brits as a huge aircraft carrier into Europe. Them damn Euro wussies already done forgot it too........dont even support us in our need. Damn EUROWUSSIES!!!! Freedom aint free ya hear now!!! FREEDOM AINT FREE!!!! Oh yeah, and sometimes you gots ta lose yer freedom in order to keep it!!! And everybody needs democracy........long as we control it anyway........and as long as our buisness interests is catered to in the process............ok Im done. Jesus, football, and war. Its all you need to know son. Lectures done............HEY!! Get that chaw out yer mouth and get out and milk them cows ya hear. And no going to the bar tonight. Yer moma wants you to rub her corns.........here, use this wood chipper. Them corns is tougher than nail!!!!

That's quite scary coming from someone who admits to having drunk the Koolaid.

Why so much anger? Did your boyfriend dump you?

TALOS
01-04-2005, 07:22 PM
no, his boyfriend wanted a threeway with a monkey cuz he said they were related somehow, cant figure them types out yet.

obd
01-04-2005, 07:47 PM
Well dern TALOS, was you followin me?? But really yer wrong now on them details. It was the moneky that wanted out, not my boyfriend ya hear?

obd
01-04-2005, 07:49 PM
Well now Flagg, Im not exactly sure when I admitted to "drinkin the koolaid"......and to be honest Im not even sure what that means exactly......fill me in why dont you.

HooyahCQB
01-04-2005, 10:06 PM
The unfortunate fallacy of believing that all Republicans, or at least every Republican holding an office, is an ignorant back-woods redneck.











obd, someone, somewhere, can help you!

budgie
01-04-2005, 10:12 PM
Either that or a parody

walford
01-04-2005, 10:39 PM
obd, this thread and the subsequent self-bumpings are an excellent satire of the Leftist Straw Man (http://www.fallacyfiles.org/strawman.html) of the opposing point of view. If you are truly interested in learning the rationale behind the perspective you are lampooning, why don't you go into the belly of the beast and register with Free Republic? Browse through the threads and ask some questions.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/browse

Bear in mind, however that FR is actually moderated to facilitate discussion, so you will not last long if you resort to name-calling and distorted characterizations of arguments with which you disagree. Bear in mind also that you will be expected to actually know WTF you're talking about and be able to back up your assertions with evidence.

I predict that you will be what Freepers call 'ZOTTED' within an hour.

After that happens, you can join a message board oriented around your point of view to cleanse the palette:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/

Advice: use a carriage-return every now and then.

Trigger
01-05-2005, 03:07 PM
Advice: use a carriage-return every now and then.

Sorry walford, they didn't teach grammar, paragraph structure or toilet training in obd's re-education camp. But that was obvious.

Now I have a question for the mods and/or Hood:
Why is obd still able to post in the forums?

obd
01-05-2005, 05:00 PM
Because Trigger, I'm mighty entertaining??

This forum would be a whole lot less interesting without me. A little dissenting opinion helps all...................

obd
01-05-2005, 05:05 PM
wow, just went to the "FreeRepublic" link you gave me.

Headline Story: "Rescuers save trapped dolphin".

Uhhh....no thanks man. I think I will find another website. I'm all for dolphins and everything but..............well...............its just no fun reading about dolphin resuces

Second Headline Story: "Baseball bat Abortions"

Uhh.......jeez, what the heck is this website? Do I really wanna spend my time reading up on dolphin rescues and baseball bat abortions??? No thanks man.......but thaks for trying.

Trigger
01-05-2005, 05:20 PM
Because Trigger, I'm mighty entertaining??

This forum would be a whole lot less interesting without me. A little dissenting opinion helps all...................
About as entertaining as watching mentally retarded midgets set themselves on fire.................not that that would be considered wholesome entertainment, but I'd sure like to see you do it.......................What's with all the f'ing periods?.....................Is your retun/enter key broken?...............

obd
01-05-2005, 06:40 PM
Midegets on fire eh? Well that sounds mighty entertaining to me......and a heck of alot better than going to church.......although I do like to see the ladies all dressed up in tight cleavage showing dresses........and man-o-man the *** is always better after a good cleansing of sin from the lord!

Trigger
01-05-2005, 07:07 PM
Midegets on fire eh? Well that sounds mighty entertaining to me......and a heck of alot better than going to church.......although I do like to see the ladies all dressed up in tight cleavage showing dresses........and man-o-man the *** is always better after a good cleansing of sin from the lord!
Stop pretending to be hetero.

We all know you're as queer as a 3-dollar bill.

Zoomie
01-05-2005, 07:22 PM
And you know it's pretty sad when you have to reply to your own post five times in a row before someone actually bothers to say something at all. :lol:

Flagg
01-05-2005, 07:35 PM
Advice: use a carriage-return every now and then.

Sorry walford, they didn't teach grammar, paragraph structure or toilet training in obd's re-education camp. But that was obvious.

Now I have a question for the mods and/or Hood:
Why is obd still able to post in the forums?

I've asked before as well.......his posts are far from a counterbalance, instead of a "differing opinion" he offers only a poorly communicated message of hate.

If his target was someone or something other than President Bush, the Republican Party, or "neocons" he'd probably get charged with a hate crime in today's politically correct environment.....how ironical ;)

Actually I'm not convinced obd is gay, I'm starting to think he's just gender confused.

walford
01-05-2005, 10:56 PM
wow, just went to the "FreeRepublic" link you gave me.

Uhh.......jeez, what the heck is this website? Do I really wanna spend my time reading up on dolphin rescues and baseball bat abortions??? No thanks man.......but thaks for trying.You must have worked really hard to find those. You are obviously not serious about engaging in a serious discussion with those who hold an opposing point of view. As of this posting, this is what is being discussed in the Foreign Affairs section:
EXPROPRIATIONS TO BEGIN WITH SHOW OF FORCE: MILITARY TO SEIZE BRITISH RANCH THIS SATURDAY (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314924/posts)

First ‘Made in Saudi Arabia’ Mobile Coming (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314920/posts)

A CONTRACT SUICIDE (Ukraine Minister's death) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314916/posts)

HAYABUSA's ion engines achieved 20,000 hour & unit Space Operation (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314914/posts)

Kuwait Charges Two Soldiers Over Anti-U.S. Plot (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314912/posts)

Leaders Tour Tsunami Areas, Up Donations (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314906/posts)

RUSSIA'S MOUTH PIECE (Russian Pravda about Ukraine) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314901/posts)

European Dreams and the Soviet Legacy (Ukrainian flames) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314892/posts)

Tsunami charity song released (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314891/posts)

Body of missing Reynosa official found (Mexico) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314885/posts)

Not elk, but oil: China's Canadian hunt (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314877/posts)

Trouble spots (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314871/posts)

Lessons from Waves of Disaster (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314865/posts)

No Humor in Comic: Advice on breaking U.S. law is ill-advised (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314862/posts)

Anxious to help, they come as builders and end up as porters in the morgues (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314860/posts)

Don't be like the Silent Majority in the 60's and 70'sDemand Kerry be ousted from the US Senate! (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314858/posts)

The prisoners' code (from US News Washington Whispers, Page 2) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314849/posts)

MEMRI TV Project Special Report: Another Antisemitic Series on Iranian TV (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314849/posts)

Boston gang linked to al-Qaeda (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314841/posts)

The Coke Report Guatemala: The Crown Prince of Central America’s Drug Trafficking (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314836/posts)

MEMRI TV latest clips: Qaddafi Calls on America to Change to a Republic of the Masses; 3 more. (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314834/posts)

EIGHT DAYS AT SEA - ON A TREE (Indonesian tsunami victim) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314827/posts)

Local vessel heading for affected area (HSV 2 Swift) (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1314826/posts)