View Full Version : Life sucks!!!! There, I said it
EffJi
03-03-2005, 02:08 PM
I took a day off work today to spend some quality time with my girlfriend.
I cook some delicious food and we watch a movie together just the two of us, no stress just love.
The thing is, she's kurdish. I'm swedish. Kurds don't like it when their daughters dates swedes. So everytime we meet or even talk over the phone she has to lie to her family where she's going or who she's going to meet.
And she hated doing that. So instead of enjoying my company, she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy. So we had to break it off, today just three hours ago.
It was my decission and I can't change anything now.
We have been together for 9 months. Nine months all down the drain. Just because some ****ed up people cares about what their relatives in a country (that's not even a country) thousands of miles away think about their "honor" or whatever they call it.
Still, they found out about us a few months ago (we've been going "stealth" since that) and her older brother hit her. And I love her too damn much to want anything bad to happen to her.
What can I say. Life sucks.
I'll miss her forever.
Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go to a corner and cry a bit.
Trident-za
03-03-2005, 02:15 PM
Bad luck, man :( Humans are really strange creatures, with lots of strange ideas.... most of which are complete BS!
This post doesn't help you in any way, but... I still feel sorry for you.....
Hawkeye
03-03-2005, 02:17 PM
Bad luck, man :( Humans are really strange creatures, with lots of strange ideas.... most of which are complete BS!
This post doesn't help you in any way, but... I still feel sorry for you.....
Yeah is second that
gf problems suck
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 02:21 PM
man stay up, and its my experiace that if you two as a team want to make it work you could have. IF not .... then perhaps its for the better.
IM not a relationship expert, what i can tell you is the person you are with should be like your best friend, not just someone u are attracted to or say you love, cause love is misplaced and misunderstood allot.
I feel you on the part of her brother hitting her, but why not go and man up and confront her brother? that is what I would have done. Furthermore it should be to teh point at 9months where she shoudlnt give a **** what others think if she truely wants to be with you.
If she cant be assed to make the same sacrifices you are willing to shes gona be apart of the past bro, and you will be better off.
Sorry if i seem a lil preachy its just how i see it.
And I want u to try to stay up man and just have a lil fun go out with some friends chill out have some beers, get hammered... or even if you really believe shes worth the damage being done just talk to her openly about it.
not "Boy friend VS Girl Friend " i mean as two adults sit down and mutually work somethin out as two friends should.
Again man lol im being a lil preachy but i only see it how i know it myself,
Peace man and i wish u the best
John ..
Gallewicz
03-03-2005, 02:24 PM
Kompis, du gjorde det enda rätta och det bästa för henne, att hennes bröder är några jävla idioter är inte ditt fel. Starkt gjort! (Egentligen, polisen är kanske en möjlighet?)
I know one kurd, hes ok though, not that serious about islam and his culture.
Herrmannek
03-03-2005, 02:24 PM
You tell me...
Ichhabe
03-03-2005, 02:27 PM
Well. What is right and what is wrong? She could have been killed by her relatives, you of course know that.
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 02:29 PM
Kompis, du gjorde det enda rätta och det bästa för henne, att hennes bröder är några jävla idioter är inte ditt fel. Starkt gjort! (Egentligen, polisen är kanske en möjlighet?)
I know one kurd, hes ok though, not that serious about islam and his culture.
LOL a online translator must be ****ed up cause this is what i got from that
Mate , yous did the conclude adjust and the best for hers , that hers bread is any jävla idiot is nots till fault. High done! ( actually , police is maybe a possibility? )
Scottie
03-03-2005, 02:30 PM
hehe joing the club man..life sucks big time...thats why i am gonna go on a suidide mission soon
Gallewicz
03-03-2005, 02:32 PM
Don`t. :P
Kompis, du gjorde det enda rätta och det bästa för henne, att hennes bröder är några jävla idioter är inte ditt fel. Starkt gjort! (Egentligen, polisen är kanske en möjlighet?)
is kinda like
Buddy, you did the only right thing and the right thing for her, that her brothers are some ****ing idiots isn`t your fault. Strong job (?)! (Actually, the police might be a possibility)
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 02:34 PM
Don`t. :P
Kompis, du gjorde det enda rätta och det bästa för henne, att hennes bröder är några jävla idioter är inte ditt fel. Starkt gjort! (Egentligen, polisen är kanske en möjlighet?)
is kinda like
Buddy, you did the only right thing and the right thing for her, that her brothers are some f*** idiots isn`t your fault. Strong job (?)! (Actually, the police might be a possibility)
yeah from the nonesense the translator said, I picked up that meaning.
its just funny how bad online translators are lol.
EffJi
03-03-2005, 02:36 PM
The problem is that she lives at home. She has to live with those people. And they'll be able to come in contact with her. So bringing in the police or beating up her brother would only make them more mad at her.
And I'm live at home to, and I haven't inherated a huge fortune from a late relative that would let us run off to some other contry and be able to live happily ever after.
Besides, she doesn't want to split up with her family (something I can understand, they seem to be nice most of the time).
She really cares about them, so making them mad at her would not make me feel very good.
And Ichabe, it's not that severe. At least that's what she told me. They just won't allow it. They would do everything in their power to stop us from seeing each other short of hurting her.
They're not as extreme as some other kurds. They still love their lovely daughter more than they care about their "honor".
Gallewicz
03-03-2005, 02:39 PM
Good. I see what you mean. It just sucks I suppose. I`m not speaking of experience but well, there is not much that you can do now.
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 02:39 PM
yeah but dude you dont have to "Run to another country?" i mean if that is what you would truely wana do why cant you both go out on your own and do your own thing? its a scarey concept but might end up happy in the long run.
man family and honor aside the heart wants what it wants, and really if you both work just as hard then you both can reap what ever rewards your hardwork has accomplished.
it just takes a **** load to have it all lol and even when you have it all you strive for me.
and if its not that deep with you two, then you will be aight in time.
Gallewicz
03-03-2005, 02:41 PM
You know, there was this "honor murder" in Sweden a while ago. Fatime was her name? I`m not saying that it would happen but a thing to keep in mind.
I hope that Johnny is right though :P
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 02:42 PM
EffJi I wasnt suggesting you kick her brothers ass, or even fight him. I said confront, as I see it any man whos man enough to hit a woman is barely man enough to confront another man. Its a coward move on anyones playing field, so you might not even have to fight this guy cause he might cave anyway. ANY MAN who would hit his own sister is a bitch ... a coward plain and simple .
and you should just see how yellow he is.
Im not advising violence, and if he swings at you then its on, you gota do what you gota do.
But i doubt that most guys who hit women i find are cowards and will hesitate.
Stormy
03-03-2005, 02:58 PM
Wow man, That just sucks.
Well Bud, You know the saying man, There is alot of fish in the ocean.
Gallewicz
03-03-2005, 03:12 PM
EffJi I wasnt suggesting you kick her brothers ass, or even fight him. I said confront, as I see it any man whos man enough to hit a woman is barely man enough to confront another man. Its a coward move on anyones playing field, so you might not even have to fight this guy cause he might cave anyway. ANY MAN who would hit his own sister is a bitch ... a coward plain and simple .
and you should just see how yellow he is.
Im not advising violence, and if he swings at you then its on, you gota do what you gota do.
But i doubt that most guys who hit women i find are cowards and will hesitate.
It`s a good idea but I`m afraid that he would revenge on her. :/
Khabbi
03-03-2005, 03:41 PM
this whole situation sucks , sorry dude :(
Lifeinasmallbox
03-03-2005, 03:46 PM
f*** that sh*t m8, go by what you want and what she wants...if yall were meant to be together then let it be meant, dont give it up cuz some dip ****s wanna have their say in it....and kick the brother in the balls, he wont f*** with you no mores. that is so gay. life sucks, sorry bra :petting:
EffJi
03-03-2005, 04:11 PM
EffJi I wasnt suggesting you kick her brothers ass, or even fight him. I said confront, as I see it any man whos man enough to hit a woman is barely man enough to confront another man. Its a coward move on anyones playing field, so you might not even have to fight this guy cause he might cave anyway. ANY MAN who would hit his own sister is a bitch ... a coward plain and simple .
and you should just see how yellow he is.
Im not advising violence, and if he swings at you then its on, you gota do what you gota do.
But i doubt that most guys who hit women i find are cowards and will hesitate.
I know you didn't mean that. I was just kidding about that. The thing is that I didn't dare to do anything that might put her in harms way. That includes talking to her brother. And we've been sneaking for far too long to come out in the open with it, they'll be pissed off that we hid it from them.
And to be completely honest she loves her family too much to just break it with them. She's known them for 19 years, me for 9 months. I hate that fact, but that's just something I have to accept. So marriage and that kind of things are out of the picture. If I were to spend the rest of my life with her, that would mean that she would have to break contact with her family, and I don't want to cause her that pain.
To make matters worse: she asked me not to call her again. We have broken up before (after we got caught) - although that lasted only for a few days - and it was too hard wierd for her to start seeing me again. That time she advised me to go out and find a girl to "play". If that aint love, I don't know what is. :)
On a funny side of this: I have recieved a number of threatening SMSs from her sister (GF gave me a heads up so I didn't answer to get threatening calls). I only just realized it was her sister that sent them, you expect that kind of thing more from a brother.
have some coffee and apple pie, trust me, you'll feel a lot better
Damn... this is messed up... :| I wish I could give you any good advice but this is just ****ed up either way. :|
Johnny_H02
03-03-2005, 05:02 PM
EffJi[/b] I wasnt suggesting you kick her brothers ass, or even fight him. I said confront, as I see it any man whos man enough to hit a woman is barely man enough to confront another man. Its a coward move on anyones playing field, so you might not even have to fight this guy cause he might cave anyway. ANY MAN who would hit his own sister is a bitch ... a coward plain and simple .
and you should just see how yellow he is.
Im not advising violence, and if he swings at you then its on, you gota do what you gota do.
But i doubt that most guys who hit women i find are cowards and will hesitate.
I know you didn't mean that. I was just kidding about that. The thing is that I didn't dare to do anything that might put her in harms way. That includes talking to her brother. And we've been sneaking for far too long to come out in the open with it, they'll be pissed off that we hid it from them.
And to be completely honest she loves her family too much to just break it with them. She's known them for 19 years, me for 9 months. I hate that fact, but that's just something I have to accept. So marriage and that kind of things are out of the picture. If I were to spend the rest of my life with her, that would mean that she would have to break contact with her family, and I don't want to cause her that pain.
^^^ I feel that man, but you and her gota do whats best for you and her, and I for one wouldnt let anyone get in the way of that, if shes deciding to side with her family that is her choice, and it sorta trivialises what you think you have with her, cause if you want to be with someone for ever then most times you just do it ... everyone else be damned.
To make matters worse: she asked me not to call her again. We have broken up before (after we got caught) - although that lasted only for a few days - and it was too hard wierd for her to start seeing me again. That time she advised me to go out and find a girl to "play". If that aint love, I don't know what is. :)
She told u to go find another girl to play? in the meantime ? that dosnt sound right man, cause if she loved u as u love her ... shed want you with no one else, she can ethier accept the fact her family isnt gona like you and go ahead with the relationship ... or not its committment or non committment im only saying this as if you are really in love wiht her and not just another girlfriend, she has to put in just as much into you guys as a couple as you do if she dosnt then that is a problem and woudl result in a breakup regardless of wether her family liked you or not
On a funny side of this: I have recieved a number of threatening SMSs from her sister (GF gave me a heads up so I didn't answer to get threatening calls). I only just realized it was her sister that sent them, you expect that kind of thing more from a brother.Ide still call her a **** ..anyone who would hit thier own sister is a ****in moron ..in for a swift ass kicking
just my thoughts [/b]
I'd love to share your enthusiasm Johnny, but... the family is Kurdish. :|
main_unit
03-03-2005, 05:19 PM
lol dude f*cked up
my gf and i broke up last week
but i heard something about revenge kills???
it happened a dozens of times here in holland
but on the other hand dude,didn't you 2 knew about the situation she's in with her parents n stuff,oh btw,i would have gone to beat her bro up a bit,make him miss his ears or a hand r sumthing,just to get even :roll:
;)
Fargin
03-11-2005, 11:08 AM
There's nothing to say or do: It just sucks and it will suck untill you fall in love again. Love sucks, but mostly in a good way.
Take care.
btdown
03-11-2005, 12:00 PM
Anonymously report the brother/father to the Swedish government (or the Americans, or both) that the father and brother are al-qaeda and are planning some sort of terrorist act (dirty bomb plot seems like a good one). When they come to scoop up the brother/father and send them to Guantanemo where they will be held for months/years, you can slide in and hit dat azz.
Also, is it a problem that you're a Swede that they dont like you? Would they like a German, French or American any better? Or is it an Islam thing?
If life didn't suck now and then you'd never appreciate the good times.
You sound like you're very young, be prepared to go through many more heartbreaks before you find Mrs. Right.
walford
03-11-2005, 01:49 PM
Well. What is right and what is wrong? She could have been killed by her relatives, you of course know that.There absolutely is a right and wrong here. The family is dead wrong -- but then you must bear in mind that I'm one of those cranks who believes in universal principles. t is always wrong everywhere to be prejudiced and hold women as property.]
Regardless of what happens with respect to you, this young lady needs to quietly and methodically extricate herself from her family. That is, she needs to find a way to be able to support herself so she can move out. There will be a period of estrangement, but eventually they will have to accept that she is not in the old country anymore -- and as such is not livestock for the disposal of men.
But until she is free from them, for her to see you is to put her in danger. If you truly care for her, remember that. If she chooses to remain with them [it would take a great deal of courage to escape them], there is little that you can [or should] do.
Jack Mehoff
03-11-2005, 01:58 PM
she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy.
her older brother hit her.
She cares for people who hit her? How old is she? :lol:
Commie
03-11-2005, 01:59 PM
Cultural leftovers i would say. A lot of countries has some kind of system where the family decides whom the daughter should pick, and it sucks.
The only reasonable thing i really can see, (don't see the possibility of the police.) is just to have a straight talk with the father and try to make him see what you and your girl see in eachother. Ask him if there is some terms of dating you can agree on or whatever just to get to see her and when the father see that you are a nice guy, which you hopefully are. He will loosen up.
If it not works, try again.
Uncle Sam
03-11-2005, 02:01 PM
I've been in your situation...Recently actually...
It looks bad now, but it will get better.
)I(EHbKA.
03-11-2005, 04:01 PM
I took a day off work today to spend some quality time with my girlfriend.
I cook some delicious food and we watch a movie together just the two of us, no stress just love.
The thing is, she's kurdish. I'm swedish. Kurds don't like it when their daughters dates swedes. So everytime we meet or even talk over the phone she has to lie to her family where she's going or who she's going to meet.
And she hated doing that. So instead of enjoying my company, she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy. So we had to break it off, today just three hours ago.
It was my decission and I can't change anything now.
We have been together for 9 months. Nine months all down the drain. Just because some f*** up people cares about what their relatives in a country (that's not even a country) thousands of miles away think about their "honor" or whatever they call it.
Still, they found out about us a few months ago (we've been going "stealth" since that) and her older brother hit her. And I love her too damn much to want anything bad to happen to her.
What can I say. Life sucks.
I'll miss her forever.
Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go to a corner and cry a bit.
Why don't you just find a swedish girl, and don't worry about. The best is when your girlfriend is from the same country/religion as yourself. I'd never date anyone else.
I've been in your situation...Recently actually...
It looks bad now, but it will get better.
I guess that means that relationship really ended? (I was wondering about how that went)
EffJi
03-11-2005, 04:50 PM
she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy.
her older brother hit her.
She cares for people who hit her? How old is she? :lol:
Her family consist of more people than her psycho older brother :cantbeli:
She likes the other ones. And her pshycho brother aint psycho all the time.
molly747
03-11-2005, 07:48 PM
she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy.
her older brother hit her.
She cares for people who hit her? How old is she? :lol:
Her family consist of more people than her psycho older brother :cantbeli:
She likes the other ones. And her pshycho brother aint psycho all the time.
How old are you?
R.E.D.Infection
03-11-2005, 09:42 PM
People are stupid... sooner you learn that the better.
I took a day off work today to spend some quality time with my girlfriend.
I cook some delicious food and we watch a movie together just the two of us, no stress just love.
The thing is, she's kurdish. I'm swedish. Kurds don't like it when their daughters dates swedes. So everytime we meet or even talk over the phone she has to lie to her family where she's going or who she's going to meet.
And she hated doing that. So instead of enjoying my company, she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy. So we had to break it off, today just three hours ago.
It was my decission and I can't change anything now.
We have been together for 9 months. Nine months all down the drain. Just because some f*** up people cares about what their relatives in a country (that's not even a country) thousands of miles away think about their "honor" or whatever they call it.
Still, they found out about us a few months ago (we've been going "stealth" since that) and her older brother hit her. And I love her too damn much to want anything bad to happen to her.
What can I say. Life sucks.
I'll miss her forever.
Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go to a corner and cry a bit.
Step up, be a man, earn some respect.
You've got to pick your fights in life, but I'd say that's one of them.
EffJi
03-12-2005, 09:04 AM
she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy.
her older brother hit her.
She cares for people who hit her? How old is she? :lol:
Her family consist of more people than her psycho older brother :cantbeli:
She likes the other ones. And her pshycho brother aint psycho all the time.
How old are you?
twenty, why?
disabled1
03-12-2005, 09:38 AM
women come and go dude. yeah the situation is ****ed up but there are plent more fish in the sea
Jack Mehoff
03-12-2005, 08:02 PM
Life is nothing more than a gigantic fart, and you are the cushion.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
[/Woody]
GothicSnake
03-12-2005, 09:25 PM
I'm definitely sorry for you, Effji, if you really loved her it'll never stop hurting, it'll just go so far into the back of your mind that you'll rarely think of it. But, either way, the old saying about other fish in the sea is more than true, it's just up to you to go out there and catch 'em. :petting: ;)
BTW, I would definitely have confronted her brother. You just don't hit a woman. Period. Unless they're trying to kill you or something, then, by all means, whup some ass. ;) :lol:
molly747
03-12-2005, 10:47 PM
she felt miserable for lying to the people she cared about. And I want to make her happy.
her older brother hit her.
She cares for people who hit her? How old is she? :lol:
Her family consist of more people than her psycho older brother :cantbeli:
She likes the other ones. And her pshycho brother aint psycho all the time.
How old are you?
twenty, why?
If you were a teenager, I would tell you to move on, but it's different when you're older. Pursuing a relationship when family members are less than supportive is tricky. It puts a definite strain on the relationship (been there, done that). I'm not telling you to give up completely, but do look at all the options. Spend some time apart and see if this is really worth pursuing. If so, then go for it. But it's very hard to be a part of a relationship that is, essentially, built on mistrust.
Maybe this is mean, but hey..
This is a kurdish-swedish singer. She's kinda good looking but I wouldn't hit her - simply because I wouldn't hit anyone that has hair growing out of the forehead.
http://www.connection.se/hem/anders/gatu/gatu97/bild/dilba2.jpg
Son, you go out and find a nice swedish girl instead.
walford
03-13-2005, 12:36 AM
I distinctly recall mentioning that this forum may not be the best place to discuss critical personal issues...
EffJi
03-13-2005, 04:52 AM
Maybe this is mean, but hey..
This is a kurdish-swedish singer. She's kinda good looking but I wouldn't hit her - simply because I wouldn't hit anyone that has hair growing out of the forehead.
http://www.connection.se/hem/anders/gatu/gatu97/bild/dilba2.jpg
Son, you go out and find a nice swedish girl instead.
Well, my kurdish girl didn't have hair growing out of her forehead.
And why the hell would I want a swedish girl for? Why would I want to date some pale-ass bitch with a bad attitude?
Gallewicz
03-13-2005, 05:23 AM
And why the hell would I want a swedish girl for? Why would I want to date some pale-ass bitch with a bad attitude?
Word brotha rofl
Jack Mehoff
03-13-2005, 09:04 AM
And why the hell would I want a swedish girl for? Why would I want to date some pale-ass bitch with a bad attitude
Swedish bikini team
Well, my kurdish girl didn't have hair growing out of her forehead. And why the hell would I want a swedish girl for? Why would I want to date some pale-ass bitch with a bad attitude?
She really isn't your girl anymore, right?
Maybe you just didn't notice her shaving?
Hehe, so the swedish girls dissed you.. Hard times.
Thor could you just for at least 1 thread stop being such a goddamn ****head?!
Ok, i'm going to try to be nice. :)
But it's more fun being a bit mean. ;)
walford
03-13-2005, 02:01 PM
Thor could you just for at least 1 thread stop being such a goddamn ****head?!Any forum where many will pile onto a 13-year-old girl with their doubts rather than just keeping silent -- even after she said some of the posts made her cry -- is no place to discuss such matters. There are some here who have a pre-pubescent mentality. As such:Children, Dr. Graham tells us (http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html), if left to devise their own society, would most likely come up with something resembling William Golding’s The Lord of the Flies. In other words, an 11-year-old’s social milieu is “crude… stupid… [and] savage.”So if you decide to bare your soul in this environment, don't be surprised.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.10 Copyright © 2012 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.