Russian Texan
11-14-2003, 09:19 PM
First of all let me clarify that I'm neither republican nor democrat but I think this is funny:
If you believe that lying about a Blow Job is an impeachable offence, yet lying about the reasons for going to war is “standing your ground”, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that spending Billions on Social Programs in Iraq is “humanitarian aid for a long repressed people”, but spending Billions on Social Programs in the United States is “welfare for lazy bums”, you might be a Republican.
If you condemned Mahathir Mohammed for saying “Jews control the world”, but defend General Boykin and Trent Lott for their much more racist comments, you might be a Republican.
If you are “pro-life”, but don’t mind when a few thousand Iraqis and few hundred Americans die in a war, you might be a Republican.
If you believe the government should stay out of the church’s business, then believe in faith based initiatives, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Saddam Hussein needed to be bombed, but that Mubarak and Musharif need American aid, and China needs most favored nation trading status, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Machiavelli was right, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that the government is violating our rights, then support the Patriot Act, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that deficits are bad, but pass tax cuts without corresponding program reductions, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that we fought this war to defend American values, then want to hang all the war protesters, you might be a Republican.
If you think mentioning Buddha or Mohammed in schools violates the separation of church and state, but want the kids to keep pledging allegiance to a nation “under God”, you might be a Republican.
If you do not believe in a “vast, right wing conspiracy,” but DO believe in a “vast left wing conspiracy”, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that television news is biased and left wing, but believe that Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage are fair and balanced, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Donald Rumsfeld is sane, you might be a Republican.
If you think it was unfair that Lincoln got shot, but great that Kennedy got shot, you might be a Republican.
If you STILL think it is all Clinton’s fault, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that John Ashcroft is really interested in justice, you might be a Republican.
If you think a tax cut for the rich is going to help you when you are not rich, you might be a Republican.
If you believe anything coming out of Paul Wolfowitz’s mouth, you are seriously deluded, plus maybe a republican.
If you believe that anyone who can see through the steaming fetid pile of bovine excrement that passes for GOP rhetoric is a liberal, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that Bush prefers war to diplomacy because it is easier to spell, you are almost as cynical as me
If you believe that lying about a Blow Job is an impeachable offence, yet lying about the reasons for going to war is “standing your ground”, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that spending Billions on Social Programs in Iraq is “humanitarian aid for a long repressed people”, but spending Billions on Social Programs in the United States is “welfare for lazy bums”, you might be a Republican.
If you condemned Mahathir Mohammed for saying “Jews control the world”, but defend General Boykin and Trent Lott for their much more racist comments, you might be a Republican.
If you are “pro-life”, but don’t mind when a few thousand Iraqis and few hundred Americans die in a war, you might be a Republican.
If you believe the government should stay out of the church’s business, then believe in faith based initiatives, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Saddam Hussein needed to be bombed, but that Mubarak and Musharif need American aid, and China needs most favored nation trading status, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Machiavelli was right, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that the government is violating our rights, then support the Patriot Act, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that deficits are bad, but pass tax cuts without corresponding program reductions, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that we fought this war to defend American values, then want to hang all the war protesters, you might be a Republican.
If you think mentioning Buddha or Mohammed in schools violates the separation of church and state, but want the kids to keep pledging allegiance to a nation “under God”, you might be a Republican.
If you do not believe in a “vast, right wing conspiracy,” but DO believe in a “vast left wing conspiracy”, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that television news is biased and left wing, but believe that Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage are fair and balanced, you might be a Republican.
If you believe Donald Rumsfeld is sane, you might be a Republican.
If you think it was unfair that Lincoln got shot, but great that Kennedy got shot, you might be a Republican.
If you STILL think it is all Clinton’s fault, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that John Ashcroft is really interested in justice, you might be a Republican.
If you think a tax cut for the rich is going to help you when you are not rich, you might be a Republican.
If you believe anything coming out of Paul Wolfowitz’s mouth, you are seriously deluded, plus maybe a republican.
If you believe that anyone who can see through the steaming fetid pile of bovine excrement that passes for GOP rhetoric is a liberal, you might be a Republican.
If you believe that Bush prefers war to diplomacy because it is easier to spell, you are almost as cynical as me