Who here has been caught pleasuring themselves?

[mudbunny]

Whether it be by the Wife/Husband/roommate/brother/sister, whatever. Come clean with the tales of sin. Oh, by the way, your all going to hell.

[usa320]

if by pleasuring yourself you imply enjoying a bottle of top shelf scotch whiskey, than yes, ive been caught.

[EvanL]

if by pleasuring yourself you imply enjoying a bottle of top shelf scotch whiskey, than yes, ive been caught.
that joke was dryer than my martini

[mudbunny]

if by pleasuring yourself you imply enjoying a bottle of top shelf scotch whiskey, than yes, ive been caught.

sweet Jesus, wouldn't that burn? Did you talk dirty to it?

[disabled1]

my wife and i got caught by her dad.........

[EvanL]

my wife and i got caught by her dad.........
ahhhhh hahahahahahahahah

[disabled1]

bummer

[Gauntlet]

Caught by my dad. He didn't see see me but I think he heard me. It was dark and I shut off my light. He must've heard the muffled waps behind the door or something.

But all he told me was "Go to bed" and that was it.

[GothicSnake]

Only time recent enough for me to remember was this one time my dad came in but he didn't see me doing the deed and I was still wet from coming out of the shower so I just told him I was changing and he bought it. So technically I didn't get caught.

[Clete Torres]

My Dad caught me once when I was like 14. You would think the proper etiquette in that situation would be to look away and leave the room. Not my old man. I clearly remember him saying "Jacking off, eh.", and then he went right into asking me whatever the **** it was that he came into my bedroom to ask me! The worst was when I'd have a new girlfriend over the house for any length of time because he always seemed to bring it up in front of her just to embarrass me. Usually after a few cocktails over Easter or Thanksgiving dinner. Not joking.

[mudbunny]

I got caught by the wife once. She was away on business, and she was SUPPOSED to be gone for 5 days, Monday thru Friday. So she left on Monday and that night I was gettin the itch (insert joke here) so I went out to blockbuster and rented some serious T&A flics with the sole intention of having Whackfest '97 for the duration of the week. So Thursday comes and I've made my way to "Wild Things" and made it to the legendary scene and hit the pause button on the DVD remote where the dude is pouring champagne all over the chicks knockers and BAM! The front door opens and there is my wife standing there with her mouth fully ajar and just gazing at me standing there, because I had jumped up when I heard the key hit the lock, with the little soldier at attention. Long story short, it actually ended up turning her on and we occupied ourselves for the next 5 minutes. Hey, cut me some slack, I was ready to go!

[mudbunny]

My Dad caught me once when I was like 14. You would think the proper etiquette in that situation would be to look away and leave the room. Not my old man. I clearly remember him saying "Jacking off, eh.", and then he went right into asking me whatever the f*** it was that he came into my bedroom to ask me! The worst was when I'd have a new girlfriend over the house for any length of time because he always seemed to bring it up in front of her just to embarrass me. Usually after a few cocktails over Easter or Thanksgiving dinner. Not joking.

lol, I think we have the same father.

[usa320]

aye i caught my girlfriend once, that was awkward as all hell.

she got back at me though, she caught me looking at teh **** movies on the interweb.

so now were even.

[Gauntlet]

aye i caught my girlfriend once, that was awkward as all hell.

she got back at me though, she caught me looking at teh **** movies on the interweb.

so now were even.

lucky you. If it were the other way around then I don't think you would have a g/f to walk in on. That played out well.

[pAt]

mom caught me the other day actually, walked in my room then just turned around, 5 mins later i talked to my mom like nothing happend, i mentioned this to my gf now she talks about it everytime we on the phone!

[sucker4gurls]

I will boast of a spotless record. Not once in the three years i've been doing it so far. (13-16)

[EvanL]

I will boast of a spotless record. Not once in the three years i've been doing it so far. (13-16)
it took you thta long to realize you could tug the little thing between your legs and it would feel good?

[sucker4gurls]

I will boast of a spotless record. Not once in the three years i've been doing it so far. (13-16)
it took you thta long to realize you could tug the little thing between your legs and it would feel good?
no, i just didn't feel like doing it until i was 13....

[Aerosoul]

hell i did all the time at boarding school. we all did.

best years of my life.

[goldman]

rofl

[Aerosoul]

i was just saying it was fun being at an all boys boarding school growing up. fun growing up as a person. absolutely nothing to do with being gay.

[goldman]

i was just saying it was fun being at an all boys boarding school growing up. fun growing up as a person. absolutely nothing to do with being gay.

rofl

[goldman]

You all going to hell rofl

[Aerosoul]

fine. be an ass.

i'll take my leave now. enjoy the boards folks.

[Silverdragon]

I havent been caught, but I did walk in on my sister. I hear yells and screams coming from the bathroom while im playing games on the PC. I thought she slipped and broke somthing so I run in and shes there, on the phone too!! Traumatizing.... :|

[Morboute]

oh i have been caught many times... woot

[Pook2]

a few too many times in fact...

[nagant_m44]

My Dad caught me once when I was like 14. You would think the proper etiquette in that situation would be to look away and leave the room. Not my old man. I clearly remember him saying "Jacking off, eh.", and then he went right into asking me whatever the f*** it was that he came into my bedroom to ask me! The worst was when I'd have a new girlfriend over the house for any length of time because he always seemed to bring it up in front of her just to embarrass me. Usually after a few cocktails over Easter or Thanksgiving dinner. Not joking. rofl rofl rofl rofl

Well i wasnt caught yankin my crank, but my mother did accidentally punch my in the nuts. I was sleeping, and i was having a nice dream, and my mom came in to wake me up. I had lots of blankets over me, so i was covered in a mound. For some reason, she lunged at the blankets to rip them off to wake me up. She hit me in the nads pretty damn hard, and i coudnt walk for an hour. :( :(

[sucker4gurls]

My Dad caught me once when I was like 14. You would think the proper etiquette in that situation would be to look away and leave the room. Not my old man. I clearly remember him saying "Jacking off, eh.", and then he went right into asking me whatever the f*** it was that he came into my bedroom to ask me! The worst was when I'd have a new girlfriend over the house for any length of time because he always seemed to bring it up in front of her just to embarrass me. Usually after a few cocktails over Easter or Thanksgiving dinner. Not joking. rofl rofl rofl rofl

Well i wasnt caught yankin my crank, but my mother did accidentally punch my in the nuts. I was sleeping, and i was having a nice dream, and my mom came in to wake me up. I had lots of blankets over me, so i was covered in a mound. For some reason, she lunged at the blankets to rip them off to wake me up. She hit me in the nads pretty damn hard, and i coudnt walk for an hour. :( :(

WHAT THE FÜCK IS THAT?!?!?!

why would your own mother, who probably wants grandchildren, punch you in the balls?

[nagant_m44]

My Dad caught me once when I was like 14. You would think the proper etiquette in that situation would be to look away and leave the room. Not my old man. I clearly remember him saying "Jacking off, eh.", and then he went right into asking me whatever the f*** it was that he came into my bedroom to ask me! The worst was when I'd have a new girlfriend over the house for any length of time because he always seemed to bring it up in front of her just to embarrass me. Usually after a few cocktails over Easter or Thanksgiving dinner. Not joking. rofl rofl rofl rofl

Well i wasnt caught yankin my crank, but my mother did accidentally punch my in the nuts. I was sleeping, and i was having a nice dream, and my mom came in to wake me up. I had lots of blankets over me, so i was covered in a mound. For some reason, she lunged at the blankets to rip them off to wake me up. She hit me in the nads pretty damn hard, and i coudnt walk for an hour. :( :(

WHAT THE FÜCK IS THAT?!?!?!

why would your own mother, who probably wants grandchildren, punch you in the balls?

She laughed at me when after it happened :(

[digrar]

I'm laughing at you right now.

[Clete Torres]

Nagant_m44, no matter how my day is going, you're always a fun guy to talk to.

[disabled1]

ive never seen the guy before he just squeezed outta the woodwork

[pathfinder82]

Not by myself but with an old girlfriend, we were like 16 or 17. I thought she was gonna die from embarrassment. The father came home early from work and busted me walking to the bathroom with no clothes on and the rubber still on. :oops:

She was busted with her bare ass in the air fixing the sheets of the bed.

My room was right by the bathroom so there was no time to warn her.

There was an open door policy in my house until I moved out after that.


Never got busted with the hand though. ;)

[Sayeret]

Caught by my dad. He didn't see see me but I think he heard me. It was dark and I shut off my light. He must've heard the muffled waps behind the door or something.

But all he told me was "Go to bed" and that was it.

hahaha, that struck me as really funny.

[Clete Torres]

I thought "muffled waps" was a pretty funny description to.

[usa320]

I thought "muffled waps" was a pretty funny description to.

x2.


A funny story... one night at work, me and this dude were sitting on top of my car in the parking lot, drinking sodas and chit chatting... it was like, probably 10:30 at night, so i didnt have much to do, so we went out side to shoot the bull and munch... So were sitting there stuffing our faces and rambling on about days of old, and we suddenly hear this sound echoing across the parking lot.... it was like "SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP WATCHA SLAP SLAP SLAP".... We both started laughing hysterically... it was the unmistakable sound of hips smacking ass.


rofl rofl

[disabled1]

while in kosovo back in 99 a friend and i were tasked for a 12 hour guard shift at the mupp building in urosevac. across the street was the uck building which we is what we had to guard. fortunately there was a high school right next to the building and me being 19 was enjoying the scenery along with my friend. after talking with the people for about 10 hours everybody left and and we were left alone at the school. out of nowhere appeared our squad leader and told us we need to start patrolling around the school just to make sure nobody was watching us from back there or anything. my friend travis made his first round then came over to me and told me to come here. we walked to the back of the school and saw a guy and a girl sitting on the back steps of the school. i asked them what they wee doing and they pointed to the cornfield behind the school. puzzled i asked my friend travis to see if he understood what they were talking about. travis and both saw them at the same time, a guy and a girl right where the two had pointed going at it about 75 meters from us in the middle of a cornfield. my friend travis being the outstanding person he is, made the decision to go out there and watch them at about 5 meters behind them. he went out there, they exchanged some words and he left and we both decided to head around front and wait this out. now the two in the back of the school, you ask what were they doing. they were waiting their turn to go out to the field so they could go at it. we both sat and watched for thelast 2 hours of guard, live **** is the best!!

[Jack Mehoff]

well, I caught a friend of mine jacking off in an abandon warehouse.

He: "hey, i'm going to go take a leak"

Yeah, people don't take a leak for 15 minutes Mr. Wanker. Needless to say I stopped shaking his hands after that.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/7317/dsc001804vw.jpg

[toki]

I can't recall getting caught directly, but when i was 13 i was in holiday with my parents alone, my brother was at some camp. We had an appartement and i had my own room. We came home and while i wanted to go "sleeping" my parents wanted me to come to a night walk at the beach. Finally they went and i stayed. Relieve was highly anticipated. :lol: I just remember that i woke up in my room having still my pants part down the next morning. I was like oooh, "close call". But at lunch time i realized how my father started talking how much i grew up and that i'm now a teenager and my mother put her hand on my shoulder and it wasn't a warm smile - for me it was an evil grin. It was almost worse then getting caught in action, because i never knew (i never asked of course) how they found me when they checked if i'm sleeping. I just think it was the post-jerk-*****-pants-down-red-faced-sweaty-sleep.

Viva Espana! Ole

[Gauntlet]

I can't recall getting caught directly, but when i was 13 i was in holiday with my parents alone, my brother was at some camp. We had an appartement and i had my own room. We came home and while i wanted to go "sleeping" my parents wanted me to come to a night walk at the beach. Finally they went and i stayed. Relieve was highly anticipated. :lol: I just remember that i woke up in my room having still my pants part down the next morning. I was like oooh, "close call". But at lunch time i realized how my father started talking how much i grew up and that i'm now a teenager and my mother put her hand on my shoulder and it wasn't a warm smile - for me it was an evil grin. It was almost worse then getting caught in action, because i never knew (i never asked of course) how they found me when they checked if i'm sleeping. I just think it was the post-jerk-*****-pants-down-red-faced-sweaty-sleep.

Viva Espana! Ole

At least they didn't pull out a bible and start preaching that wanking is worthy of damnation. They probably did some themselves.

hmmm... did Jesus ever masterbate?...

[toki]

I can't recall getting caught directly, but when i was 13 i was in holiday with my parents alone, my brother was at some camp. We had an appartement and i had my own room. We came home and while i wanted to go "sleeping" my parents wanted me to come to a night walk at the beach. Finally they went and i stayed. Relieve was highly anticipated. :lol: I just remember that i woke up in my room having still my pants part down the next morning. I was like oooh, "close call". But at lunch time i realized how my father started talking how much i grew up and that i'm now a teenager and my mother put her hand on my shoulder and it wasn't a warm smile - for me it was an evil grin. It was almost worse then getting caught in action, because i never knew (i never asked of course) how they found me when they checked if i'm sleeping. I just think it was the post-jerk-*****-pants-down-red-faced-sweaty-sleep.

Viva Espana! Ole

At least they didn't pull out a bible and start preaching that wanking is worthy of damnation. They probably did some themselves.

hmmm... did Jesus ever masterbate?...

:lol: no my parents found it amusing i guess. No bible thumping here. Never. And i'm thankful for that. Even we're catholic (more on paper i'd say :lol: )

[Midtown]

haha check this out, not quite jerking off, but funny none the less.

Sometimes I sleepwalk.
My mom comes up to me the other day and goes "yeah last night you were sleepwalking"
I go "what?"
"yeah you were sleepwalking, you came upstairs and were standing over by our tv, i woke up and asked you if you were okay, you said yes, then i asked if you needed anything, and you said no and turned around and went back downstairs to your room"

I then relized I woke up naked. I went to sleep with cloths on.

So theres a good chance i was just standing naked by my parents TV. Gotta love it.

[Roldwin]

I was caught by my mother when I was 15 yo while watching a ****o movie, and doing ... you know ...:oops:
I was very concentrated at Asia Carrere bobs, and I almost had a heart attack when I heard my mother yelling at me "WFT are you doing !?!?!?" and I didn't get up next morning until my parents finished eating.

[CH4RL13]

No one has busted in on me, and Ive never been 'caught'. In the military, especially on deployments, its a way of life.

We only have shower curtians seperating our living spaces and my 'bed' is really noisy. Move just a little and it creeks and groans. So after one night of 'self entertainment' one of my roomates said 'damn, take it easy on the poor guy' Pretty funny but thats about it.

31C

[Frosty]

My pops busted me at about 13, walked right in my room and shouted,"Don't you know tha ****'ll make you go blind?!"
My response:



"Dad, um, I'm over here.

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=44473&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=32

Most recently i woke my wife up while rubbin' one out. She said, "How would you like it if you woke up and i was playin' Hello Kitty?" :roll:
"C'mon girl, you know i'd try to help."

[v-twin]

Well I never got caught but it was a close call once. My folks were sleeping and I was in my room...entertaining myself with some..****...I heard the door opening so i closed the windows and maximized some ad-aware program....we just talked about why was I up at that hour....he knew, no doubt about it :|

Once, while I was still in Romania, I was at my grandparents'(where I usually spent my summers), and I was watching Baywatch. Now, I had to scratch my balls, and suddenly my grandpa walks in; instinctively I pull my hand out and he stats asking me for how long I've did it, and that's why my hands are shaky and then my grandma tells me about how it's morally wrong, bla bla....I was never the same after that :( :|

[<Gypsum Fantastic>]

Once, while I was still in Romania, I was at my grandparents'(where I usually spent my summers), and I was watching Baywatch. Now, I had to scratch my balls, and suddenly my grandpa walks in; instinctively I pull my hand out and he stats asking me for how long I've did it, and that's why my hands are shaky and then my grandma tells me about how it's morally wrong, bla bla....I was never the same after that :( :|

Haha, that's probably worse. Getting 'caught' hwen you weren't even doing it.


I've never been caught. Too professional.

[Jeremiah]

Heres a video of an guy who looks like he's wacking it. rofl

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/thebellringer.html

[Apogee]

The joke at West Point is that if some one walks in on you "self pleasuring" yourself, at the next formation they will announce that you've gotten engaged. Still makes me laugh to this day.

[disabled1]

who says ringknockers dont have a sense of humor

[Gauntlet]

Heres a video of an guy who looks like he's wacking it. rofl

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/thebellringer.html

is that the Navy Academy bell?! :cantbeli:

[Werewolf01]

who says ringknockers dont have a sense of humor

What's wrong with the one they're issued? :|

[scm77]

Heres a video of an guy who looks like he's wacking it. rofl

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/thebellringer.html
http://jif.ytmnd.com/

:lol: