Bored. Wonder how long you guys gone without masturbating?

[Jack Mehoff]

About a month

p.s. anybody making fun of my name is going to feel the cold blade of that dagger on your throat (refer to sig)

[Salty Dog]

23 minutes and 17 seconds. :oops:

[Brandon]

A month?!?! Good lord. Week or two tops. Im so weak.... :lol:

[NcDeuce]

About a month

p.s. anybody making fun of my name is going to feel the cold blade of that dagger on your throat (refer to sig)

You are probably gettin' some though.

[Kriz]

Two days max :) I just can resist the "urge"

[MolliG]

2-3ish years :lol: ;) . Gauntlet has already explained it, see below. :P

[Gauntlet]

I don't remember but for a looooong time somewhere in the years.

Look guys I can explain. I get no pleasure from it. I try to think that I'm going at it with a women but the thought,
"YOU IDIOT! ITS A HAND!" keeps sticking.

So I just don't do it. :|

[usa320]

man you guys need some women. now. fast.

[Trigger]

Usually about a month between sessions.
I have hooks for hands and need time to heal.

[Jack Mehoff]

Trust me, just because you have a human female specimen at your disposal doesn't mean you stop spanking your meat.



man you guys need some women. now. fast.

[Tane Angle]

rofl I'm considering replying to this just because it might not be expected. All I'll say is that soldiers are humans too, and that when back at base, we'd be lying to ourselves if we didn't think they were going for that thing many humans do. rofl

[Jack Mehoff]

Let's be honest, everybody masturbate and the difference is some people just don't want to admit it

[California Joe]

I do tend to wash myself very fast in the shower ocassionally.

Poor Edward Triggerhands.

[One?]

is it even possible to store your sprem for 3 years?

[Midtown]

three weeks is my longest tally.

[Uncle Sam]

I do tend to wash myself very fast in the shower ocassionally.

Poor Edward Triggerhands.

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/4_1_205.gif

[Vance]

I do tend to wash myself very fast in the shower ocassionally.

Poor Edward Triggerhands.

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/4_1_205.gif
:cantbeli:

[Uncle Sam]

I do tend to wash myself very fast in the shower ocassionally.

Poor Edward Triggerhands.

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/4_1_205.gif
:cantbeli:

Don't start with me kid !

[California Joe]

Frankly I'm a little disturbed that Jack is thinking about me masturbating.

[Trigger]

I do tend to wash myself very fast in the shower ocassionally.

Poor Edward Triggerhands.

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/4_1_205.gif
That's 'Edward Shreddedgland' to you mister. p-)

[cut]

Where's farmgirl when you want to see what she has to say?

[Rantanplan]

I need it every 12 hours. No more, no less.

[California Joe]

She's indisposed.

[Guttorm]

Frankly I'm a little disturbed that Jack is thinking about me masturbating.

THinking the same thing...
If I'm bored, I seldom find myself thinking "Hmm, I wonder how long soandso has gone without jerking off..." :D

But anyway... I don't jerk off... never... Nope... Won't do it... at all... ;)

[cut]

She's indisposed.

how unhelpful

[TriggerPuller]

About a month

p.s. anybody making fun of my name is going to feel the cold blade of that dagger on your throat (refer to sig) Where would you like me to start? Bring it on Beatch!!!!!!!

TP

[ibstolidude]

I can last a fair bit....

ahhhhhh.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

how long was that?

[Gauntlet]

Frankly I'm a little disturbed that Jack is thinking about me masturbating.

Oh good Lord! That is something to worry about. :cantbeli:

[RealUltimatePower]

Yous a Pyrat

[wulfstan]

12 minutes, that reminds me, gotta go...

[Vance]

Hay guys, what is masturbation?

[Ratamacue]

Hay guys, what is masturbation?

Does it come in a can?

[papasmerf]

I spank it at least 3 times a day if I'm not out doing something. I have a girlfriend, but I still masturbate, I can go on having *** a lot more if I cleaned the pipe before hand p-)

Oh, how you BTDT's dealed with lack of females when you were deployed? You just spanked in front of the whole battalion in your barracks? lmao

[Gauntlet]

Hay guys, what is masturbation?

Wow... you're the most innocent person.

Its basicly that a human simulates *** to get pleasure.

[pAt]

Hay guys, what is masturbation?

Wow... you're the most innocent person.

Its basicly that a human simulates *** to get pleasure.

lol i know a collage student that doesnt know what masturbation is and she is serious

[Seoulstriker]

i'm wondering how many people are having *** and they're not married. :|

[Vance]

Hay guys, what is masturbation?

Wow... you're the most innocent person.

Its basicly that a human simulates *** to get pleasure.
Stimulate? Pleasure? All these naughty words :(

[Gauntlet]

i'm wondering how many people are having *** and they're not married. :|

Plenty but I'm not one of them and proud of it. People who have *** with a person they'll break up with in 10 Days is not cool. :slap:

longest I've gone withought masterbating was about 1-2 weeks...

[oakes]

6 weeks. US Air Force BMT.
By the end of that, I was so randy, I could masterbate to a clouds that were shaped like breasts.

[usa320]

i think these threads need to start getting the padlock. first the ***** size, then the pissing contests and circumsition...enough is enough...

[Haiw]

I did YEARS without masturbation...

That was before I had hair on my balls though. ;)

[Jack Mehoff]

My baby maker

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/funk.jpg

just kidding ladies, that's sun lotion

[Merik]

Damn, and I thought the "ass" thread was getting bad, ya'll start talking about anal *** and now according to Jack......"MATURBATING" rofl

[Shake n Bake]

I have to relieve myself atleast 2x a week to remain mentally sound.

Also...If I don't do it manually what ends up happening is that I start to have some crazy ass dreams and wake up with sticky bed sheets. --

[ShotOver]

Umm.. 2 weeks.

I just got a new girlfriend, so i don't expect to have to do it again for atleast a month.

[Guttorm]

i'm wondering how many people are having *** and they're not married. :|

You worry too much. Not everyone sees that as a sin you see... :)

[Rantanplan]

@Merik

A warhammer 40k avartar?!?!?!

C'mon! rofl

[AFG]

after watching 40 days and 40 nights i might give up masturbation for Lent...











nah..

[Midtown]

that flick worth seeing? I havnt watched a Hartnet flick since I ran into him at a blockbuster (BHD doesnt ****ing count, that movie stands by itself)

[dm82247]

like a month but that dosent count the 4 wet dreams that where throwen in there.



Dose that count? :roll:

[Andyman]

maybe a day tops

I got a girl but I must say I suffer from a neurological disorder called hornius jackrabitus and if i dont release my pipes routinely i get violent and start running into inanimate objects. :|

[Andyman]

http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/funk.jpg

Good God Man WTF rofl

[usa320]

You guys arent right.

http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/gay2.jpg

[Jack Mehoff]

http://home.zonnet.nl/forum_spam3/thread_related/thread_rocks/images/0473.jpg

http://home.zonnet.nl/forum_spam3/thread_related/thread_rocks/images/0478.jpg

[usa320]

THats an insult to comic book man to put his seal of approval on this thread.

http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/gay1.jpg

[papasmerf]

23 minutes and 17 seconds. :oops:


When do you sleep?

[usa320]

http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/whocares6.jpg

[Merik]

@Merik

A warhammer 40k avartar?!?!?!

C'mon! rofl

Whhhaaattt??? I thought it was ok Rant. All right, all right I'll change it.

[Skaman]

Holy **** this forum has hit an all time low.

[Falco]

Holy **** this forum has hit an all time low.

I was kind of thinking the same thing :|

[Merik]

Holy **** this forum has hit an all time low.

Then leave, we would be better off without you anyway.

[Truthsayer]

This thread proves that most users are kids that claim that they are older then they really are... :roll:


I'm myself married, so there is really no need to answer the question.

[Haiw]

You mean you're like the guy in American Beauty? ;)

[Roger Rabbit]

http://64.106.169.225/Clients/kinkade/Album3/bukkake.gif

[wulfstan]

I went about 14 years, from birth to about 14 years... :lol:

[Jack Mehoff]

I went about 14 years, from birth to about 14 years... :lol:

I see, you are a late bloomer

[Roger Rabbit]

Only a liar says he doesnt wank and only a fool says he does.

[Jack Mehoff]

I'd rather be a fool than a liar

[Scrim]

Oh, how you BTDT's dealed with lack of females when you were deployed? You just spanked in front of the whole battalion in your barracks?

Was out in 29 Palms, wandered away from my Humvee to go out in the desert and have a wank. Was sqauting there looking at a **** book with my red-lense flashlight. Midstroke, I glance up, and theres a pair of glowing eyes watching me from about 15 feet away. I shine the flashlight over there and theres a fvcking coyote watching me have a spank! What a perve. I about **** myself. After that I just beat it in the back of the Humvee.

[wulfstan]

I see, you are a late bloomer

not really, i just thought that 14 years would be less embarassing than the real date!

[Haiw]

not really, i just thought that 14 years would be less embarassing than the real date!
14 months?

[Jack Mehoff]

Oh, how you BTDT's dealed with lack of females when you were deployed? You just spanked in front of the whole battalion in your barracks?


It doesn't make any difference whether you are in an infantry unit (no females) or support unit with females. I'm sure some guys in a support unit got their knobs polished by other females but that's the exception.

[dhfactory]

About 12 months.

I do now, every month approx.

but when i was 20 i didn't at all for about a year.

I've been throught stages when i was younger when i did it more.

-Sean

[AFG]

that flick worth seeing? I havnt watched a Hartnet flick since I ran into him at a blockbuster (BHD doesnt f*** count, that movie stands by itself)


its semi funny but dont waste your money buying it. go rent it.

lol there's one scene when he dreams of ****

[kinghk]

i'm wondering how many people are having *** and they're not married. :|

Whay about gay people? since they cant married, I suppose that you think that they should go all life without having ***?

Seriously, your morale is getting close to Taliban.

[Seoulstriker]

i'm wondering how many people are having *** and they're not married. :|

Whay about gay people? since they cant married, I suppose that you think that they should go all life without having ***?

you're joking, right? :|

[Haiw]

Well he does kinda...have a point.

[Merik]

Oh, how you BTDT's dealed with lack of females when you were deployed? You just spanked in front of the whole battalion in your barracks?

Was out in 29 Palms, wandered away from my Humvee to go out in the desert and have a wank. Was sqauting there looking at a f*** book with my red-lense flashlight. Midstroke, I glance up, and theres a pair of glowing eyes watching me from about 15 feet away. I shine the flashlight over there and theres a fvcking coyote watching me have a spank! What a perve. I about **** myself. After that I just beat it in the back of the Humvee.

Thats funny as hell. rofl rofl

[Resevoir Hogs]

Two days will update

[papasmerf]

I gotta have it cuz if I don't, then I start becoming unfaithful.... and that's the last thing my gf wants.

[Jack Mehoff]

An advice, make sure you wank it 2 hours before a date with a girl.

[budanski]

better yet, have your date wank you... for 2 hours. ;)

[urs]

masturbating is for wankers.

[wulfstan]

Have you guys seen that Seinfeld episode where they try to have a competition to see who can go the longest without masturbating? It's really funny, the female character (can't remember name) is one of the first to crack!

[Brandon]

I'm myself married, so there is really no need to answer the question.

So that means every day if your married right? :lol:

[wulfstan]

I'm excellent at wanking, i make myself come everytime!

[Dmitri]

I'm excellent at wanking, i make myself come everytime!No way man!!! Whats the secret? :|

[2Sheds_Jackson]

Longest time? Two words: basic training.

[Jack Mehoff]

Longest time? Two words: basic training.

My DS called it "stall number 2"

[2Sheds_Jackson]

Longest time? Two words: basic training.

My DS called it "stall number 2"

Yeah, we had one guy who was answering the call of duty in the shower at like 3AM. In the frickin' shower mind you, not even a stall. Dorm guard found him & he was severely beaten with his own *****.

Damn, *** was about the furthest thing from my mind at that point. Even the females we saw did nothing to help - all wearing ill-fitting BDUs, with birth control glasses, no makeup, and generally pissed off. Later, about a week out of basic and it was like I was hit by a tidal wave of hormones. Most everybody was, females included. Much drunken unauthorized humping ensued, all in clear violation of the UCMJ. :)

[Zarathustra]

At least once a day.

[TuNeRsHaRk]

whats the point, of jacking it


this thread i mean, not youre ****

[zonk]

20 years rofl ...i got layed before i even started punchin the munchkin. i was the laughing stock of the medicalplatoon because i openly admitted to not jerking off then one day after being up for over 24 hours i went to my room and found **** on the internet that i liked and well it was a match made in heaven. ahhhhh the joys of internet. the only thing that sucks is that i cant do it every day cause i cant seem to get the urge but like every couple days...

[Nugget]

20 years rofl ...i got layed before i even started punchin the munchkin. i was the laughing stock of the medicalplatoon because i openly admitted to not jerking off then one day after being up for over 24 hours i went to my room and found **** on the internet that i liked and well it was a match made in heaven. ahhhhh the joys of internet. the only thing that sucks is that i cant do it every day cause i cant seem to get the urge but like every couple days...

you gonna do it till your nose bleed ... i can tell

[lunny]

hey man im just lucky my girl stay most nights at home..with me in my room.. ;) oohhhyeeaah!!!http://www.spacespider.net/emo/love031.gif

[Abolith]

Longest time? Two words: basic training.

My DS called it "stall number 2"

hehehe we called it the jack-shack. it was the last stall between the wall and support pillar... gave some nice privacy.

[Caesar]

I just came back from a female friend of mine house. I made her a long massage in her bed for an hour or so but that's it, there's no way I'm going further with her. She's ****ing hot though. I know what it is to have my balls on fire. Took care of it. To answer the question, it's been a week.

[Juicy]

On saturday, I asked a girl from one of my college classes to SWING DANCING (:P ). It was an awesome excuse to embraced/dry humped her 5'5" 115 pounds on our first date. She even thanked and commented on my dancing skills by the end of the night. It was marvelous, but I had a bad case of blue balls by the end of that night.

Oh, and she was only 18 years old. I'm such a pig! p-)


-Jack Mehoff

[username]

about 2 weeks and man oh man when it was over! :D

[Pook2]

going on 4 weeks now.

[FDF_Hemppis]

going on 4 weeks now.
You're my hero p-)

[Asheren]

Hmm why bother there is a lot of nice girls around.

[Macs.]

Never did that.

[Scottie]

i just recently tried going for a while, but i managed 4 days :(

but previously times its been about 3 weeks woot

but just now i got the urge to download some ****... but everyone is home at the mo :|

id ask my gf to do it for me, but she aint here now..

[Pook2]

going on 4 weeks now.
You're my hero p-)

I really don't wanna get caught pleasing myself in barracks.

[MARINO]

Never did that.
as hetero****** :lol: ?

[VISTREL]

12 hrs...once you pop the fun don't stop!

[toki]

hey man im just lucky my girl stay most nights at home..with me in my room.. ;) oohhhyeeaah!!!http://www.spacespider.net/emo/love031.gif

To be honest for me that are two very different things. One cannot replace the other.

Only one thing i realized, when just fallen in love your fantasies aren't dirty enough. :lol: The butterflies and little flashing hearts that you see 24/7 are poison for the "dirty" beat up!

[Morboute]

havent done it in a long time... im married, im never alone. woot

[Scottie]

what do u do if u really need to masturbate and u cant dl **** off the comp coz sum1 will see u, and u have some dirty images in ur head, but u know there is a magazine sumwhere in the house with some ****ie pics...argh...

[toki]

what do u do if u really need to masturbate and u cant dl **** off the comp coz sum1 will see u, and u have some dirty images in ur head, but u know there is a magazine sumwhere in the house with some ****ie pics...argh...

use the images in your head... no need for ****

[Warlord]

Well. I work here in Saudi Arabia. The only pussy I'm allowed is a cat and some highly illegal ****.

I do it so often that I have a name for my left hand. If I want some variety I'll use my right..

[Hawkeye]

what do u do if u really need to masturbate and u cant dl **** off the comp coz sum1 will see u, and u have some dirty images in ur head, but u know there is a magazine sumwhere in the house with some ****ie pics...argh...

use the images in your head... no need for ****


x2


suits me...

[lunny]

hey man im just lucky my girl stay most nights at home..with me in my room.. ;) oohhhyeeaah!!!http://www.spacespider.net/emo/love031.gif

To be honest for me that are two very different things. One cannot replace the other.

Only one thing i realized, when just fallen in love your fantasies aren't dirty enough. :lol: The butterflies and little flashing hearts that you see 24/7 are poison for the "dirty" beat up!

rofl rofl rofl rofl im feeling the bitterflies, and little flashing hearts,. :oops: :lol:

[usa320]

hey man im just lucky my girl stay most nights at home..with me in my room

x2.


Bang a girl each night. It will keep you from having to answer ****ty questions like "how often do you wank your shlong?".

[Scottie]

what do u do if u really need to masturbate and u cant dl **** off the comp coz sum1 will see u, and u have some dirty images in ur head, but u know there is a magazine sumwhere in the house with some ****ie pics...argh...

use the images in your head... no need for ****


x2


suits me...

ergh, but its just soo much better to use magazines or videos..... :|
plus there is sound on video's and movement p-)
it kinda brings you into the cheap **** flick.

[Hawkeye]

what do u do if u really need to masturbate and u cant dl **** off the comp coz sum1 will see u, and u have some dirty images in ur head, but u know there is a magazine sumwhere in the house with some ****ie pics...argh...

use the images in your head... no need for ****


x2


suits me...

ergh, but its just soo much better to use magazines or videos..... :|
plus there is sound on video's and movement p-)
it kinda brings you into the cheap **** flick.


not really
fantasy can be way wider than real stuff, which is often on the border of disgusting

[Lexi]

I thought this thread was dead. :| :lol:

[Gallewicz]

Well, I know this convert to judaism that had to get circumcised. He went without masturbation for around a month.

[TuNeRsHaRk]

I thought this thread was dead. :| :lol:

you better leave before this happens

http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/j/o/jos115/images/funny%20stuff/newav.gif

[Miles.]

hey man im just lucky my girl stay most nights at home..with me in my room

x2.


Bang a girl each night. It will keep you from having to answer ****ty questions like "how often do you wank your shlong?".

I wish the thread had been locked ^^ there...

Horrible thread. Some of the kids on this forum will look at this. Plus "juicy" spammed it back to life. Lock it!!

[toki]

Well, I know this convert to judaism that had to get circumcised. He want without masturbation for around a month.

uhm i heard you have to rethink your techniques anyway. :lol: Heard it from a guy who needed it for medical reasons.

[Resevoir Hogs]

I dunno, how long did it take me to write this post?