hood
01-28-2004, 02:46 PM
Ok so I was looking around for sites that had lists of swear words so I could add them to the filter on some other web sites I've got. I came across a site that had a rediculously large number of insults for every category you can think of, one of which of course is for America. This is probably flame bait, but I'll only post the ones I can laugh at also as some self-ribbing is good for the soul every now and then.
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody, and still nobody likes him.
- Jim Samuels
America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
- Charlie King
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
- Carl Sandburg
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
- Wilfred Sheed
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
- Arnold Toynbee
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
- Charles Luckman
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- Bobcat Goldthwaite
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- King Edward VIII
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
- Adlai Stevenson
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.
- Mark Twain
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
- George Bernard Shaw
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
- Dan Rather
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen
Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.
- Miles Kingston
American is a very difficult language mixed with English.
- Anonymous
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
- Paul Gallico
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
- Samuel Johnson
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
- L. L. Levinson
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
Eric Linklater
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid program for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
- S. A. Rudin
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
- Walt Whitman
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
- Oscar Wilde
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
- Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
-Will Rogers
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody, and still nobody likes him.
- Jim Samuels
America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
- Charlie King
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
- Carl Sandburg
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
- Wilfred Sheed
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
- Arnold Toynbee
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
- Charles Luckman
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- Bobcat Goldthwaite
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- King Edward VIII
In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
- Adlai Stevenson
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.
- Mark Twain
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
- George Bernard Shaw
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
- Dan Rather
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen
Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.
- Miles Kingston
American is a very difficult language mixed with English.
- Anonymous
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
- Paul Gallico
Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
- Samuel Johnson
Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
- L. L. Levinson
There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
Eric Linklater
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid program for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
- S. A. Rudin
The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
- Walt Whitman
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal
In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
- Oscar Wilde
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
- Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
-Will Rogers