View Full Version : Hasslehoff - A tribute
There's actually **** all here, I was just curious as to how many of you sad bastards would actually click on a link bearing this title.
To anyone who did click on this link - you deserve a hefty punch in the ****, please ask your spouse / parent / best friend / roommate / lesbian life partner / sibling / random bloke you met in a pub / McDonalds drivethru bloke to deliver afforementioned cockpunch.
By the way, we all know Hasslehoff was cool in his Knightrider days, but it all went downhill after Baywatch and being a German soft rock sensation.
not cool - I am traumatized b/c I too loved Knightrider and I want Knightrider to be the Hasselhof legacy - rock on Michael you are the coolest.
hank
California Joe
02-06-2004, 08:41 PM
You mutant goat f*cking prick. How dare you sully the oscar winning actor's name with this pathetic attempt at self promotion. Everyone knows that Knightrider and cockpunches are synonymous.
Trigger
02-06-2004, 08:51 PM
*Administers self ****-punch...thrice* :oops:
ßå$tĮТHÏ¿ð
02-06-2004, 08:52 PM
Knightrider is the ****...like who wouldnt want to have a talking firebird (or trans-am..sorry my brains dusted today)
He committed suicide by the german soft rock/baywatch (baywatch because im a jealous fawker)...
You mutant goat f*cking prick.
I'm no mutant, the rest of it is probably up for debate.
Anyway, we all know Knightrider Hasslehoff was cool. Afterall, what's cooler than a white man with an afro, a chest so hairy it may in fact be a gorillas and a belt buckle that looks heavy enough to sink the Nimitz?
Obviously this is with the exception of a dog wearing a hat, everyone knows that they are the epitome of cool.
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 09:03 PM
:cantbeli:
:cantbeli:
You wound me deeply with your razor wit.
The fact remains, you still deserve a cockpunch.
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 09:10 PM
:cantbeli: :cantbeli: :cantbeli:
Wow it gets worse.
http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/gay1.jpg
Cheers
California Joe
02-06-2004, 09:14 PM
You mutant goat f*cking prick.
I'm no mutant, the rest of it is probably up for debate.
Anyway, we all know Knightrider Hasslehoff was cool. Afterall, what's cooler than a white man with an afro, a chest so hairy it may in fact be a gorillas and a belt buckle that looks heavy enough to sink the Nimitz?
Obviously this is with the exception of a dog wearing a hat, everyone knows that they are the epitome of cool.
He is King of all Lifeguards and Members Only jacket wearing foolios.
Three of those smiley things means that you deserve three seperate cockpunches or you can have your balls caught in a train door.
I leave the choice up to you.
By the way, that's Erik Estrada, not Hasslehoff, you have your eighties icons mixed up.
Next thing we know you'll get BA Baracus mixed up with TJ Hooker and then where will the madness end?
Trigger
02-06-2004, 09:15 PM
"Up the f**k, shut you must NcDeuce..." -Yoda
I've been told to shut up before, and if I didn't listen to that science nerd bloke from "Streethawk" then I'm afraid Yoda doesn't stand much chance of success.
California Joe
02-06-2004, 09:18 PM
I love gaz because I'm his avatar
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 09:19 PM
Do you have a crush on Johnny Depp gaz? rofl
Rantanplan
02-06-2004, 09:19 PM
He he, David Haselhoff is just jet on a promo-tour for his new Album in Germany. :lol: I saw him last week on TV and he was singing in german!!! rofl We are realy a bunch of sexcrazed david haselhoff loving Nazis!
http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/
Trigger
02-06-2004, 09:20 PM
Not you gaz!
:oops:
Do you have a crush on Johnny Depp gaz? rofl
No, I have a crush on Joe because he loves me.
NcDeuce, don't worry, just because no one loves you doesn't mean you'll spend the rest of your life alone, if you ever think that will happen then get a dog and give it a hat. Girls (Or boys, it's your choice) will flock to you because you'll become cool by association.
Trigger - my apologies, I've simply become used to being told to shut the **** up, if I hear it then I assume it's aimed at me.
Trigger
02-06-2004, 09:28 PM
Yeah, I know the feeling...Every time I hear "You gay homo Navy sittin'-in-front-of-a-radar-screen-not-making-a-difference-fat-McDonalds-eating-lowering-the-bar-ugly-American" I just assume they mean me, so I just wave.
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 09:31 PM
You two get a room.
No NcDeuce, you should get a room with a girl (Or boy, again I say I make no judgements) and show them this picture and tell them the dogs in it are your best friends.
http://www.trilon.com/doggers/images/litter3/Roscoe_8mo_hat.jpg
This could in fact lead to you being bare naked with a girl!! If you really want to push your luck then show them this picture and say it was your childhood dog who died in a tragic parasailing accident
http://members.ozemail.com.au/~mypetshop/img51.gif
That could in fact lead to a girl touching your winky!!!
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 09:39 PM
You're hilarious.
NOT.
Don't quit your day job.
BTW, I have a girl. You? Blowup dolls and barbies do not count, sorry.
Trigger
02-06-2004, 09:42 PM
You're hilarious.
NOT.
Don't quit your day job.
BTW, I have a girl. You? Blowup dolls and barbies do not count, sorry.
He got her on eBay and doesn't want any competition.
I freely admit that I am in fact not hilarious, but I would like to point out the irony of you pointing out I'm not hilarious in a fashion that steals a joke from a film that is now twelve years old and frankly was not that funny to begin with (The joke, not the film).
By the way, I may not be hilarious but I can write longer sentences that you. HA!!!!
Also, technically I don't have a day job, I'm a barman so it's more of a night job - does your helpful advice about not giving it up still apply?
Finally, to answer your question, I don't actually have a girlfriend at the moment, but I've got a dog with a hat so it's simply a matter of clicking my fingers and the girls will come running (To the dog, not me, but as I previously pointed out, I'll be cool by association).
aparently he won the cold war for us... :|
Did David Hasselhoff really help end the Cold War? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3465301.stm)
NcDeuce, as an addendum I have a quick question regarding part of your signature -
"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain."
Can a wise man at the bottom of a well see more than an idiot with his head stuck all the way up his arse?
BTW I'm not inferring you are an idiot with his head stuck all the way up his arse, I am in fact accusing you of being an idiot with his head stuck all the way up his arse.
farmgirl
02-06-2004, 09:57 PM
How could a thread about one of the greatest actors of our time have gone so awry?? You know he wouldn't want it this way...... come on now.... kiss and make up.... for DH..... :petting:
NcDeuce
02-06-2004, 10:05 PM
NcDeuce, as an addendum I have a quick question regarding part of your signature -
"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain."
Can a wise man at the bottom of a well see more than an idiot with his head stuck all the way up his arse?
http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/positive.jpg
You still fantasize about a 40-year old man.
I find it interesting that whenever you're stuck for words you use one of those Ebaumsworld images because you can't come up with anything in the way of a witty retort.
It must be embarassing to have to resort to those on such a regular basis and essentially admit to being an idiot with his head stuck all the way up his arse.
Please make sure you get those cockpunches administered soon, it may render you temporarily incapable of reproducing which I believe can only be a good thing in the long run because the world isn't ready for two idiots with their heads collectively stuck up their arses by which I mean their own arses, not each others because after all, that would just be weird.
Oh, and I can still write longer sentences than you. Double HA!!!
Almost forgot, which forty year old man are you talking about? Johnny Depp or Joe? If you meant Joe you were probably right, if you meant Johhny Depp then I'm afraid you were wrong because I'd rather think about his missus.
NcDeuce
02-07-2004, 05:18 PM
Actually, I just have better things to do than waste my time on a Johnny Depp fan. And what the hell is a f*cking cockpunch?
Macs.
02-07-2004, 05:21 PM
When you punch his ****.
Actually, I just have better things to do than waste my time on a Johnny Depp fan. And what the hell is a f*cking cockpunch?
Well, apparently you don't have better things to do since you're still here arguing (Rather ineffectually). I hearby claim victory over you and demand you give me all of the cheese you currently have in your fridge as my prize.
What's your problem with Johnny Depp anyway? I admit his politics aren't really to my liking sometimes but the fact remains he's been in some great films such as Pirates of the Caribbean, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Sleepy Hollow, Ed Wood (A minor masterpiece), Donnie Brasco and others not to mention other movies which are considered classics (But not by me I'm afraid) like Nightmare on Elm Street, Edward Scissorhands, and Platoon.
In fact, I think you're actually a closet Johnny Depp fan, it's just that you were getting your arse kicked so badly in our little debate that you were grasping at straws for things to insult me with which proves my earlier point regarding idiocy and a head which has been self insertetd into a major bodily orifice.
As has been pointed out by other members of the board a cockpunch is in fact a punch in the ****, that was hardly rocket/science/brain/surgery (Please use those four words in any combination you wish to achieve the desired effect of making you look stupid) was it?
Finally, my hat wearing dog says I'm cooler than you because I'm still writing longer sentences that you. Triple HA!!
Haiw, I don't like ice cream, I'd prefer cheese and biscuits, is that alright with you?
Nope. Real men want ice cream.
You've caught me out, I'm not a real man, I'm actually a dog in disguise as a man, this way I get hats that fit my head better.
California Joe
02-07-2004, 08:36 PM
I'm actually 41 now but I am dead sexy, or as Beowulf would say "I'm the heat". So I can understand how one of you homos not to mention farmgirl *sigh* might be hot for me.
PS Johnny Depp was brilliant in PotC.
So I can understand how one of you homos..... might be hot for me.
Hey Joe, where are you going with that gun in your hand?... Erm, sorry, wrong thing.
Hey Joe, you were the first one to declare your love for me so I think that people in glass houses sink ships, or words to that effect.
I can honestly say I'm uneffected by any of California Joe's 'looks'...
Salty Dog
02-07-2004, 08:57 PM
gaz, i'm gonna f***in waste you.
*breaks out singing the baywatch theme song*
California Joe
02-07-2004, 08:59 PM
I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady.
Sorry gaz, that was a momentary civil union kinda thing induced by a 12 pack and a self deprecating wit that falls on deaf ears in this domain. I'm back to loving voluptuous blondes from Iowa.
Have you ever noticed that no one likes Haiw? Strange.
Is it the smell? Or the hair? Maybe I should try a different shampoo...
NcDeuce
02-07-2004, 09:46 PM
Well, apparently you don't have better things to do since you're still here arguing
rofl
I wouldn't know anything about a cockpunch. I keep my hands away from the male reproductive organs. Is cockpunching a common thing in your neck of the woods in England?
Luxembourger
02-08-2004, 05:56 PM
what s wrong with Chips ?
I liked it when I was a kid . and even watches it today if some Tv channel shows ithttp://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/gay1.jpg
Fargin
02-08-2004, 06:17 PM
You all say it like it's a bad thing p-)
I wouldn't know anything about a cockpunch. I keep my hands away from the male reproductive organs. Is cockpunching a common thing in your neck of the woods in England?
You keep your hands away from male reproductive organs? Then how do you go for a piss?
Anyway, cockpunching isn't what you'd call common nor is it unheard of, it's generally only dished out to idiots who deserve it.
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