Stalin's mutant ape army

[2RHPZ]

We don´t need to be serious all the time :) Tabloids around the EU are today full of such an article:

Stalin's mutant ape army


SOVIET dictator Josef Stalin ordered his scientists to cross humans with APES to create an invincible breed of Red Army soldiers, secret documents show.

Archive papers say the Kremlin chief demanded his Planet of the Apes warriors be “resilient and resistant to hunger”.

He said they should be of “immense strength but with an underdeveloped brain”. He also wanted them to work on railway construction.

Labs and ape skeletons have been found in the Black Sea town of Suchumi in Georgia by workmen building a kids’ playground.

It is thought the apes were among creatures captured for research during the 1920s project, which cost Stalin £8,500 — more than £1million in today’s money.

Scientist Ilia Ivanov was ordered to breed the mutants. He had already tried to create a super-horse by crossing the animals with zebras.

The Sun (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005580679,00.html)


... some more Googled infos (http://www.fatemag.com/2005_04art1.html)

[Slinky]

we will end up like in "Ape World"

[Rakki]

Me Stalin, You Jane

[2RHPZ]

Me Stalin, You Jane

rofl .........

[asch]

rofl rofl rofl

[tsuri]

Apparantly it is old information from at least 2002. Someone dug it up and now it is circulating the yellow press.
If you understand german, have a look
http://www.bildblog.de/?p=1029


Well Stalin was crazy. And the ideas on genetics the soviets had were laughable.
It is also interesting to see that Engels noted that work turned ape into man, while Stalin seemed to think communism had to turn man into ape again :)

[Count Lippe]

Good one Tsuri!rofl

[Herrmannek]

Haven't they knew that you can't simply cross monkey and human...

[Smok]

Haven't they knew that you can't simply cross monkey and human...


:bash: Soviet people can do everything! :bash:

[Freibier]

Me Stalin, You Jane
good one!
roflroflrofl

[Kitsune]

Is it already April the 1st again? I must have slept away Christmas, damnit...

[joe mama]

This is why the US government was/is developing an army of invincible pig warriors. Those fcuking red apes would have been no match for our capitalist pigsoldiers (literally). The investigative journalist, a Cosmo Kramer, who attempted to reveal this program has been noticeably silent for several years now...coincidence? Highly doubtiful.

[California Joe]

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00113/Uruk-hai_Ringenes_H_113491a.jpg

[joe mama]

hey cali joe, was that pic taken before or after he liberated those heinekens?
(pirate)

[California Joe]

Hahaha. Probably after. I think he's drunk. I love that pic. Dude's got some big guns. He's probably the kids dad.

[Hullebullen]

Scientist Ilia Ivanov was ordered to breed the mutants. He had already tried to create a super-horse by crossing the animals with zebras.

On a sidenote, the off-spring of zebra/horse mating is sterile, I believe. Zebra's also have a notoriously bad temper, much worse than your ordinary horse and zebra bites cause more serious injuries than lions annually in US zoo's...

[Kilgor]

No better story than evil dictators experimenting with insane superweapons. !

[NicNZ]

Meanwhile, regarding those super horses resulting from horse-zebra pairing, it is done commonly. They are called Zorses and are sterile. Alas, no super horses for the Motherland.

[toki]

Meanwhile, regarding those super horses resulting from horse-zebra pairing, it is done commonly. They are called Zorses and are sterile. Alas, no super horses for the Motherland.
and there's also zony (zebra-pony)

http://www.ostrich-world.com/art/zony-front.jpg

[mi35d]

I'm reminded of the South Park episode where Stan is banished from the town and ends up in the PETA village - filled with people who LOVE animals. And not just in a "oooh, aren't you a cuddly doggy-woggy" sort of way.

[Cygnus]

No better story than evil dictators experimenting with insane superweapons. !

Well, looks like the Iraqis were also involved...

I guess it must be some Baatist people that were responsible for the film / vidcap "Iraq Love". They were probably making Human / Donkey hybreed... Manually!