Subject: If MEN wrote for Cosmo

[farmgirl]

Subject: If MEN wrote for Cosmo

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!
Knowing that there is only one of you he can only
settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far
from being an issue, this can bring you closer
together. Why not get some of your old college
roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive,
maybe you should let him be with your friends without
you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral
*** on him and cook him a nice meal while you think
about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral *** on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a
great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this.
His offer to allow you to perform oral *** on him is
totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a
day; then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be
encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove
his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young
single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
rekindle your relationship better than the man being
away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the
house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is
when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to
do when he gets home is for you and your best friend
to perform oral *** on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If
you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask
your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape
yourself while doing this, and present it to your
husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish
guilt, perform oral *** on him and cook him a
delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should
seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very
stressful and time consuming. *** should be available
to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your
man as much as you should; He should never have to
work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!
Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
*** on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and
goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps
you've forgotten To cook him a nice meal.

[Merik]

Sounds like a personal problem to me p-)

[Dennis G]

:lol:

[California Joe]

I need a sandwich

[Haiw]

Bitch, make me a sandwich! (www.bitchmakemeasandwich.com/)

[farmgirl]

I need a sandwich


While I'm up.... did you want a cold beer too? :roll:

[Fargin]

Farmgurl = teh phunney rofl

[Haiw]

I'll have some milk. And a sandwich too. Now go!

[California Joe]

You're swell. Thanks babe. *pretending not to see eye rolling smiley*

[farmgirl]

You're swell. Thanks babe. *pretending not to see eye rolling smiley*


I keep telling you that I'm the perfect woman, Joe...... ;)

[Haiw]

And we're the perfect assholes. Now where's my milk goddamnit?!

[farmgirl]

And we're the perfect assholes. Now where's my milk goddamnit?!



You're grounded, Haiw. :|

[Haiw]

...which means you'll do all the shopping this week. woot

It always works out the way you plan. :D

[California Joe]

Smooth Haiw. Real smooth. Now no one's getting any......

sandwiches.

[memphiz]

men should write for cosmo, who every replied to those questions is a genious(sp)

[Haiw]

Hey CJ, don't blame all the 'female emancipation' crap on me. Blame the system. Not me. Nu-uh. I'm a victim myself.

[farmgirl]

Smooth Haiw. Real smooth. Now no one's getting any......

sandwiches.


I'll get you a sandwich, Joe..... just not Haiw... cause he had the nerve to try to order me around.....

he'll learn one of these days..... :cantbeli:

[Haiw]

Geez...old women just can't take jokes. :(

Ok. Could you PLEASE get me some milk?
From the cow I mean.

[California Joe]

He's young.

[Haiw]

Damn old people. Why don't you just go back where you came from!

[farmgirl]

Geez...old women just can't take jokes. :(

Ok. Could you PLEASE get me some milk?
From the cow I mean.


Old women????? :bash: You're losing ground fast there boy :|

[memphiz]

Smooth Haiw. Real smooth. Now no one's getting any......

sandwiches.


I'll get you a sandwich, Joe..... just not Haiw... cause he had the nerve to try to order me around.....

he'll learn one of these days..... :cantbeli:
can i PLEASE have a samich to

[Haiw]

You see? You can't take a joke! :P

I'll put it in logic.

First I stated "Old women can't take a joke", which means: unability to take a joke implies being an old women. Then you couldn't take my joke. Logic forces me to draw the conclusion you're an old woman... ;)

Hey, don't blame me...blame logic!

[farmgirl]

Smooth Haiw. Real smooth. Now no one's getting any......

sandwiches.


I'll get you a sandwich, Joe..... just not Haiw... cause he had the nerve to try to order me around.....

he'll learn one of these days..... :cantbeli:
can i PLEASE have a samich to


See how easy that was???? of course you may have a sandwich. :hug:

[Haiw]

Now you're just playing favorites. Teachers shouldn't do that you know.

[farmgirl]

Now you're just playing favorites. Teachers shouldn't do that you know.

suck up to me a little bit, Haiw.... then I'll be nice to you. It's the way it works. ;)

[Haiw]

Sucking up...well...sucks.

[farmgirl]

Sucking up...well...sucks.


That's where you're wrong.... you just don't know how to do it....


right joe??? p-)

[Haiw]

From sandwiches to polesmoking in three posts.... Good job farmgirl!

[California Joe]

Right sweets.

By the way, I love your hair pulled back like that. ;)

[farmgirl]

From sandwiches to polesmoking in three posts.... Good job farmgirl!



Who said anything about polesmoking???? :roll:

dirty boy!!!

[memphiz]

Smooth Haiw. Real smooth. Now no one's getting any......

sandwiches.


I'll get you a sandwich, Joe..... just not Haiw... cause he had the nerve to try to order me around.....

he'll learn one of these days..... :cantbeli:
can i PLEASE have a samich to


See how easy that was???? of course you may have a sandwich. :hug:
:hug: thanks Farmgirl

HAHAHAHA Haiw i got a sandwich and you didnt the teacher likes me more than you. NANANANANANA *sticking out tongue*









*hides in corner and eats samich*

[ßå$tĮТHÏ¿ð]

Hey im the cool guy with the www.bitchmakemeasandwich.com in my address so its madatory I get a a sandwich or at least a 1/4 of memphiz's or something.

As for the cosmo people if guys did write in it eventually it would turn into a flamming metro****** magazine.

^ I managed not to swear...can I have a sandwich please :lol:

[farmgirl]

Hey im the cool guy with the www.bitchmakemeasandwich.com in my address so its madatory I get a a sandwich or at least a 1/4 of memphiz's or something.

As for the cosmo people if guys did write in it eventually it would turn into a flamming metro****** magazine.

^ I managed not to swear...can I have a sandwich please :lol:


you may have a sandwich too. :)

[Jack Mehoff]

I like girls

[pAt]

what about me ive been a good little boy :oops:

[EvanL]

I should get a sandwhich.

[farmgirl]

I like girls


good to know, Jack..... ;)

[memphiz]

Hey im the cool guy with the www.bitchmakemeasandwich.com in my address so its madatory I get a a sandwich or at least a 1/4 of memphiz's or something.

As for the cosmo people if guys did write in it eventually it would turn into a flamming metro****** magazine.

^ I managed not to swear...can I have a sandwich please :lol:

HAHA everybody but Haiw gets a sandwich
HAHA.....wait 1/4 of my sandwich???

[Jack Mehoff]

Geez...old women just can't take jokes. :(

Ok. Could you PLEASE get me some milk?
From the cow I mean.

Nice pickup line

[farmgirl]

what about me ive been a good little boy :oops:


Since you've been good, Pat.... :)

[farmgirl]

I should get a sandwhich.

Why is that, Evan? Do you think you're entitled to a sandwich??? ;)

[EvanL]

I should get a sandwhich.

Why is that, Evan? Do you think you're entitled to a sandwich??? ;)
Only if your in the middle.

[farmgirl]

I should get a sandwhich.

Why is that, Evan? Do you think you're entitled to a sandwich??? ;)
Only if your in the middle.


Well then..... :oops:
I'm at a loss.....

[memphiz]

I should get a sandwhich.

Why is that, Evan? Do you think you're entitled to a sandwich??? ;)
Only if your in the middle.
Good one ;)

[ßå$tĮТHÏ¿ð]

memphiz sorry for stealing some of your sandwich....besides i got rank (check my stars) ;)

[memphiz]

memphiz sorry for stealing some of your sandwich....besides i got rank (check my stars) ;)
thats cool, id share my sandwich with any fellow Canadian, i want to get a second star soon

[Haiw]

HAHA everybody but Haiw gets a sandwich
HAHA.....wait 1/4 of my sandwich???
*kicks memphiz in the face and steals his sandwich*
You were saying? Punk.

[Roger Rabbit]

since when did a Eurowussie hippy resort to violence? Obviously you would go to the streets and protest about the Imperialism of the Sandwich owners and how they only wanted sandwiches so they could oppress the Sausage Roll people.

[Haiw]

How could a right-winger without friends like you know?

[memphiz]

HAHA everybody but Haiw gets a sandwich
HAHA.....wait 1/4 of my sandwich???
*kicks memphiz in the face and steals his sandwich*
You were saying? Punk.
*wakes up ours later with wood chips in mouth,and spits out teeth*
*finds Haiw throws a hammer at his balls, and steals whats left of sandwich*

[Haiw]

*bulldozes memphiz's house, kills his dog, rapes his sister, and then slits throats of entire family with blunt knife.*
*then eats the cat and burns everything*
Expensive sandwich huh?

[memphiz]

*goes to Haiw's house and hires a hooker to tie string to his ********s while i tie the other end to the bumper of my car, then speed down the street to the nearest parking lot a does donuts while Haiw dangles from the bumper by his balls. then when he is "ripped" loose, bleeding intensly from his genitalia, i get in a steam roller and back over his legs. trapping him.
then goes back to his house seaching for sandwich, relizes it has been eaten returns to the trapped Haiw, pulls out a spoon and slices open his stomach, removes sandwich, takes intestine and wraps it around his head and leaves. minutes later returns with little gerbals and hamsters and inserts them into Haiw's open wound so the can eat him alive. then pours gasoline all over, and lights him on fire....kills rest of family later*

damn right its an expensive sandwich...
- it would've been worse if you took like a beer from me...

[memphiz]

*goes to Haiw's house and hires a hooker to tie string to his ********s while i tie the other end to the bumper of my car, then speed down the street to the nearest parking lot a does donuts while Haiw dangles from the bumper by his balls. then when he is "ripped" loose, bleeding intensly from his genitalia, i get in a steam roller and back over his legs. trapping him.
then goes back to his house seaching for sandwich, relizes it has been eaten returns to the trapped Haiw, pulls out a spoon and slices open his stomach, removes sandwich, takes intestine and wraps it around his head and leaves. minutes later returns with little gerbals and hamsters and inserts them into Haiw's open wound so they can eat him alive. then pours gasoline all over, and lights him on fire....kills rest of family later*

damn right its an expensive sandwich...
- it would've been worse if you took like a beer from me...

[memphiz]

*goes to Haiw's house and hires a hooker to tie string to his ********s while i tie the other end to the bumper of my car, then speed down the street to the nearest parking lot a does donuts while Haiw dangles from the bumper by his balls. then when he is "ripped" loose, bleeding intensly from his genitalia, i get in a steam roller and back over his legs. trapping him.
then goes back to his house seaching for sandwich, relizes it has been eaten returns to the trapped Haiw, pulls out a spoon and slices open his stomach, removes sandwich, takes intestine and wraps it around his head and leaves. minutes later returns with little gerbals and hamsters and inserts them into Haiw's open wound so they can eat him alive. then pours gasoline all over, and lights him on fire....kills rest of family later*

damn right its an expensive sandwich...
- it would've been worse if you took like a beer from me...

[Haiw]

*haunts memphiz for the rest of his life as a ghost*
So what're ya gonna do now huh? Call the ****ing ghost busters?

[memphiz]

*haunts memphiz for the rest of his life as a ghost*
So what're ya gonna do now huh? Call the f*** ghost busters?
hell yeh ill call the ghost busters

*plays ghost buster theme song*

sorry about triple post

[Haiw]

BTW I killed you first...so that triple post isn't even possible in the first place.

[FriFraFro]

See what you get when men write for cosmo.... :roll:

[farmgirl]

See what you get when men write for cosmo.... :roll:


rofl yeah.... and no *** tips.... obviously not for Cosmo! ;)

[memphiz]

BTW I killed you first...so that triple post isn't even possible in the first place.

umm....i did it all as a ghost, yeh thats right :D

[Haiw]

Cheating ****.

[memphiz]

:D this is fun