Things to ponder

[Deftoner]

Careful, this might actually make you maggots think...

THINGS TO PONDER


- Can you cry under water?
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
- Do you ever wonder why you gave me you read Orsmnet in the first place?



all from www.orsm.net.

[.666 Caliber]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................................
LOL. They do make you think.....some of them.

[MBG]

- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


That one's great.

[Hellfish]

I don't think you have to be important - assassinations are politically motivated killings. Most average people aren't political enough to be assasinated.

[Conga]

- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


Because they're easier to fold, I do it almost everyday.

[mi35d]

Exactly. Sometimes in an effort to be creatively funny comedians or pundits write a line like those above that anyone with an IQ over 50 should be able to say, "duh" in response.

Years ago Andy Rooney rattled on in his closing bit about cotton balls in pill bottles. "I can't understand why they do this", blah, blah, blah. In typical CBS news fashion he didn't even bother to do some basic research like, I don't know...call a drug company. Cotton is placed in the bottle to prevent shifting of the pills during transit. Duh. Don't want the pills rubbed down to powder.

[demotivater]

Because they're easier to fold, I do it almost everyday.
I did it for six years - speed folder here!