"Your Family Might Be Too Army If...."

[DANJANOU]

Don't know if this has been posted here before, but I just found it over at www.army.ca and had to share it.


YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE TOO ARMY IF....
(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

* Your wife's two favourite shades of lipstick are green and light green

* Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals,
backbriefs, and cover your convoy checklist.

* Your kids call the yard their AOR.

* You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your floorboard
as a part of a tune-up.

* Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights.

* Your kids call their mother "Household 6."

* Your kids use the "F" word at least five times in every sentence.

* Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.

* Your house has range cards posted by every window.

* You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.

* You make your daughter fill out a leave pass on Prom Night.

* Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."

* Your wife calls foreplay "prepping the objective."

* Your wife conducts an AAR after ***.

* Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at Walmart.

* Your kids salute their grandparents.

* Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your CO's.

* Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.

* You divorced your wife and then you held a "Change of Command"
ceremony.

* All your possessions are military issue.

* Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.

* Your kids pull fireguard.

* Your older kids call the youngest one "FNG"

[Hullebullen]

* Your older kids call the youngest one "FNG"

rofl

...now that's funny...

[Sierra]

rofl
Thats Great!

[Falco]

lol :lol:

[Beowulf]

* Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at Walmart.

hilarious

[Uncle Sam]

Very good. :lol:

[memphiz]

thats awsome :lol:

[Trigger]

woot

[Merik]

* Your older kids call the youngest one "FNG"

rofl

...now that's funny...

I was gonna say the same thing! rofl

[WARPIG]

please add these, courtesy of You might be to hooah if:
-When your family gets together, you call them "Slice Elements".
-You butter your toast with a bayonet.
-If your kids get a wrong answer in school they immediately drop and knock out 20.
-Your personal license plate says "At Ease".
-All of your kids' names begin with "AR".
-Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.
-Anyone using the TV remote control must dispatch it first.
-Your kids are hand receipt holders.
-Your kids practice Drill and Ceremony at recess.
-Your dog's name is "Ranger".
-Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.
-Your kids sound off with "Airborne" or "Air Assault" every time their left foot hits the ground.
-Your wife won't buy anything unless it has a National Stock Number.
-Your kids have to wax and buff the floor before going to school.
-When your dog died, he got a 21-gun salute at Arlington.
-Your kids call their teachers "REMFs" and the other kids at school "legs."
-Your daughter's dolls wear starched uniforms.
-Your daughter complained that her new Barbie's hair wasn't within regulation and then cut it.
-If your kids fail a test, they get a Letter of Reprimand and an Article 15.


And these courtesy of warpig

- Your return address on all outgoing mail is an 8 digit grid

- your kids tell you the "LOGPAC is inbound" when mom comes home from grocery shopping. Mom calls it a CLASS I resupply.

- the family calls mom "broke ****" because she is on profile due to pregnancy. Mom argues that she is just transporting the reinforcement.

- your kids perform a PLF when they dismount the swing at the playground

- when *** with your wife involves calling cadence (probably at double time)

[DANJANOU]

Nice additions warpig. :lol:

[James]

During gradeschool in Germany, courtesy of the U.S. Army, my parents (both Army) would come up with short homework assignements to keep me occupied on summer mornings. Dad was fond of creating word problems that had me, about 9 or 10 years old, figuring out how much stuff (ammo, water, and chow) a squad sized combat patrol would need for a patrol of however many days or weeks. I also had to figure out weight for all this stuff, and how to spread the load. As the summer progressed, the patrols got longer, and I'd have to figure out not only how many helos the patrol would need for insertion, but how many times they'd need resupply from higher, because they couldn't hump everything.

Now I look back and smile.

[Merik]

During gradeschool in Germany, courtesy of the U.S. Army, my parents (both Army) would come up with short homework assignements to keep me occupied on summer mornings. Dad was fond of creating word problems that had me, about 9 or 10 years old, figuring out how much stuff (ammo, water, and chow) a squad sized combat patrol would need for a patrol of however many days or weeks. I also had to figure out weight for all this stuff, and how to spread the load. As the summer progressed, the patrols got longer, and I'd have to figure out not only how many helos the patrol would need for insertion, but how many times they'd need resupply from higher, because they couldn't hump everything.

Now I look back and smile.

Good math skills ;)

[Hullebullen]

^That's hilarious, James!