Telemarketer stories, anti tactics

[OzMan]

I have a lot of telemarketers call my house, constantly ****ouncing my last name wrong, pitching bullsh** claims, blah, blah, blah. I wanna know how y'all deal with them, and any good stories with 'em? Any good tactics to use to scare them off, or just mess around with them?

And about half the time I don't even give them the time to pitch me. When the caller ID says, "Out of Area" and doesn't give a number, I say hello, wait, hello again, and if I hear nothing, just hang up.

Or whenever they mis****ounce my name, I just say, "Nope, wrong number. There's no one by that name here." Heh, I'm not even lying to them...

Probably the only really good thing I've done with them is play a sound effects CD in the background of police sirens and gunshots, and then ask the person to send a sales rep to my house, but they said, "No, I don't want to put my colleagues in that kind of neighborhood."

Or I'll tell them that I'm moving soon, to some foreign country.

[Seraphim]

If your really bored, heres what you do.

You act "slow" and you keep talking to them and waste their time aswell...like keep repeating questions and just say stuff that has nothing to do with what they are trying to sell and soon enough they will get fed up and hang up.

[Haiw]

Or start questioning the telemarketeer... 'Why do you do this job?' 'Are you happy?' 'How is your *** life?'

[Fintin]

if im bored and have nothing to do i ask them to hold for a second while i let the dog out...set the phone down, open front door close front door....go back to phone let them give pitch for a bit...yell "NOOOO!!!" ask to hold again drop phone run to door open door...wait... slam door pick up phone crying and explin your dog just died and its all their fault

[memphiz]

my cousin became a telemarketer at 17 and somehow became a supervisor at 18, he fired people 4 times his age, :lol:

i got this from Sienfield:
when they call say your busy at the moment and ask them for their number to call them back.

i dislike telemarketers very much, they cant say my last name right either, ,i dont see how its so hard to ****ounce

[WARPIG]

My brother and I heard a telemarketer game called the suicide game. We would see which one of us could fake depression and then suicide with the telemarketer in hopes that they would "talk us down." We usually got the giggles before that though.
I think we enjoyed saying... you wanna hear my impression of....... and then doing an impression of someone or an imitation. I used to try and tell dirty jokes.

Now I usually take the phone to the bathroom and fake a really rancid session on the toilet. I flush several times and make grunting noises while they pitch. As soon as they laugh or giggle I get mad at them for laughing and hang up.

[memphiz]

your sick WARPIG :D

[Midtown]

I try to sell them stock in my company I work for.

[Maverick77]

Get some of those soundboards runnin off www.ebaumsworld.com

Talk to them with that

[Sayeret]

One time this solicitor pounded on my front door. I got behind a wall and tried see who it was since if it was a solicter like I thought I didn't want him to know I was home. I peeked around the corner of the wall and this guy yells "You can't hide from me in there!" I grabbed the phone and dialed 911. By the time I was done with the call the guy left. Like ten minutes later a police officer came to my house and was talking to me. She asked me a few questions and walked around my house to make sure the guy still wasn't there. About an hour later my dad comes home. I'm telling him about how this guy when theres pounding at the door again. Its the same guy as before and my dad goes outside and yells at him for like ten minutes. He apologizes and said that he is tired of being ignored by people so that is why he pounded on the door and yelled at me.

[Salty Dog]

when they ask for the person (may or may not neccesarily be you) start to cry a little and say ".....he/she...ummmm...oh goddddd......passed away......about.....3 months.....ago....god it's so hard......." then they will never call again.

[Seraphim]

Two mormon guys came to my friends house this one time, and they were dress like normal guys. So my friend opens the door and one of the mormons says " We want you" my friend replies, "who the f*** is this"...LoL. rofl

[memphiz]

i have small window at my front door that you can kind of see through, ,and whenever a solicitor comes to my door i just stand in the window looking at them, and they cant do nothing so then they leave

then this one time me and my mom were driving home and we saw Jahova's walking up and down our street, ,and we drove passed this one guy and he clearly saw me and my mom, then we pulled into our garage and the jahova ran to our front door, and my mom yelled when we got inside"if he asks for me im not home" and he heard that too ,so after i stood in the window for about 5 min the JW didnt leave, so idecided to open the door and he asks "is your mother or father home?" and i said "No, why" and he looked really confused and then sad and put down his head and left....what a day

[Ichhabe]

I just was in the door comming from Lebanon on leave. As I was unpacking the door bell rang.
There they were. Two Jehova Witnesses, smiling. I was dead tired after a real long flight and was not in the mode to argue them off. I looked at themwith a stare that was not nice.
They presented themself, and asked if I was doing my conscription service since I was in uniform. I said no. And then they asked why I was in uniform. Cause I just got home from Lebanon, and was fokkin tired. They looked at eachother. And suddenly left as if they were on fire.
After that day, I never had JW on my door again. Ever!!!
Wonder if they secretly branded my door or something? rofl

[Ichhabe]

sorry

[Ichhabe]

sorry, something weird happened

[Romulus]

I'm on the goverment "Do not call" list. Damn and wouldn't you know? It actually works, all but the Maryland State police. Seems those guys can get around calling around for donations.

[UkrainianAmerican]

In US if someone calls, and u tell them not to call ever again and they do. Get yourself a LAWYERS, and you are GUARANTEED to goet 10-15 k from the telemarketing company for harassment.

[Romulus]

In US if someone calls, and u tell them not to call ever again and they do. Get yourself a LAWYERS, and you are GUARANTEED to goet 10-15 k from the telemarketing company for harassment.

Ain't America great? :D

[UkrainianAmerican]

In US if someone calls, and u tell them not to call ever again and they do. Get yourself a LAWYERS, and you are GUARANTEED to goet 10-15 k from the telemarketing company for harassment.

Ain't America great? :D
It suure as hell is!

[AFG]

I have a lot of telemarketers call my house, constantly ****ouncing my last name wrong, pitching bullsh** claims, blah, blah, blah. I wanna know how y'all deal with them, and any good stories with 'em? Any good tactics to use to scare them off, or just mess around with them?

And about half the time I don't even give them the time to pitch me. When the caller ID says, "Out of Area" and doesn't give a number, I say hello, wait, hello again, and if I hear nothing, just hang up.

Or whenever they mis****ounce my name, I just say, "Nope, wrong number. There's no one by that name here." Heh, I'm not even lying to them...

Probably the only really good thing I've done with them is play a sound effects CD in the background of police sirens and gunshots, and then ask the person to send a sales rep to my house, but they said, "No, I don't want to put my colleagues in that kind of neighborhood."

Or I'll tell them that I'm moving soon, to some foreign country.

lol bet ya 10 bucks they have a harder time ****ouncing my name...

Uy lmao



I'm on the goverment "Do not call" list. Damn and wouldn't you know? It actually works, all but the Maryland State police. Seems those guys can get around calling around for donations.

that thing is great. havent had a telemarketer call in 2 months (and that was just 1 occasion), signed up in oct :D

[buckeyedoc]

My grandfather-in-law is a staunch, conservative Baptist preacher. My wife and I were over there eating dinner with them one night. In the middle of dinner, the door bell rang. Imagine that, it was 2 JW's. He shook their hands and introduced himself.....without the Baptist preacher part, of course. He was very cordial and had them sit down and let them go through all of their happy horse crap. 10-15 minutes later, I hear, "That's interesting, but I have one question." He stood in front of the front door, took out his Bible and broke into one of his hell-fire, damnation sermons. They just sat there with the blankest stare on their face. About 5 minutes into his sermon, the doorbell rang. It was 2 other JW's looking for their "friends". He invited those 2 in and continued with his sermon. He preached, and I mean PREACHED to them for about 30 minutes. He blocked the front door so they couldn't leave. To this day, there hasn't been a JW knock at this door. Classic!!!

[memphiz]

HAHAHA

[wulfstan]

I don't have a phone, i live in the woods. With guns. And a PC.

[Stavka]

One classic is doing the "Wassup" routine:

- Hello?
- Hello, Im calling from CocaCola telemarketing... (dont let him finish)
- WASSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?!
- Hehe, thank you im fine... (dont let him finish here either)
- WASSAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!! yO Dookie! Pick up da phone!
(let mate pick up phone in the other room)
- Yo?
-WASSAAAAAAAP!
And so forth, youve all seen it.

Whenever Mormons and Jehovas Witnesses knock on my door i invite the in for coffee. I have a set protocol of questions for them, including such things as:
"Ok, in the eyes of God, who aint goin to heaven? Skeletor or Dr. Doom?"
"What does God think of Kebabs? Cuz I aint signing up for nothing that doesnt include arab cuicine in the afterlife."
And so forth.

One great thing about Jehovas Witnesses is that according to their book of knowhow, there are only a limited number of spaces available in heaven, said number being 640 000 or ssomthing like that. Ask how many witnesses there are and compare this number to the available places in heaven.
"What, so youre saying that you arent going to be able to fit all members into heaven? ****s sake man, thats bad management right there!"

[Marsuitor]

One of them called me at some point. I answered the phone and this guy starts going on about whatever **** he was selling. This was after having four or five of them calling previously that day. The way i got him to hang up was to start screaming, think it was some sort of sonic deathcry or something :roll:. Kept it going for about 15-20 seconds, and when i was done the phone already had the "hung up" sound going.
Still haven't got rid of the problem yet...

[OzMan]

All of that Jehova's Witness talk reminds me of some comedian (Robin Williams, I think) who was talking about answering the door naked when they come by, and when they ask, "Have you found Jesus?", he tells them, "No, but why don't you step inside and we'll look for him."

[Romulus]

The way i got him to hang up was to start screaming, think it was some sort of sonic deathcry or something

rofl

Like the worlds most annoying sound Jim Carey makes in dumb and dumber.