Military Related Jokes !!!!!

[Masai]

Troop cracks a joke about the drill sergeant on the parade ground.

Sergeant : Did you think that was funny ?

Troop : Sir, no Sir !

Sergeant : Do you see that tree ? (points to a tree on the horizon)

Troop : Sir, yes Sir !

Sergeant : Well go ask it if it thought it was funny!

Troop runs off into the distance, comes back about 30 mins later

Troop : Sir, the tree thought it WAS funny and would like to discuss it with you sir !

[Masai]

a Troop's parents die in an accident, the drill Sergeant calls him in and says " Troop, both your parents are dead. Dismissed!"

The troop turn catatonic with grief and has to be discharged from the army.

Staff Sergeant craps him out about using tact...

a few months later another troop's older brother dies.

Drill Sergeant call everyone to the parade ground.

Stands in front of the troops and shouts " EVeryone who thinks they still have an older brother, take 3 steps forward !..... Eversmann where the hell do you think you are going ??"

[Buckeye67]

Did this just yesterday, mate. (http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=87446) :)

[Asheren]

Drunken geral and his adjutant are walking back to their base form party. Path lead throu old forest and it was well after midnight.
Suddenly something is moving in the bush.
General puled his gun and fired few times then told his adjutant:
-Go see what it was.
Afetr a while.
-Sir it was a cow.
-No cows wander in forest at night it was a wild cow.
Near base something move again in bush.
General shot once more.
-Go check it.
Few minutes later.
-Sir i must inform you that you shot a wild wh..re.

[Alpha Leader]

Not exactly jokes but funny a0nyhow.

Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations

I don`t post them all , just the ones i like.



You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds

When your attack is going really well, its an ambush

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

Tracers work both ways.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

[Alpha Leader]

The Firing Squad
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?'' The man thought for a moment.

''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?'' The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''



Got it from this site
http://miljokes.com/

[Connor Oz]

Did this just yesterday, mate. (http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=87446) :)

Lol, no-one liked my thread then. Fine I'll just get my jacket.

[Alpha Leader]

oops sorry Connor.I just got to eeger.Sit down and have beer.

[mudbunny]

*crickets*