forum member limericks

[farmgirl]

okay....now that you've all cut your teeth on haiku.... you can start trying to write limericks instead.... they are far more challenging. Let's see what you can come up with.... here are a couple to get you started.....


As Tane's job often forced him to wander,
The meaning of life, he sometimes did ponder
Have a good one he'd say,
As he went on his way
Just some thoughts; my wisdom... don't squander!




There once was an artist named Joe,
Who drew for the navy for dough
tanks and guns were the fashion
naked farmgirls his true passion
but with no slip.... she says it's NO GO p-)



dazzle me ;)

[Fintin]

are the only rules the aabba rhyme?

[farmgirl]

are the only rules the aabba rhyme?

here's the official definition....."A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba."

[California Joe]

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I think so Brain, but if they called them "sad meals", kids wouldn't buy them.

[WARPIG]

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I think so Brain, but where can I get a tub full of meat flavored jello at this hour?

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I think so Brain, but I thought you were alergic to vaseline and latex?

[farmgirl]

another:



Our Nawlins the sweet cajun peach,
Remains to most, out of reach
says her husband, "I am..."
a most fortunate man....
scram boys, or a lesson I'll teach"

[farmgirl]

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I think so Brain, but where can I get a tub full of meat flavored jello at this hour?

Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I think so Brain, but I thought you were alergic to vaseline and latex?


You boys are SOOOOOOOO cheating...... :roll:

[WARPIG]

"It's not really cheating, because it's your dog.... get it? It's your dog."

[EvanL]

They came from all over just to see her teach
The kids,boys and men would peep
So many detentions she gave
That i'll serve to my grave
Yet she always seems out of my reach.

[farmgirl]

"It's not really cheating, because it's your dog.... get it? It's your dog."


rofl now THAT was funny.... sounds like a good limerick in the making.... see what you can do about that Warpig..... ;)

[Jack Mehoff]

ewwww....old people and their libidos




















Just kidding

[Fintin]

jack how he likes to wack;
all day long smack smack smack;
the room now smells like poo;
all cover in sticky goo;
on it he slips and his neck did crack


teaching all day;
at night she must play;
playing the forum field;
a pen she does wield;
correcting what us boys all say

dirty pictures he does draw
spending all day lounging in the straw;
getting off on his rifle stocks
pondering the hole in his socks;
a picture of farmgirl he will draw

[WARPIG]

"It's not really cheating, because it's your dog.... get it? It's your dog."


rofl now THAT was funny.... sounds like a good limerick in the making.... see what you can do about that Warpig..... ;)

Oops, wrong thread. It was a quote from that movie.. uh.. Road Trip!

But, uh.. I'll work on a dog and peanut butter limerick.. I guess.

[gaz]

Hank recently got the title of dad
So we don't see him as much as we had
he now listens to his little one snoring
but while he's absent the forum's more boring
and he's missing AK-lover going mad.

[ibstolidude]

There once was a teacher, a real jewel;
so hot that the 10th graders would drool.
they'd dream of grabbing her hair
and then smacking back there.
How much to teach my home-school?

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=197699&highlight=hair#197699

[Fintin]

why did everyone forget Nawlins;
the first one to make us suck or guts ins....;
oh well, we had maine finn for a bit,
i guess we scared her away with our lack of wit;
from here on out farmgirls it the votes are ins

[ibstolidude]

why did everyone forget Nawlins;
the first one to make us suck or guts ins....;
oh well, we had maine finn for a bit,
i guess we scared her away with our lack of wit;
from here on out farmgirls it the votes are ins

Nawlins is a cutie that I agree
but in that lies a problem, you see.
Cute at 18 and cuter at 22
but I know what her husband can do;
frankly I don't wish to swing from a tree.

[farmgirl]

There once was a teacher, a real jewel;
so hot that the 10th graders would drool.
they'd dream of grabbing her hair
and then smacking back there.
How much to teach my home-school?

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=197699&highlight=hair#197699

Stoli... you made me laugh out loud with that one..... you are bad....

oh yeah... and no charge for the schooling p-)

[farmgirl]

a great mystery... Mocking Loudly Died
are you man or hot chick? the boys cried
tunes and asians his passions
while sporting hip fashions
care we... if regarding his ***, he has lied?

[Nawlins]

why did everyone forget Nawlins;
the first one to make us suck or guts ins....;
oh well, we had maine finn for a bit,
i guess we scared her away with our lack of wit;
from here on out farmgirls it the votes are ins

Nawlins is a cutie that I agree
but in that lies a problem, you see.
Cute at 18 and cuter at 22
but I know what her husband can do;
frankly I don't wish to swing from a tree.

That made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

[MolliG]

Haiw the crazy Dutch lad
I think he's quite mad
He wants James' nieces
But James'll blow him to pieces
Making Haiw quite sad.

First attempt, sorry about the ****ness. :lol:

[cut]

There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The drawing was fine,
The colour was devine,
But the scent - alas - was a failure.


There once was a gril who begat
Three brats, by name Tat, Nat and Pat
It was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding,
When she found the was no tit for Tat

[Tane Angle]

I must agree with stolidude's post,
Nawlins' mate is stronger that most.
Her husband may clown,
but he can beat us all down.
I'd just as soon avoid being toast.
p-)

[farmgirl]

I must agree with stolidude's post,
Nawlins' mate is stronger that most.
Her husband's may clown,
but he can be us all down.
I'd just as soon avoid being toast.
p-)


rofl nicely done Tane.... and true... so true ;)

[Nawlins]

I must agree with stolidude's post,
Nawlins' mate is stronger that most.
Her husband's may clown,
but he can be us all down.
I'd just as soon avoid being toast.
p-)

Haha... that's clever. :D

[Fintin]

walkin the streets in my big shoes;
the bottoms covered in dog poos;
no wait its that of a monkey;
could tell cause the smells so funkey;
DAMN dirty ape foos

[Haiw]

I must agree with stolidude's post,
Nawlins' mate is stronger that most.
Her husband may clown,
but he can be us all down.
I'd just as soon avoid being toast.
p-)
Tane Angle language for "He'll kick your ass!" :D

[Nawlins]

I must agree with stolidude's post,
Nawlins' mate is stronger that most.
Her husband may clown,
but he can be us all down.
I'd just as soon avoid being toast.
p-)
Tane Angle language for "He'll kick your ass!" :D

Yeah, so take the hint.

[California Joe]

simmah don nah..... ;)

[Haiw]

*sending fax to Jack Mehoff*

[mocking_loudly_died]

a great mystery... Mocking Loudly Died
are you man or hot chick? the boys cried
tunes and asians his passions
while sporting hip fashions
care we... if regarding his ***, he has lied?

This is the first time I looked at this thread.
To funny. rofl

[farmgirl]

glad you approve, Mocking.... not my best work... but I try ;)

[Trigger]

I'm honored to call some here 'friend',
But if feels like we're nearing the end,
Reading 'General Discussion'
Gave me a concussion,
I'll see you around now and then

Trig

[farmgirl]

I'm honored to call some here 'friend',
But if feels like we're nearing the end,
Reading 'General Discussion'
Gave me a concussion,
I'll see you around now and then

Trig



Trig.... please don't gooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[James]

There once was a man from Nantucket
His... was so long he could...

Oh, never mind.

[Beowulf]

I seen England
I seen France
I seen Nawlins' underpants....teehee

[James]

I'm honored to call some here 'friend',
But if feels like we're nearing the end,
Reading 'General Discussion'
Gave me a concussion,
I'll see you around now and then

Trig

You can avoid that heated first forum
Though it is overseen by a competent quorum
In Off Topic and Humor
You won't get a tumor
But you might find an entertaining discussion

[Fintin]

i think i wet the bed;
jack just broke my sled;
oh well the snows all gone;
as farmgirl tokes th bong;
her and joe should wed.....

[Maine Finn]

I'm a poet... I can do this....

I knew a lad named Jerry,
who proudly hailed from Derry,
loved by a girl from York,
who fell on a fork,
and no longer was very merry.


:cantbeli:

Or maybe not....

[Fintin]

its ok youll get it some day finn;
just alittle work and youll win;
just eat some shepards pie;
and never say good bye;
ouch i steped on a pin

[farmgirl]

I seen England
I seen France
I seen Nawlins' underpants....teehee


shhhh
apparently you didn't see the limericks of warning regarding Nawlins' other half p-)

[Nawlins]

I seen England
I seen France
I seen Nawlins' underpants....teehee


shhhh
apparently you didn't see the limericks of warning regarding Nawlins' other half p-)

whoops... p-)

[Fintin]

oh where is my hairbrush;
i think i lost it in the rush;
my scooter broke down;
on my face was a frown;
now my hairbrush is like mush....

[Fintin]

im the quiet kid that no ones ever known;
sitting in the corner all alone;
finding out who i want to be;
only longing for my soul to live free;
now just letting my true colors shown

[Tane Angle]

Very good limerick, Fintin.
Don't sweat it, you're fitting in.
I think we're all a bit of the kid
who went to the corner and hid
Just remember, no ones alone.

[Kenshin]

This is a journey they say;
Its a long lonely highway;
you stay in lane;
or zip across lanes;
Same at the end you got a toll to pay;

[Kenshin]

I wish I have more time;
To do things i have in mind;
go to a lot of places;
meet lots of new faces;
but life is so unkind;

[Fintin]

running out of time;
as the numbness takes over my mind;
gazing at the screen;
dreaming my own dream;
oh i wish some fun id find

[James]

Everyone can enjoy Easter
As long as you get off your keister
Get out on your legs
And hunt for some eggs
Instead of being an old geezer

[memphiz]

oompy doompy didity dum
i see farmgirls an nawlins bum
i go to smack them on their butt
now im stuck in a rut
james pulls up in his ducati
weilding what looks to be a remington shotty
i pee my pants

[Fintin]

doing impromtu surgery
laughing cause its buglery
saw just ran out of gas
finns arm is sittin im my beer glass
of the medical world i made a mockery

[farmgirl]

A commentary on Invasion of the Body Snatchers in limerick form
(this was actually for a class, and I ran across it the other day.... thought you might get a kick out of it)


Pod Squad

In California there once were some pods,
Who transformed into zombie like frauds.
Not everyone was fooled,
Their resources they pooled,
In a fight to the death for their bods.

Vegetation was running amok.
Our heroes were down on their luck.
Leaving Dodge seemed the answer,
To avoid the growing cancer,
But how, on a pod loaded truck?

Walking amongst them became the new goal,
But sleeplessness soon took a harsh toll,
The battle they lost,
As the lines became crossed.
Until every last one lost his soul.

From the films these things I have gleaned,
Not every enemy is a slobbering fiend.
Friendship comes with a price,
Life is a roll of the dice.
Can you trust on whom you have leaned?

We each must play our own role.
Simplicity not always our goal.
Avoid the drones at all cost.
Lest our souls be lost,
And we fade into that gaping black hole.

[Fintin]

8 hours in line i did wait
to see the best show around, mate
Guster did rock the house
everyone was pumped even the mouse
met a hot girl named kate

[Nawlins]

8 hours in line i did wait
to see the best show around, mate
Guster did rock the house
everyone was pumped even the mouse
met a hot girl named kate

I suck at limericks. Guster kicks ass. I'm jealous of you right now.

[Fintin]

I suck at limericks. Guster kicks ass. I'm jealous of you right now.

well next time you should go with me....(just dont tell your man)....


in a field full of daisies
i feel so lazy
looking into those eyes
the rest of the world says its good byes
you make my mind go all crazy

[farmgirl]

I suck at limericks. Guster kicks ass. I'm jealous of you right now.

well next time you should go with me....(just dont tell your man)....


in a field full of daisies
i feel so lazy
looking into those eyes
the rest of the world says its good byes
you make my mind go all crazy


sillly boy.... her man is here on the board.... she won't have to tell him. He probably already knows.....


watch your back!!!! p-)

[Fintin]

sillly boy.... her man is here on the board.... she won't have to tell him. He probably already knows.....


watch your back!!!! p-)

::ducks and runs::....the poem isnt about her....it was actualy inspired by Rias avitar....::hopes that softens the beating::

[digrar]

Bugger, James got in first on the Nantucket limerick gag :( .

[Ria]

::ducks and runs::....the poem isnt about her....it was actualy inspired by Rias avitar....::hopes that softens the beating::

It's great! I loved it :)

[Fintin]

thoes eyes that i see
let my heart be free
the hand that i hold
makes my soul be bold
girl its so right, you and me

[Fintin]

this thread can not die
for this i cannot lie
its a sad sad day
for redemption pray
for hope i cry

[farmgirl]

this thread can not die
for this i cannot lie
its a sad sad day
for redemption pray
for hope i cry



okay fintin... I hesitate to bring this up, because you are keeping my baby (the thread) alive, but limericks have a certain meter that one needs to try to follow. Read some of mine... not great... but close....

da da dada dadada da da
da da dada dadada da da
da da dada da da
da da dada da da
da da dada dadada da da

see what I mean? ;)

[Fintin]

i thought it was just aabba..ryhme scheme...i guess ill have to try harder

[farmgirl]

i thought it was just aabba..ryhme scheme...i guess ill have to try harder


you're doing fine ;) At least you are trying! :D

[Fintin]

i thought it was just aabba..ryhme scheme...i guess ill have to try harder


you're doing fine ;) At least you are trying! :D

yeah your right...just searched it...http://female-orgasms.com/limericks/...first page that came up on google....but its helpful

[Fintin]

gonna get this thing down one day soon
if i dont i might just croke or eat a spoon
to days the day i get it
not gonna forget it
now i just gotta get one about the moon....


....close

[farmgirl]

gonna get this thing down one day soon
if i dont i might just croke or eat a spoon
to days the day i get it
not gonna forget it
now i just gotta get one about the moon....


....close


nicely done!

[Fintin]

i thought i had found the one
but she turn out to love me none
i went to buy a ring
she just let the phone ring
thanks for telling me the truth hun

...a sad one... :(

[farmgirl]

A commentary on Invasion of the Body Snatchers in limerick form
(this was actually for a class, and I ran across it the other day.... thought you might get a kick out of it)


Pod Squad

In California there once were some pods,
Who transformed into zombie like frauds.
Not everyone was fooled,
Their resources they pooled,
In a fight to the death for their bods.

Vegetation was running amok.
Our heroes were down on their luck.
Leaving Dodge seemed the answer,
To avoid the growing cancer,
But how, on a pod loaded truck?

Walking amongst them became the new goal,
But sleeplessness soon took a harsh toll,
The battle they lost,
As the lines became crossed.
Until every last one lost his soul.

From the films these things I have gleaned,
Not every enemy is a slobbering fiend.
Friendship comes with a price,
Life is a roll of the dice.
Can you trust on whom you have leaned?

We each must play our own role.
Simplicity not always our goal.
Avoid the drones at all cost.
Lest our souls be lost,
And we fade into that gaping black hole.



I'm bringing this thread back, because even if you aren't impressed with my review of IotBS... I am ;) Here are a couple more for you....


Much time penning rhymes did I spend
A sci-fi movie, a topic did lend
I shared them with you
What else could I do?
But seek the approval of friends?

The thoughts that I shared were quite deep
Lessons taken to heart... there to keep
Do you know whom to trust?
Inner peace is a must
Do not follow the crowd like a sheep

[Fintin]

looking for God at the bottom of a bottle
running down the high way at full throttle
i jump the line
and snap my spine
now ill never walk again, but ill wattle

[Vance]

I think it's waddle.

[Fintin]

I think it's waddle.

its called poetic license....now shut the feck up and back me some cookies....

[Fintin]

vancy pants got lost in a trance
smoking his crack he lost his pants
ria slaps him
and calls him tim
now every one but joe laughs and rants

[Fintin]

a strong soldier stood tall
sad as he saw others fall
what can he do
as the bullets flew
he ran to them as they call

[gaz]

There once was a man named Trigger
Who's jokes would make us all s******
He poked Jack with his stick
For being a ****
And in future he should use one that's bigger.

[Fintin]

Tane is a dirty old man
but i must say i am a fan
quick with the wit
knowlege that doenst quit
i wrote this with a crayon

tane, you're dirty...HEHE..

[Haiw]

Don't worry it's just puberty
and it only shows in poetry
a dirty old man
acting naughty against ma'm
but we still think he's real lovely.




Hey at least I tried. :P

[ZaakM433]

Thanks for making me feel worthlessly inadequate guys! Maybe ill start a prose thread...

[farmgirl]

farmgirl took off her shirt,
followed shortly by her farm-skirt.
She was wearing black undies,
for all us to see.
I can't beleive I just wrote this. :oops: p-)

She's going to hit me so hard. :oops:


well.... not for all to see.... p-)

[farmgirl]

I once knew a woman named farmgirl,
whose dress we'd look up when she twirled.
She taught us to speak well -
such an intelligent belle -
won't she return to the MP.net world?!



Fintin ran off with my cane,
Argyll tried to retrieve it, in vain.
So I stole Flagg's Ducati,
picked up farmgirl the hottie,
and drove off to the beaches of Spain! :D



I always end posts the same.
"Have a good one, just some thoughts," I say.
I think it suits me just fine,
its one thing I can claim as mine,
my catchphrase it has became.


This one gets my seal of approval.... but it's Royal's Ducati... ;)