"I had my dogs' vet examine that letter, and I can guarantee it's authentic. It says right on it that they guy is Bush's boss - see? Plus, look at these old-timey suspenders I'm wearing and notice that my dress shirts' sleeves are rolled up - how much more like a real newsman can I look? I'm telling you- this stuff is 100% real, and you should be ashamed of yourself if you don't accept whatever I tell you as gospel truth. Now look deeply into my experienced eyes & listen to my voice - with a baritone as strong as seasoned oak...it's real...it's all real.."