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Thread: The best Spam Message I have ever received

  1. #1
    Purveyor of intelligent reading material Lt-Col A. Tack's Avatar
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    Default The best Spam Message I have ever received

    By Dan Morrill on June 28, 2012

    http://www.cloudave.com/20659/the-be...ever-received/

    Sometimes you just get an awesome spam message that is too sweet not to pass up. Today I got one that simply rocks. Everything left intact, including typos, formatting, and grammar. Simply brilliant.

    Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division

    Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.

    Federal Bureau Of Investigation

    J. Edgar Hoover Building

    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW

    Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

    Website: www.fbi.gov



    Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me?

    I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you?.

    We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private organization.

    Your id which we have in our database been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to inset you in their website as an internet fraudsters and to warn people from having any deals with you. This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the certificate signed, endorsed and stamped as you where instructed in the e-mail below.this is the federal bureau of investigation (fbi) am writing in response to the e-mail you sent to us and am using this medium to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given from the 3rd of January. As stated earlier to have the document endorsed, signed and stamped without failure and you must adhere to this directives to avoid you blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and jailed you for life and all your properties confiscated.

    You failed to comply with our directives and that was the reason why we didn’t hear from you on the 3rd as our director has already been notified about you get the process completed yesterday and right now the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48hours as strictly signed by the fbi director. We have investigated and found out that you didn’t have any idea when the fraudulent deal was committed with your information’s/identity and right now if you id is placed on our website as a wanted person, i believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family because after then it will be announce in all the local channels that you are wanted by the fbi. As a good Christian and a honest man, I decided to see how i could be of help to you because i would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties confiscated all because your information’s was used to carry out a fraudulent transactions, i called the efcc and they directed me to a private attorney who could help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse, sign and stamp the document at the sum of $98.00 usd only and i believe this process is cheaper for you.

    You need to do everything possible within today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the sum of $10.500,000.00 usd.

    I pleaded on your behalf so that this agency could give you till 6/27/2012 so that you could get this process done because i learnt that you were sent several e-mail without getting a response from you, please bear it in mind that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment or you would have to face the law and its consequences once it has befall on you. You would make the payment through western union money transfer with the below details.

    NAME: VINCE DURU ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA TEXT QUESTION:FOR ANSWER: YOU AMOUNT: $98 Senders name======

    Send the payment details to me which are senders name and address, mtcn number, text question and answer used and the amount sent. Make sure that you didn’t hesitate making the payment down to the agency by today so that they could have the certificate endorsed, signed and stamped immediately without any further delay. After all this process has been carried out, then we would have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your compensation funds which is valued at the sum of $10.500,000.00 usd which was suppose to have been transferred to you all this while.

    Note/ all the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You are given a grace today to make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched.

    THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

    ROBERT MUELLER WASHINGTON DC Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C. Federal Bureau Of Investigation J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov
    https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/

  2. #2
    I'll be in the corner. Rattfink's Avatar
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    Hmmm they are really concerned with $1.50 usd in your account of illegal funds from Nigeria....

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    Purveyor of intelligent reading material Lt-Col A. Tack's Avatar
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    Missing fun stuff like this almost makes me want to change my spam filter

    "after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest"

    I'm not even sure I could handle "minimum" arrest!

  4. #4
    I'll be in the corner. Rattfink's Avatar
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    Wait...isn't the FBI in Virg....nah this guy is legit. Better pay up. Although I sent him $98 to facilitate a funds transfer from a mysterious rich Nigerian uncle I had and never knew about.

  5. #5
    Purveyor of intelligent reading material Lt-Col A. Tack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rattfink View Post
    Wait...isn't the FBI in Virg....nah this guy is legit. Better pay up.
    My conclusion as well.

    Although I sent him $98 to facilitate a funds transfer from a mysterious rich Nigerian uncle I had and never knew about.
    Each family tree has many branches.

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    Fbi instead of FBI, seems legit.

  7. #7
    Μολὼν λαβέ Hollis's Avatar
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    Dang a terrorist in our mist.

    That is a pretty good one. Maybe we should have a sticky for those messages. I get them now and then.

  8. #8
    Purveyor of intelligent reading material Lt-Col A. Tack's Avatar
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    "so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched."

    Might as well give up trying to sleep tonight.

  9. #9
    Μολὼν λαβέ Hollis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lt-Col A. Tack View Post
    "so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched."
    Might as well give up trying to sleep tonight.
    Well if you disappear, we will know what happened to you.

  10. #10
    Purveyor of intelligent reading material Lt-Col A. Tack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollis View Post
    Well if you disappear, we will know what happened to you.
    I'm hoping I have nothing to fear. I have the greatest respect for the institutions of our goverment, including the fbi and efcc. Surely ROBERT MUELLER would not give me false assurances.

  11. #11
    Bush Lawyer, that's me! TheKiwi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TOWOGBOLA .A.JOHNSON SECRETARY.
    From: Secretary Towogbola [secretary_in_chargeeeee@hotmail.com]
    Subject: TREAT AS URGENT {THIS IS NO JUNK MAIL}

    "EXECUTION"EXECUTION"EXECUTION"'
    NATIONAL CORPORATION HEADQUATERS LAGOS.

    PRIVACY. we wish to introduce our company/ourselves as a subsidiary of INTERNATIONAL ASSASINATORS AND WORLD SECURITY ORGANISATIONS,with branches in one hundred and two {102}countires.

    we have received a fax message from our headquaters,new york,this morning to inform you to produce a mandatory sum of US$40,000.00 {FOURTHY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS} only,into our account given below in nigeria within ninety six hours{96},alternatively you will be SNIPPED and GUNNED down during the period of our oncoming anniversary of fifty years.

    STANDARD TRUST BANK VICTORIA ISLAND BRANCH LAGOS A/C NO. 03681173101152 {OLAJIDE .O. WILLIAMS} NIGERIA

    CAUTION.

    1.you are to attach and send with immediate effect,the payment slip,confirming the payment and to enable us to reconcile with our files and deploy our men already monitoring you.

    2.we will as well waste no time to carry our operations,if we discover that this contact is disclosed to any second party including the following:-

    {a}police {b}relation and {c}friends

    3.we guarantee your saftey locally and internationally,on the completion of this contract and will not hesitate to disclose our men in your country to you and as well render our service if needed or on request.

    we seek your urgent co-operation,for it is not our wish to get you eliminated.

    Note : - Your death has been paid for by someone you offended sometime ago and it will be adviceable that you co-operate with us a.s.a.p.

    TOWOGBOLA .A.JOHNSON SECRETARY.
    12345678910

  12. #12
    Senior Member Arnie100's Avatar
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    They need someone to check their grammar, LOL.

  13. #13
    Senior Member pocoloco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arnie100 View Post
    They need someone to check their grammar, LOL.
    Fbi is being busy and churning these very personal emails to people in distress and you are concerned about the grammar?!?


    Just in case:

  14. #14
    Meh.... sgt_G's Avatar
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    {FOURTHY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS}
    huh....thats more then eleventy.....but doesn't sound as cool in front of billion.....

  15. #15
    Senior Member G-AWZT's Avatar
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    Are you sure Eric Holder didn't send this email?

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