They're a little more sensitive than we westerners to 'family insults'. While you or I might not get too upset about a cousin's house getting 'tossed' in a security op, they take such things to heart. It's no big deal to westerners, just something that needs to be done. They don't see it like that. You bust in their house or insult their grampa, or mother or father - make eyes at their sister - and they start thinking murder.
As you say there isn't one set of consistent rules, every ferenghi is a mini satrap with his own set of 'rules'. It might help if we could speak their language to communicate and explain our 'rules'. All we do is p*ss them off. We'd feel the same if they were 'helpng' us like that.
You'd think we would have learned some respect by now.