Mine is even military related:
I think i was 6 the last time it happened. I had to go really hard. It was somewhere in a rural area away from home on a summerholiday weekend. So i didn't tell mommy what's building up inside me. Then some low flying jetfighters passed and i was scared for a second and let it happen. They fly (flew?) very low in the flatlands of northern germany.
Not sure if they were Luftwaffe, RAF or USAF - they all fly here, but they broke my soundbarrier. Cold war...
I never crapped in a public place but crapping the pants does suck. Last winter I had the worst stomach flu ever, I was ****ting all day. My girlfriend asked me how I was doing, I just said I was throwing up a lot, cause diarrea is just way to disgusting, esspessially if you crapped your bed while you were asleep. When I woke up I was sitting in a shallow pool of liquid poop. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
almost just shat my pants now.... i have constipation and have taken ex lax, this **** doesnt work! i aint done the biggie yet.
9 years ago, while i was sailing PT boats. We were on a tour, after 12 days with nothing more than a couple of stolen minutes of sleep a day. We came to port and i CO came and said that we would be attacked by 30 or so Army infantry, and we had to take defensive positions. And since i was in the deck department, we were 4 private ratings and one MSgt. But we had to be out in front, with or old Husqvarna MPs, 9mm of pure goodness. I was some what.... sleepy. After like 30 mins i was snozzing sweetly, sitting in the rear guard and then my MSgt comes sneaking, this guy was the incarnation of evil, he had been watching me as i slipped away to never everland. So when he saw the first of our attackers, he took the MG42 DK version, and gently laid on my helmet top.... and unleashed hell... I got so f**** scared i sharted in my NBC suit. This not helping that i had shellfish the night before... wich gives me the runs.
Well **** happens under fire.
If I am hungary I will do it. Just so I have something to eat.
I never have but when I was in high school I worked at the local K-mart and one day 2 severly retarded kids came into the store with an adult. I saw them walking towards the bathroom and I was a stockperson and was in charge of cleaning the bathrooms so I was always real paranoid about people goin into the head and screwing things up. So I get curious and decide to see what these two mongoloids are doing in the john, I walk in and I think my head looked like a grape, I was that pissed. One of the guys has his head over the toilet and is puking his guts out, and it's not just going in the toilet but all over the place because he keeps raising his head to watch his ape friend who HAS HIS ASS IN THE SINK and is emptying the contents of his bowels into this little ass sink. And the sink is real shallow so the liquid **** is hitting the sink and then flying up behind the guy and splashing all over the mirror above the sink. So I start gagging because it smells like the devils diahrea and run the hell out bumping into my manager outside, he asks what the hell is wrong, and with one hand over my mouth I just point to the bathroom door. He goes in comes out and says "you better hurry up and clean all that **** because I have to take a dump". I just looked at him in total disbelief, ripped off my red employee vest and walked the hell out, still nauseous from the smell. Guess how long I worked there, 1 DAY!!!!!
1st prize! That is the funniest story I've ever heard. **** ing ape friend. Comedy.
I did that once to gross someone out. On a roadtrip out to Oklahoma with my family I went into some bathrooms and put on some dirty boers and pants. Once I knew we were 10 minutes away from Lawton (a city) I took a big nice **** in the car. It came out as one big and thick long turd but after hopping up and down and getting shoved around I smushed it everywhere, some of it even came out of my pants. I thought it was gonna be ok except when we were about to get to Lawton my dad decided it would be worth it if we just went straight to Walters (where a bunch of my relatives live) and arrive at my aunts house and make me change there and get all embarassed. Once we arrived all of my uncles and aunts and about 14 of my cousins we there, I was so frickin redfaced at my dad. The entire car smelled like hot **** and so did I, worst day of my life.Originally Posted by †Seraphim†
After all the **** that I've said around here I'm not going to pretend that something you said was disgusting, but I will say this. You my friend are a wierdo.I did that once to gross someone out. On a roadtrip out to Oklahoma with my family I went into some bathrooms and put on some dirty boers and pants. Once I knew we were 10 minutes away from Lawton (a city) I took a big nice **** in the car. It came out as one big and thick long turd but after hopping up and down and getting shoved around I smushed it everywhere, some of it even came out of my pants. I thought it was gonna be ok except when we were about to get to Lawton my dad decided it would be worth it if we just went straight to Walters (where a bunch of my relatives live) and arrive at my aunts house and make me change there and get all embarassed. Once we arrived all of my uncles and aunts and about 14 of my cousins we there, I was so frickin redfaced at my dad. The entire car smelled like hot **** and so did I, worst day of my life.
What kind of thread is this? 0o0
Thats why Im on Militaryphotos.netAfter all the **** that I've said around here I'm not going to pretend that something you said was disgusting, but I will say this. You my friend are a wierdo.I did that once to gross someone out. On a roadtrip out to Oklahoma with my family I went into some bathrooms and put on some dirty boers and pants. Once I knew we were 10 minutes away from Lawton (a city) I took a big nice **** in the car. It came out as one big and thick long turd but after hopping up and down and getting shoved around I smushed it everywhere, some of it even came out of my pants. I thought it was gonna be ok except when we were about to get to Lawton my dad decided it would be worth it if we just went straight to Walters (where a bunch of my relatives live) and arrive at my aunts house and make me change there and get all embarassed. Once we arrived all of my uncles and aunts and about 14 of my cousins we there, I was so frickin redfaced at my dad. The entire car smelled like hot **** and so did I, worst day of my life.
this is the ****pants anonymous confessional thread
Me too. Just, i'm pushing about a week. The funny thing is, I don't even feel like I NEED to go, like aliens come at night and empty me out. It's starting to freak me out.
well one of these days your going to have to **** really bad but you are going to have trouble because the piece of **** will be too big to come out... If that happens, then take a stool softener or somethingMe too. Just, i'm pushing about a week. The funny thing is, I don't even feel like I NEED to go, like aliens come at night and empty me out. It's starting to freak me out.
Already took two yesterday and one today. Might go see a doctor, i've had some colon cancer history in my family.well one of these days your going to have to **** really bad but you are going to have trouble because the piece of **** will be too big to come out... If that happens, then take a stool softener or somethingMe too. Just, i'm pushing about a week. The funny thing is, I don't even feel like I NEED to go, like aliens come at night and empty me out. It's starting to freak me out.
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