Also another one by JC
The thing that used to annoy me most about church when I was growing up was all the standing up, then sitting down, then kneeling. I wish you could just pick up position and **** me
A blonde walks into a bank with a 5-gallon water jug filled with change into a bank to cash it out. The male teller looks at the woman and says, "That's a lot of change. Did it take a long time to hoard it all?"
A mother goes to the doctor with her 12 year old child for his annual check up. At the end of the check up, the doctor declares that the boy is healthy, and talks to the boy about puberty and the changes his body is going through.
Privately, the mother asks, "Is there any way to make his ***** grow larger?" The doctor tells her that a good remedy is lots of carbohydrates to promote growth. He recommends a bagel every morning.
The next day the boy wakes up and sees a plate piled with bagels on the kitchen table. The boy asks his mother if he can have some, and she replies, "Yes, you can have ONE. The rest are for your father."
Images of Michael Jackson are to appear on cans of Pepsi to mark the 25th anniversary of the release of his album 'Bad'.So, nearly 3 years after his death, he's still finding his way down children's throats.