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Thread: Archive Thread 3- Pig Hunting

  1. #121
    Member AFJROTC55's Avatar
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    ^^^^^^^^^I THINK I JUST CRAPPED MY PANTS

    4th or 5th funniest thing i've ever heard.

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  2. #122
    "It's a Toyota D*ckhead" Beowulf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hot Lips
    Gawd, I never expected this topic on MP.net, but I LOVE to go wild hog hunting myself. There is this awesome local watering hole where I know I'm sure to bag a beast when the mood strikes. I have to disagree with Kelly thought, because while they might be used to humans being around, they never seem to get any wiser.

    I too stalk my prey within close proximity and I'm not adverse to a little hand to hand combat with these beasts if that is what it takes. I tangled for hours with one before it finally went down. *sigh* Good times.

    Wind direction is crucial, but I like to be upwind from my prey because I've discovered by sheer accident on a past excursion that when I wear Christian Dior "Poison" it seems to bring the hogs a running. I want them to get a wiff of me coming before I close in for the kill. It's exilerating.

    I think Kelly has a point about sound. I find the less noise I make the more receptive to my trap they are.

    Sight. I find that THIS is 90% of the battle. Hogs are visual creatures by nature. I don't hide my path, in fact, I'll strut right past them, just daring them to approach. I like to get to know my surroundings and let these hugs get used to my presence so that I seem like less of a threat. I never stare at them when we make contact. I look away so that they feel more dominent. I let them think I'm the prey.

    I put myself right out there. I saunter up to the water hole, bend down and take my drink with the beasts letting them take a good long look at me. Slowly they come sniffing around, trying to figure out why I'm there. They seem confused at first and stand offish, but eventually the grow accustom to my presence.

    I don't go barefoot. I like to wear my special hunting boots that come up to my thighs for protection and, while I knows it's a little Indiana Jones of me, I like to bring my whip to help fend them off when neccessary. Though somestimes they seem to like that more. I have a protective leather vest I wear too because I don't like to get all scarred up after I've bagged my beast.

    I'd like to say I'm classy when I'm hunting, but I've come to realize that on the rare occassions I'm looking to snar something wild to mount that "classy" can be a turn off to these animals.

    I'm sure this sounds like utter BS to most of you because your small minds can't fathom a mere woman getting over on a wild hog. The only proof I can offer you is a picture of me in my hunting gear.




    My mother always told me all men are pigs, but she's only 1/2 right.

    holy crap....

    That was awesome.

  3. #123
    Member AFJROTC55's Avatar
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    no, i mean like, i dont have them, my friend does, i dont even have them at my disposal. any help

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  4. #124
    Suspended for infractions Anthony91's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greek soldier
    Hot Lips, MP.net's Amazon

    Mommy can I have that for Christmas?

  5. #125
    Dangerous Curves Ahead Hot Lips's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by California Joe
    Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
    I'll put you on the list. Every few months I like to plan a private mock hunt to keep my skills sharp. It's a casual affair, but attire must be form fitting.

  6. #126
    Member AFJROTC55's Avatar
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    and yeah, you're right about the equation, beer ****+Viagra=no beer **** but if Mr, ***** is askin for to much of a raise, there is a potential for bad things to occur.

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  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFJROTC55
    and yeah, you're right about the equation, beer ****+Viagra=no beer **** but if Mr, ***** is askin for to much of a raise, there is a potential for bad things to occur.

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    ahhhhh I see...I'll keep that in mind if I ever get a *****


    about the smiley thing..you mean you don't even have them displayed anywhere?

  8. #128
    Classless Tard. BadKarma26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFJROTC55
    and yeah, you're right about the equation, beer ****+Viagra=no beer **** but if Mr, ***** is askin for to much of a raise, there is a potential for bad things to occur.

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    arent you like 15? I didn't even start getting erections until a year ago. this thread needs an age limit.

  9. #129
    Suspended for infractions Anthony91's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFJROTC55
    and yeah, you're right about the equation, beer ****+Viagra=no beer **** but if Mr, ***** is askin for to much of a raise, there is a potential for bad things to occur.

    1*
    Like OMG, you said *****. I think it's time to pull out today's magical word.


    PERPETUITY

  10. #130
    Member AFJROTC55's Avatar
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    how does 17 sound?

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  11. #131
    Classless Tard. BadKarma26's Avatar
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    well im leaving everyone to go get ammo and gas! wish me luck, and if we bag any ill bring back pictures...and a healthy ****** appetite

  12. #132
    Member AFJROTC55's Avatar
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    and the whole perpetuity thing, i dont get it.

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  13. #133
    Dangerous Curves Ahead Hot Lips's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadKarma26
    well im leaving everyone to go get ammo and gas! wish me luck, and if we bag any ill bring back pictures...and a healthy ****** appetite
    Good luck! I hope you get gas!


    Hmmmm, that didn't come out right.

  14. #134
    Suspended for infractions Anthony91's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadKarma26
    well im leaving everyone to go get ammo and gas! wish me luck, and if we bag any ill bring back pictures...and a healthy ****** appetite
    Dont kill anybody now.

  15. #135
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    so...the person who started this thread just left to do what was originally intended to be discussed on the thread, then the thread was comically hijacked, does that mean we stop talking now?

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